"The Christian And Their Family” Series

The idea of the traditional family gets a “bad rap” in today’s society.

I heard of a little girl who had just returned from seeing the movie, “Cinderella.” She was telling her elderly neighbor lady about the movie. At one point she said, “And do you know how the movie ends?” To which the older neighbor replied, “They lived happily ever after?” “No,” said the girl, “they got married!”

That story illustrates society’s attitude toward the traditional family - the idea of one man and one woman married together for life who raise children together. That’s the traditional family. As Christians, we refer to it at the biblical family; and in our passage for today, Paul gives instruction on two relationships within the family: that between husband and wife; and between parent and child. (READ TEXT)

Observation #1: Paul is describing an ideal scenario.

People often look at these verses and ask, “What if the husband wants his wife to commit a crime? Should she still be submissive?” Or “What if the parents ask something of their children that is sinful? Should they still be obedient?” The answer is, “Of course not!” The context for these instructions is found in verse 17:

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” - Colossians 3:17 (NIV)

Paul’s describing how husbands and wives, parents and children should relate to one another, as believers who desire to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. Therefore, one spouse asking something of the other that’s contrary to what’s right; or parents asking something of children that isn’t right, isn’t what Paul’s addressing. Some impose such imperfect scenarios on passages like this and insist the Bible teaches, for example, that wives or children should live with abuse. That’s twisting the Word of God. Paul’s describing the best case scenario. Which means that what he’s describing is a goal for Christian families to aspire to in our relationships with one another.

Observation #2: Paul is describing an elevated view of the family.

“Under Jewish law a woman was a thing; she was the possession of her husband, just as much as his house or his flocks or his material goods were. She had no legal right whatever. For instance, under Jewish law, a husband could divorce his wife for any cause, while a wife had no rights whatever in the initiation of divorce. In Greek society a respectable woman lived a life of entire seclusion. She never appeared on the streets alone, not even to go marketing. She lived in the women’s apartments and did not join her menfolk even for meals. From her there was demanded a complete servitude and chastity; but her husband could go out as much as he chose, and could enter into as many relationships outside marriage as he liked and incur no stigma. Both under Jewish and under Greek laws and custom, all the privileges belonged to the husband, and all the duties to the wife.” - William Barclay in his commentary on Colossians

The picture of the ideal Christian family given here by Paul is quite different from what was considered “normal” in ancient society. Yet, some, out of ignorance of history do not realize how radical a departure Paul’s instructions for the family here were, and have wrongly called Paul a chauvinist and anti-woman. Nothing could be more untrue.

And as radical as was Christianity’s elevation of the status of women, even more radical was it’s elevation of the status of children.

“Ancient society was organized in concentric circles, with the center circle containing the highest value people, and the people in the outside circles having little-to-no value. At the center was the freeborn, adult male, and others were valued depending on how similar they were to the freeborn, adult male. Such was the lot of foreigners, slaves, women and children. Pagan authors describe children as being more like plants than human beings. And this had concrete consequences. Children were rudely brought up, and very strong beatings were a normal part of education. In Rome, a child’s father had the right to kill him for whatever reason until he came of age. One notorious practice Christianity rebelled against was abandoning unwanted infants. Another was the sexual exploitation of children. This is the world Christianity came into, condemning abortion and infanticide as loudly and as early as it could. Christianity’s invention of children - that children are treasured human beings - was really an outgrowth of its most revolutionary idea: the radical equality, and the infinite value, of every single human being. If the God, who made heaven and Earth chose to reveal himself, not as an emperor, but as a slave punished on the cross, then no one could claim higher dignity than anyone else on the basis of earthly status.” - Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry, in his article, “How Christianity Invented Children.”