The Best Moment To Repair An Injury

Third Sunday of Advent 2023

As I’m looking over our reading from this late chapter of Isaiah, almost certainly written during or after Israel’s Babylonian exile, I am struck by the intersection of the promises God makes to us: good news for the afflicted, healed hearts for the brokenhearted, liberty for captives, jail cells opened, comfort for those who mourn. What intersects all of these positive outcomes? What one reality can bind them together? It’s the restoration of relationships, between humans and their families, between man and creation, between us and God. And how does God act to bring together all these opposing situations? Through forgiveness. When I’ve been stupid, thoughtless or insensitive, hearing “I forgive you” on the lips of the one I have offended is truly good news, because the longer I walk around unforgiven, the bigger is my felt affliction. It is literally the way to heal hearts on both sides. Forgiveness is like a big bolt-cutter breaking me free from chains, or the key to a jail cell. True comfort is forgiveness–both ways.

This kind of forgiveness-based reconciliation is truly a divine Gift. It is a gift, truly, of the Holy Spirit. We should pray for this grace frequently, especially when we see or experience conflict.

Now let’s go a bit deeper into this situation. When do we stupid or insensitive actions that can get us into broken relationships? When we are happy and health and chugging along at 100%? Not likely. It’s when we are troubled, or sick, and our minds are focused on our own problems or illness. That’s especially true if we’ve been suffering for a while, and don’t see that as an opportunity to unite ourselves with the suffering Christ. So we do something or say something offensive and it ruptures a personal bond.

Step a little further along this line of argument. I’ve noticed when talking to someone close that the long-term pains of broken or injured relationships end in the permanent disability or death of one of the parties. And that leaves the survivor unable to experience reconciliation. That’s one reason married couples are wise to resolve that they’ll never go to bed in hostility. Make up with each other before retiring for the night, and you won’t have to feel guilty for the rest of your life if your spouse does not wake up the next day. Sure, that’s not likely to happen, but it could. Going to the trouble of making up that night is a small price to pay in comparison with the lifetime of guilt you might have to pay otherwise.

In other words, when is the best time, the optimum time, for reconciliation? Demand to know, like the Jerusalem crowd that came to John at the Jordan and wanted to know who he thought he was. John did not make them wait for an answer, and I won’t either.

You see, some folks, probably because of personal history, get into the habit during a snit of withdrawing and nursing resentment. If there’s nobody else to feel sorry for you, they have found they can feel different by doing it themselves. And you can use that method to think and feel yourself permanently out of a relationship. You can guarantee that by dragging up old tapes of your conversations, perhaps decades old, out of your memory vault, replaying them and just feeling miserable and vengeful all over again.

Try something else the next time someone does anything to you that feels insensitive. Deny yourself permission to feel bad. Tell yourself that the insult or injury is that person’s problem before it is yours. Look up and say, “I don’t know if you realize how insensitive that was, but I forgive you.” There is great power in those words, especially if they are uttered with affection. So do it immediately. The best time to repair a relationship is just as it is in jeopardy. There is no better time than right now. That is one little method by which we permit God to sanctify us and our relationships fully. May His Name be blessed forevermore. Amen.