Single Serving Seeking

1 Corinthians 7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

This passage is the dread of many single folks who desperately want to be married. Some because their parents are begging for grand babies, others due to peer pressure, some are lonely, some have children they need help raising. Some, as Paul speaks of in an previous verse, because they are burning or their sex drive is strong. One counselor told a lad that if you marry for sex you will be greatly disappointed. I have had ladies affirm that statement so it goes for both genders.

Truth is, many singles will not marry. I know a few from my high school class that have never married and there may be more of them. I graduated in 1970. Some are happy to be alone. They do not desire children and they are not burning. They asked a 100 year old Scottish woman the secret to her longevity and she replied that she stayed away from men. I never heard an old man say he lived so long because he stayed away from women.

Some had bad relationships and said forget it. Some have unreal expectations. Some are not male or female models and yet in a different culture they might have become models. I saw a picture of an Iranian princess back in the 1800s that men were killing themselves because she would not marry them and many pursued her. I do not know if she ever married. She would never have been on the cover of Cosmo nor would she be pursued to appear in Playboy in our current culture. Yet, she would have been voted then the hottest bachelorette of her time and place and crowned Ms. Iran.

Even with the advent of the Internet and scores of dating and matching sites some will never marry. Statistically, women generally outnumber men three to one. In some places seven to one. In China and in some other places they have aborted so many girls that there are now no wives for the men. Not sure you would want to live in that culture, but there are plenty of men that would be thrilled to have to you, single lady.

Most good men are already married by forty and sadly, start dying around that time as well. That puts more women back in an already saturated market. So, after forty women mostly have the chronically unemployed or never employed, addicts, felons, still living at home, multiple divorced, narcissists and gay men. Thus limiting the amount of suitable suitors.

Since the number of solid Christian men are also dwindling with the apostasy of many groups and the rise of New Age influence in the Church Christian women will have an even harder time to find a good mate than Non-Christians. Statistically speaking, of course. God can definitely provide you a man if you will trust Him whether He provides one or not. He may be blessing you by leaving you single. Same goes for the guys. A good woman is still hard to find no matter if the ratio is three to one or you are in a seven to one locale.

Note that Paul said that a single person is free from the many entanglements of marriage so that they may please the Lord and serve without distraction. Are you working on that or are you so preoccupied with finding a mate that you are not serving Him or seeking Him? That might be part of the reason you are not finding a mate.

I often tell people that the folks in church that I know best are the ones I am serving with in some capacity. That doesn't mean you find a ministry with a bunch of single guys or gals. You find a needed/needy ministry in your church or community. Some might say they are waiting to find a mate so they can serve together. That is partially admirable, but if you are not serving now you may not then.

What if your mate takes you somewhere else? Still, serve now. Someone once said and I think he was correct that if you are not serving where you are God will not call you to serve somewhere else. The Holy Spirit called Paul and Barnabas while they were already serving in Antioch. They were not just sitting on a pew or a couch awaiting a call. Serve where you can here and it will prepare you for wherever you may go with a spouse. If you both stay where you are then you wasted part of your life for something that did not transpire when you could have been serving.