Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

The Parable Of The Two Sons (Matthew 21:28-31)

Contributed by David Smith on Nov 13, 2007

A man had two sons, and I bet he wished he’d had more daughters! ...

Jesus said "What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ’Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ He answered, ’I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ’I go, sir’; but he did not go. Which of ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 21:28-31

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Take Advantage

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Aug 31, 2007

Can you believe it? God wants us to take advantage of Him and His Church! Usually when we think of ‘taking advantage’ it’s a bad thing, but not necessarily w/ the Lord. Link included to formatted text, audio & video, and PowerPoint Presentation.

Take Advantage Ecc. 2:24, 3:13, 5:18-19 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/TakeAdvantage.html Can you believe it? God wants to be taken advantage of! Usually when we think of ‘taking advantage’ of someone it’s a bad thing, but not necessarily w/ the Lord. The book of Acts shows God moving among the ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Our Call To Worship

Contributed by Darryl Klassen on Sep 4, 2007

The beginning of the Church year (Fall) and all of its activities calls for a renewal of commitment and repentance to do the Lord’s work. This Psalm is a call to worship and a call to battle for the church and its ministries.

OUR CALL TO WORSHIP Last week as I was walking my dog a verse came to my mind: “The earth is the LORD’s and everything in it…” I had not memorized this phrase, nor do I recall a song that would grab me the way this phrase did. I shrugged it off and continued the canine ritual. A few days ago I ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 24:1-10, Psalm 24:7-8

Denomination: Mennonite

Found And Forgiven

Contributed by Tim Zingale on Sep 10, 2007

A sermon for the 16th Sunday after Pentecost Proper 19 The lost sheep and lost coin

16th Sunday after Pentecost Proper 19 Lectionary 24 September 16th Luke 15:1-10 "Found and Forgiven" "Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes murmured, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them." So he told them this ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:1-10

Denomination: Lutheran

Getting Real With Your Enemies Series

Contributed by Joseph Smith on Sep 10, 2007

Opposition actually helps us grow. Hostility is destructive not only of others, but also of one’s self; and it spreads without reason. Jesus named its absurdity and then left it in the hands of God. Montgomery Hills Baptist Church

Stress strengthens. That is a physical fact. It is also a spiritual truth. Stress strengthens. When we face opposition, we grow. When we deal with differences, we become stronger. Strange as it may sound, give thanks when you are opposed! For stress strengthens; enmity empowers; and ...read more

Scripture: Mark 14:43-50

Denomination: Baptist

Are You Ready For The Kingdom

Contributed by Kevin Higgins on Oct 1, 2007

Salvation message

Mark 1:14-15 Are You Ready for the King? Woodlawn Baptist Church September 30, 2007 Introduction In Mark 1:14-15, the Bible says, “Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, and saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:14-15

Denomination: Baptist

Writings In The Sand

Contributed by Keith Broyles on Oct 4, 2007

All have sinned and God knows who we are and what we have done. But God forgives us and loves us anyway. And we do have something better to do than to stand around and point fingers. We can do what Jesus did. We can forgive and go out and share God’s

The noted Christian physician A. T. Schofield told a story about sitting with some friends in a hotel lobby that was lined with mirrors. As he glanced around the room he noticed a group of people some distance away seated around another table. Being very nearsighted, he couldn’t tell what they ...read more

Scripture: John 8:2-11

Denomination: Methodist

A New Year's Feast

Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on May 8, 2007

Leading into communion, with a large amount of OT Festival background, all around the question "how is your relationship with God?"

A New Year’s Feast Jan 4/5, 2003 Intro: New year’s resolutions… There was a couple who were sitting with a marriage counselor for their first session and the good doctor asked them to identify what seemed to be the root of their problems. The wife responded, "It all started when we thought it ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 11:28

Denomination: Baptist

The Heart Of A Mother

Contributed by Mark Schaeufele on May 10, 2007

A real Mother shows true devotion to her children.

The Heart of a Mother Text: 1 Kings 3:16-28 Introduction 1. Today we celebrate the gift of Motherhood. Mothers do many great things for us. a. Mothers teach us about foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident." b. Mothers teach us about logic: "If you fall ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 3:16-28

Denomination: Methodist

Judgement For All

Contributed by Robert Cox on May 17, 2007

Everyone will be judged the same no matter HOW or WHAT you believe....or don’t believe

ROMANS 2:11For God does not show favoritism.12All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared ...read more

Scripture: Romans 2:11-13

Denomination: Pentecostal

One Nation Under God [independence Day]

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Jan 6, 2004

We must Pay for Government, Pray for Government, Praise our Government, Participate in Government, Persuade our Government. Link included to Formatted Text and PowerPoint.

One Nation, “Under God!” Rom. 13:1-7 http://www.gbcdecatur.org/sermons/OneNationUnderGod.html There are a growing number of Christians who think that believers should not be involved in government and politics. There are several reasons for this attitude: 1. Afraid of promoting a social gospel ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:1-7

Denomination: Baptist

Messages To Seven Churches – Part 5 Series

Contributed by Cesar Delgado on Nov 5, 2006

Have you ever seen a church that was full of splendor, and has a good reputation? Yet later that church was dying and lifeless?

MESSAGES TO SEVEN CHURCHES Revelation 2:1- 3:22 Part 5 SARDIS – “The Dead & Lifeless Church” Revelation 3:1-6 Good News Christian Fellowship November 5, 2006 BUCAS, Daraga albay Introduction A. About the past events. 1. Typhoon “Melinyo” 2. Church Anniversary B. Today we will continue our ...read more

Scripture: Revelation 3:1-6

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Imitators Of God

Contributed by Don Jones on Nov 6, 2006

Veterans Day message centered on becoming imitators of God.

Imitators of God Ephesians 5:1 Don Jones Introduction I think everyone in this room knows the old adage, "the acorn does not fall far from the tree". I would have to say that after 26 years in the public school and 5000 students later that particular adage is pretty accurate. I was always ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1

Denomination: Baptist

The Passion

Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on Mar 25, 2005

A message of the passion for the view point of a roman officer

The Passion Matthew 27:27-31 Then he (who was Pilate the Roman governor) released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. 27 Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. 28 They stripped ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 27:27-31

Denomination: Methodist

Becoming A Contagious Church

Contributed by Fred Sigle on Apr 20, 2005

The Jerusalem church grew daily because there was such a contagious spirit among Christians that drawn others to it. The church today can also follow the example of the early church and become a contagious church.

BECOMING A CONTAGIOUS CHURCH (Inspired by Bill Hybels book: Building a Contagious Church) ILLUSTRATION: A PARAMEDIC was asked on a local Dallas TV talk-show program: “What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?” “Recently,” paramedic began, we got a call from that big white CHURCH on ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42-47

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