The Day After The Resolutions

The Day after the Resolutions (Jan 2 2026)

Therapists sometimes encourage their clients who are puzzled over a boyfriend or girlfriend to have a “DTR” conversation with that other person. The acronym DTR is short for “define the relationship.” One Christian described interactions with a fellow as “hanging out” with him for almost a year before trying to clarify just how they related:

‘“So, do you ever see us being more than just friends?” I asked. He looked at me and calmly said, “No. I don’t.” We exchanged a few more words, and that was the end of the conversation. Our friendship waned after that, and a few months later he moved to another state for his job. I never heard from him again.’ They wasted considerable time and energy waiting for each other to start a “DTR” conversation. It’s best to have that chat early, isn’t it?

I begin with that story because once an intimate relationship between persons exists, that relationship begins to define who each person is. Those who know me very well certainly realize that I can be best defined as “husband” to my wife, as her confidant, protector and friend. Our children define us as mom and dad and relate to us as our children.

St. John’s letter, like his Gospel, treats God similarly. He focuses on two persons of the Blessed Trinity, the Father and the Son. He defines the human antichrist, whether a person or an ideology, as “whoever denies the Father and the Son” and says that “Anyone who denies the Son does not have the Father, but whoever confesses the Son has the Father as well.” The Father, who is also our Father, is defined by His relationship to the Son. And also the other way around. That’s why, for instance, followers of Islam are not Christians. They deny that God is tri-personal, so the relationships of the Blessed Trinity are, to them, heresy.

Muslims then relate to their concept of God very differently from us. They are not children of God. The very notion is abhorrent to them. They consider themselves to be like slaves of God and obey His commands with the fear of slaves to their master. We Christians act as adopted children of the Father, and live in Christ, the Son of God, as heirs to God’s kingdom. We obey with a filial fear. We keep God’s commandment to love Him and love our neighbor because we do not want to damage our loving relationship with our Father.

Consider today the words of our psalm, one we repeat a lot in the Christmas season: “The LORD has made his salvation known: in the sight of the nations he has revealed his justice. He has remembered his kindness and his faithfulness toward the house of Israel.” We are the New Covenant house of Israel, His Church. Is this something a slave would sing about his master? No way. It is the song of a redeemed Church toward a loving Father. Blessed be His holy Name forever.

Let's all today examine our New Year's resolutions in the light of that relationship. God the Father is, through the obedience of our faith, also our Father in Christ. How do our resolutions stand up to that relationship?