Service For Gavin Xavier Sanford

In times like these the first question we often ask is “Why?” And that’s a legitimate question that we’re going to answer here today. But first, let’s deal with what some people believe are the reasons why we are here today.

During times like these, I’ve heard ministers say “God needed another flower for his garden in heaven.” They say these things when they’re trying to make sense of a death that doesn’t make sense. They use such imagery as a way of providing comfort to those who are hurting, who are questioning. But if we’re honest, telling us that God needed another flower in heaven doesn’t provide much comfort at all.

First John 1:5 says “God is light and in him is no darkness at all.”

The word “no” is the strongest word that God could have chosen to describe what is not in him. You will never, ever find darkness in God or in the way He deals with His children. Never, ever. Family, I want you to let that sink in.

If there is absolutely no darkness in God or in the way He treats us, how could He let a baby die so that He could have another flower in heaven? He didn’t. He has never done that and He never will.

Listen to me family, I don’t care what preacher so and so says or what elder so and so says. If they are saying things like this, then they are saying the wrong things. They may be good and caring people who mean well, but they are painting a picture of God that is terribly wrong.

Claretha, no amount of imagery is going to lessen the pain. No amount of imagery is going to make you feel better about losing Gaven.

Claretha, don’t forget that your mom and dad, your sisters, and your brother are hurting too. I’m sure they are struggling to find the right words to say. And that’s okay. This will be a time of struggle for you and your family. Be patient. The words will come.

Claretha, Aunt Doris and I and your grandmother – we know the hurt and the loss you are feeling. Aunt Doris and I walked this path two years ago. I’m not going to lie to you – it was heard. Your grandmother has walked this path three times and she is a testimony to you, as she was to us, that you will get through this. It will take time but you get through this.

So, today is about letting you know that you have a family who have walked this path before and who understand the hurt and the loss that you are feeling. And we are here for you. You are not alone in this.

Claretha, listen to me. I know your heart is aching. I know your heart is full of sadness right now. But I want you to know something: God’s heart is aching and full of sadness too, even more than yours. You are His daughter and He loves you. It breaks His heart to see you going through this. He would love nothing more than to have you crawl into His arms so that He can tell you, “Baby girl, it’s going to be all right. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

I’ve also heard people say “We don’t always know why but we know that God is good.” A different way that they sometimes say this is “It was God’s will.” It sounds good doesn’t it? It sounds like what you would expect Christians to say, doesn’t it?

Christians who truly know their Heavenly Father would say, “Yes, God is good. Amen! Hallelujah!” But they wouldn’t say “But I just don’t understand why this happened.” The Bible tells us why death happens.

When I hear people say things like this, I know they don’t know or truly understand God’s will for their lives. They believe things just happen and that’s the way it is. It reminds me of something I used to hear all the time – “God works in mysterious ways.” Trust me when I tell you: God’s ways can be known.

When I was a child, I knew the will of my mom and dad.

? You will go to church every Sunday and you will behave once you get there. That was the will of my mom and dad.

? You will clean up your room. That was the will of my mom and dad.

? You will not sit in the living room where all the furniture is covered with plastic. That was the will of my mom and dad.

? You will clean your plate before you leave the table. That was the will of my mom and dad.