Surviving Hurts From Others Series

So, before we look at God’s antidote to the hurts from others, let=s look at four things NOT to do when people hurt you. As we go through these evaluate yourself on how you handle mistreatment. If you find yourself reacting in one of these ways understand it=s going to complicate things, it=s going to cause more problems in your life:

(1) Don=t ignore it. This is the Asuffer in silence@ approach. Pretend it doesn’t exist. A lot of us guys do that.. ASuck it up,@ Amacho man.@There are several ways to do this: a) Flat out denial. We=re moody and somebody says, AWhat=s wrong.@ ANothing, I don’t have a problem; I’m not hurting.@We deny how we really feel. People hurt us and we repress it and say, AThat didn’t hurt.@ b)Minimizing it. AYes it hurt but it=s no big deal. I=ll be alright.@ But you=re not. People say, "Time heals all wounds"- not all wounds. Sometimes time makes them worse if we keep putting off dealing with them. David wrote in Psa.39:2- "I kept quiet, not saying a word... But my suffering only grew worse, and I was overcome with anxiety. The more I thought, the more troubled I became.@(TEV) c) Or we procrastinate with our hurt.. AOne of these days I=ll take care of it. One of these days I=ll talk about it.@ We always want to postpone the unpleasant so we procrastinate. But, ignoring the hurt can turn minor problems into major ones. The wounds can get infected when we don’t confront them.

(2)Don=t run from them. This is the Asound retreat@ approach. Runaway. Escape. Don’t face up to anything. AChicken little.@David tried this too. Ps. 55:6-, "I wish I had wings like a dove. Then I’d fly away and rest. I would hurry to my place of escape.."(NCV) This is human nature. When we face difficulty we want to get away from it. It’s not by accident that all doors in public buildings open outward. When people panic, they run. That=s good in a building but not in a person. And we have all kinds of different ways to escape: movies, television, alcohol, drugs, divorce, the mountains. The problem is that you will still have the same problems when you return. You can get high or just get up high, but when you come down from the high, get over the hangover, get home from the trip, nothing is solved, nothing is changed.

(3) Don=t hide it. This is the Aput on a mask@ approach. Some people don’t ignore or run from their hurt; they hide it. They don’t tell anybody. Some of you are quite good at camouflaging your pain. You wear nice clothes and have a pleasant smile and play the game that they can=t hurt me, because they are not that important to me. We hate to admit it when we’re hurt, so we disguise it. Hiding a hurt only intensifies it. It only makes it worse. One of our priorities as a Church is to build an atmosphere of openness and honesty and authenticity. You=ve heard different people over the last few weeks share their struggles. That=s what we want Discovery to be - a safe place where real people can share real struggles. Sure, we know we need to hold each other accountable to God but we want to do that while being accepted and loved. There is healing when you’re able to share. James 5:16- "So admit your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you will be healed."(GW) Write this down: Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. As long as you hold onto it and hold it in, you hide it in your heart and you can’t get well. Some of you are holding onto hurts that happened years and years ago. Please understand that you can’t get well while you’re still hiding it.