The Divorce Decision Series

OPENING

SETENCE: There is an old nursery rhyme called “Humpty Dumpty.”

INTRODUCTION: Of course we all know it. We can quote it better than most Bible verses.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men. Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

I would like to suggest that we are all very much like Humpty Dumpty sitting precariously on a wall we call self-esteem. Let me explain. One of the illustrations I often use in marriage counseling is that our self-esteem is like an egg. The shell is fragile and easy to crack and if it is damaged enough it will ooze messy yoke all over. When we start a relation that leads to marriage our shell (self-esteem) is protected and strengthened by the other person. They are safe in that they affirm you, care for you and are very sensitive sense of well-being. We know that harsh words, even if true, will hurt the other person and damage the relationship so we avoid them- at least at that stage.

When the courting period is over it is not uncommon for that to change. As our flaws are exposed we do just as Adam and Even did in evading responsibility and passing blame. That fragile shell we call sell esteem finds itself being threatened. Now, instead of the other person being a source of protecting that shell they become a threat. Their accusations, whether they are true or false, are like darts that chip away at our fragile shell.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: In time the dart throwing becomes so intense and painful the persons in the marriage believe they have only one option left- divorce.

TRANSITION: Divorce is their attempt to remove themselves from the line of fire. They fear if they don’t their fragile shell will completely shatter leading them to become like Humpty Dumpty- broken and irreparable. Yet, is divorce really the best or only option?

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: This morning we will look at the question, “What does Jesus teach us about the permanence of marriage?” We will learn that divorce is not an option, except for adultery. His position was a radical idea even for His day and one that even his own disciples questioned. He does not even try to soften His position to make it more acceptable.

TEXT: Matthew 19:1-2

THEME: The marriage covenant is to be a permanent bond that is joined by God Himself.

What does Jesus teach us about the permanence of marriage?

I. Jesus position on divorce and remarriage was more radical than even the Pharisees (1-6)

A. Jesus was being entrapped to take a position on the two schools of thought on divorce.

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

We are told in this passage that the Pharisees were trying to test or entrap Jesus on what was an ongoing debate in Jewish circles. I am guessing that they saw that He hobnobbed with sinners and maybe assumed He would take a soft position on divorce to accommodate his wayward followers. If so, they will be proven wrong.

To understand the trap, we need to understand the two competing schools of Jewish tradition known as the house of Hillel and the house of Shammai. These “houses” represented groups of rabbis who studied the Torah. They wholly depended on memory to transmit complex arguments so a rabbi named Judah HaNasi wrote down the oral tradition of the law in the late second century AD. It became known as the Mishnah. It can safely be assumed its teachings were consistent with Jewish rabbinical teaching in the days of Jesus and St. Paul.

1. Shammai- Divorce only for the case of any indecency or unchastity. His position was an interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1 which says, “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house.” His focus was grounded in the phrase “something indecent about her”- he limited the word to sexual indecency.