Sermons about Dirty Jokes - SermonCentral.com

Blind Man Sees!

Contributed by Chris Talton on Jan 22, 2002

based on 27 ratings

| 11,420 views

Jesus has the power to open the eyes of the blinded if they will but recognize their blindness and ask.

March 12, 2000 John 9 ¡§Blind man sees!¡¨ INTRODUCTION I want you to do something for me. I want you to close your eyes. Now, imagine yourself going about your daily activities this way. The alarm goes off tomorrow morning, but your sudden blindness does not prevent you from being ...read more

Scripture: John 9:1

Denomination: Baptist

How To Share Your Faith Without Being A Jerk Series

Contributed by Timothy Peck on Mar 8, 2001

based on 204 ratings

| 26,680 views

Four important principles for sharing our faith in Jesus without being obnoxious about it in a postmodern context.

(Note: This sermon was introduced with a drama called "Nail The Pagan). The reason we laugh at satire is because there’s an element of truth in it. Sometimes in our enthusiasm to share the good news of Jesus Christ with others we can tend to come across like outreach commandos. We can come off ...read more

Scripture: Romans 10:14-21, Romans 9:1-3

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Phonies In The Church

Contributed by Dr. Ronald Shultz on Mar 17, 2001

based on 64 ratings

| 5,830 views

How to deal with false prophets.

Phonies In The Church People get too excited about nut cases, which claim to be prophets of God and various other lads/lassies that get into all sorts of scams and jams. Many people lose faith because their hero or favorite alma mater takes a nosedive. First, none of us are exempt from ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 4:1-5

Denomination: Baptist

Devastation To Resurrection

Contributed by Mike Hays on Apr 2, 2002

based on 17 ratings

| 4,682 views

Jesus had promised that He would overcome the grave, but those who loved Him so could not understand how pain and sorrow could ever translate into joy and salvation.

Devastation To Resurrection John 20:1-16 It had been a week of emotion. There was the fever pitched frenzy of adoring crowds lining the streets, shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” as they welcomed Jesus on Palm Sunday. While the excitement lingered, the crowd ...read more

Scripture: John 20:1-16

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

I Will Save The Unity Of Our Church Series

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 30, 2003

based on 57 ratings

| 11,156 views

The sermon introduces the series and stresses the importance of protecting the unity of the church that Christ died to give us.

Somerset Membership Covenant I Will Save the Unity of Our Church Ephesians 4:3 January 4, 2004 Intro: A. [illustration] A visitor to a mental hospital was astonished to note that there were only three guards watching over a hundred dangerous inmates. He asked his guide, “Don’t you fear that ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:3

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How To Behave In Church Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on Mar 19, 2003

based on 26 ratings

| 17,686 views

We’re to respect other believers and strive to live in peace with everyone. We’re also called to communicate what people need to hear, remembering to be patient with everyone.

How to Behave in Church I enjoy collecting bulletin bloopers. I’ve shared some in the past and have recently come across some brand new ones: Attend church and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. [I hope that’s not a reference to our potluck that follows the second ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Denomination: Baptist

Praying For The Right Things Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on Mar 19, 2003

based on 126 ratings

| 16,053 views

In the light of the Lord’s impending return, we’re to pray that our faith will grow and that our love will increase. Since those who don’t know God will be punished when Christ appears, we must avoid mediocre spirituality and apathetic prayers.

Praying for the Right Things One of my favorite commercials is for a cell phone company in which cellular static has caused some confusion between a married couple. The wife had just asked her husband to bring home “a movie, something old.” The husband however, thought she said, “Bring home a ...read more

Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 1:1-12

Denomination: Baptist

Can You Pass A Camel Through The Eye Of A Needle? Series

Contributed by David Dykes on Mar 31, 2003

based on 104 ratings

| 34,335 views

Jesus didn’t ask everyone he met to follow him. He asked the original twelve disciples–and He invited the Rich Young Ruler to follow him. The young man refused. Like many people, he was fooling himself about what it takes to have eternal life.

