Some Hopefully Humorous Suggestions Concerning How To Get Involved In Confl Series

SOME HOPEFULLY HUMOROUS SUGGESTIONS

CONCERNING HOW TO GET INVOLVED

IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS

REVISED MARCH 17, 2006

Matthew 18:15-35

Luke 17:1-10

Conflict is inevitable in all aspects of life. It takes humility, skill and knowledge of the Word of God to learn to be a reconciler.

1. BE BORN. Potentially your selfish nature will be in conflict with every other selfish person on earth. Your conflicts with your parents in those first few weeks may cause them to wish that they could send you back to the hospital.

At your birth you may find yourself involved as a weapon in a conflict between other people. Almost every child born to Jacob found himself in that situation. GENESIS 29:16?30:24

If you can’t wait until you are born, BE CONCEIVED AS PART OF A MULTIPLE BIRTH. An international conflict which lasted for centuries started in the womb of a mother who was giving birth to twins. GENESIS 25:19?26; ISAIAH 21:22?27; EZEKIEL 25:12?14; AMOS 1:11?12; OBADIAH

If you do not have brothers or sisters, ASK YOUR PARENTS TO PRODUCE SOME BROTHERS OR SISTERS FOR YOU. Some of the greatest conflicts in human history have been between brothers. I understand that the Civil (The name itself, in a sense, is a contradiction of terms.) War in the United States claimed the lives of more Americans than World War I, World War II, and the Korean War put together. The first brother who was born killed his brother. GENESIS 4:1?15. In a sense this was a war over religion, a war which continues right to the present, the most important war in history. Consider how many of the wars of human history have been over religion. See also #8.

4. If your parents do not want to have any more children, if they think that you are all they can handle, GO OUT AND PLAY WITH THE KIDS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. That will get you into all sorts of conflicts.

2. If that does not produce enough conflict for you, then GET YOUR PARENTS INVOLVED IN YOUR CONFLICTS WITH YOUR PLAYMATES. After all, as more people get involved in a conflict, the less chance there is for reconciliation.

6. GROW UP SO THAT YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL. That will probably get you into all sorts of conflicts with your parents, your teachers, and a whole new set of friends and enemies.

3. When you are old enough, ASK JESUS TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE. This will involve you in a new way in a conflict with Satan, and with the principalities and powers and rulers of the darkness of this world. This will involve you in a new way in an internal conflict of immense proportions. ROMANS 7:1?15

8. GET BAPTIZED AND JOIN A CHURCH. This may cause conflict in your home. And it is sure to get you involved in a whole new sphere of religious people with whom you can have conflict. The history of religious conflict is a most fascinating study. Consider the Near East, the Crusades, Northern Ireland, the age?old conflict between Catholics and Protestants, the persecution of saints in many lands, etc. Church business meetings are

notorious as sites for conflict.

9. Once you have joined the church, and have begun to work on becoming less selfish, START WORKING ON THE SELFISHNESS OF OTHERS. Begin with the most immature Christian and work your way up through the leadership right to the top. You will probably find that the higher you go in the leadership ranks the greater will be the conflict; not only with the leaders, but with Satan. Satan hates to see Christian leaders repenting and saying they are wrong. Repentance and humility are the greatest strengths in our battle against Satan. Satan hates to see these weapons being used effectively.

10. JOIN THE WORK FORCE. Conflicts in the work force are legion and legendary.

4. If you still haven’t had enough conflict, VOLUNTEER TO BECOME A

TEACHER, A PASTOR, OR A MISSIONARY IN A HOSTILE FOREIGN

LAND.

5. If you still have not had enough conflict, GET MARRIED.

6. If you still have not had enough conflict, RAISE SOME CHILDREN. TRY PARENTING.

7. TRY LEADING THEM TO CHRIST. TRY ENCOURAGING THEM TO BE

INVOLVED IN CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP AND CHRISTIAN MISSIONS.

8. If your children grow up and leave home, TRY INFLUENCING THEM AND THEIR SPOUSES FOR GOOD.

16. If you still have not had enough conflict, START RAISING GRAND-CHILDREN.

If in the course of all the conflicts, your spouse dies, GET MARRIED ALL OVER AGAIN.

If you would rather not do that, MOVE TO A SENIORS HOME AND TRY TO HAVE SOME INFLUENCE ON THE PERSON WHO SHARES A WASHROOM OR SOME OTHER FACILITY WITH YOU. Maybe the food in the home is not all that great, and needs to be improved. Try encouraging the administration to do something about the menus. Perhaps some of the procedures in the home are not that great because no one before you really cared. Suggest some caring changes. If you really want conflict, suggest some changes that will cost money.