Can You Pass a Camel Through the Eye of a Needle? Luke 18:18-30 By Dr. David O. Dykes INTRODUCTION During this Christmas season, there are plenty of Scrooges out there. I heard about one lady who was fumbling in her purse to get her credit card to pay for a purchase. The cashier noticed she had a ...read more

Scripture: Luke 18:18-30

Denomination: Baptist

P.u.s.h.--Pray Until Something Happens! Series

Contributed by David Dykes on Mar 31, 2003

based on 929 ratings

| 333,475 views

In this parable, we learn the value of positive, persistent prayer and the need for prayer in our lives.

P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens! Luke 18:1-8 By Dr. David O. Dykes INTRODUCTION A young man went into a drugstore to buy 3 boxes of chocolate: small, medium, and large. When the pharmacist asked him about the three boxes, he said, “Well, I’m going over to a new girlfriend’s house for ...read more

Scripture: Luke 18:1-8, Luke 18:1-18, Romans 12:9-13

Denomination: Baptist

Lessons From A Leper Series

Contributed by David Dykes on Apr 3, 2003

based on 290 ratings

| 87,404 views

We all have a deadly problem only Jesus can fix. When we admit our need and cry out for Jesus, stepping out in faith, we receive the power to accomplish the directions God gives us according to the Bible.

Lessons from a Leper Luke 17:11-19 by David O. Dykes INTRODUCTION Have you ever had a totally lousy day? I read about a man who was sitting in a bar, looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half-an-hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, grabbed the drink from ...read more

Scripture: Luke 17:11-19

Denomination: Baptist

Pulling The Weeds Of Legalism Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on Apr 24, 2003

based on 206 ratings

| 58,102 views

Following a list of rules and regulations will never lead to spiritual vitality. Grace demands that we avoid judging others according to our standards.

Pulling the Weeds of Legalism Almost every state in our nation still has laws on their books that would surprise most people. For instance, In Florida, a woman may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. In Indiana, citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or ride in a public ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 2:16-23

Denomination: Baptist

The Scope Of Grace Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on Apr 29, 2003

based on 226 ratings

| 32,717 views

Many people consider it the greatest short story ever written because it speaks so truthfully to the human condition. It’s really the story of a father with two sons. One sinned when he left the other sinned while staying home. We’re going to look at

The Scope of Grace Since most of you are familiar with the story of the Prodigal Son, I thought I would read a different version of it it’s called the “Prodigal Son in the Key of F.” Feeling footloose and frisky, a feather-brained fellow forced his father to fork over his farthings. Fast he ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-32

Denomination: Baptist

Making A Marathon Marriage Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on May 29, 2003

based on 64 ratings

| 14,397 views

The Lord calls us to keep the covenant of marriage. We must guard ourselves so that we do not break faith with our marriage partner.

Making a Marathon Marriage After breaking up with his fiancée, a young man realized the error of his ways when he wrote: “Dearest Marie, No words could ever express the great unhappiness I’ve felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you’ll take me back. No one could ever take your place in ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 2:10-16

Denomination: Baptist

Flourishing In Faithfulness Series

Contributed by Brian Bill on May 30, 2003

based on 44 ratings

| 19,672 views

Since God is forever faithful to us, He desires for us to be faithful to Him and to others. A faithful person walks in the truth not matter what happens to him.

Flourishing in Faithfulness Rev. Brian Bill 7/22/01 Someone asked me a couple weeks ago if the jokes I hear about Wisconsin offend me. I told him that I ask for it by bringing up “God’s Country” so often in my sermons. That reminds me of the man who decided to write a book about churches ...read more

Scripture: 3 John 1:1-5

Denomination: Baptist

Getting Connected (Pt. 4)

Contributed by Chris Talton on Dec 19, 2003

based on 38 ratings

| 2,605 views

This sermon answers the question about how you can find the time to get into the presence of God and how doing so will actually make the rest of your time more effective.

Nov. 23, 2003 John 15 “Getting connected” (pt. 4) NOTE: All quotes unless otherwise indicated are from Bruce Wilkinson’s book, "The secrets of the Vine" INTRODUCTION “One Thanksgiving season a family was seated around their table, looking at the annual holiday bird. From the ...read more

Scripture: John 15:1-16

Denomination: Baptist

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