Sermons on Crude Joking:

Watch Out For Idols Series

Contributed by Keith Walker on May 19, 2004

Idols come in a variety of forms and will keep us from being delighted by God, delivered by God and being developed by God.

INTRODUCTION I want to conduct a little quiz this morning. I want you to raise your hand if you know the 4 following people: Reuben Studdard (winner of American Idol contest) Kenny Chesney (local boy, winner of his first Country Music award) Annika Sorenstam (Best lady golfer, just competed with ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 20:4-6

Denomination: Baptist

How To Stop The Church From Charging Series

Contributed by Larry Brincefield on Jun 18, 2005

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Take away his credit card!! :) But seriously, there are those who would stop the church from charging forward. How will the church combat these enemies?

Introduction 1. Last Sunday Night, I told the (lame) joke about how to stop a charging rhino (you take away his credit card)… • In spite of how lame that joke was, I did get a few laughs… • During that service, we learned some of the challenges that face our missionaries… • Disease, danger, wild ...read more

Scripture: Ezra 4:1-24

Denomination: Nazarene

Christ's Passion For The Father Series

Contributed by Mark Magee on Aug 17, 2004

From today’s text, let’s follow the example of Christ and let’s learn how we are to go about relating to God.

A. Welcome: B. Preacher’s Retreat: Lordship + Worship + Fellowship + Discipleship C. Easter/3 Service options: D. Series: Last Sunday, we began a new sermon series that will take us to Easter. This series has been inspired by Mel Gibson’s, The Passion of the Christ. Last week we ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 26:36-39

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Don't Look Back!

Contributed by Robert Cox on Jul 11, 2007

Time for a refreshing of the saints!

GEN 19:1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 "My lords," he said, "please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 19:1-26

Denomination: Pentecostal

Anatomy 101

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Jan 25, 2007

The Apostle Paul addressed the proper and healthy functioning of the Body of Christ by talking about the three "D’s" - Design, Diversity, and Display.

Anatomy 101 I Corinthians 12:12-31a January 21, 2007 Our bodies are truly wonderful things, yet they can also be the source of some really gross smells, noises, and other stuff. I think that I have told you before that I spent seventeen days in the hospital at Mayo Clinic back in 1996. My time ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:12-31

Denomination: Methodist

A God’s-Eye View Of Someone “under The Influence” Series

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Mar 13, 2016

Living under the influence of the Holy Spirit means living as light.

In 2013, a South Dakota man received his 16th DUI conviction. That means he was found guilty 16 times of driving a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol—the first conviction was way back in 1977. But from the little research that I did, he isn’t the record holder for DUI arrests ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-20

Denomination: Lutheran

Extreme Temple Makeover: Heart Edition

Contributed by C Jordan on Mar 27, 2010

We are the temple of God – His Holy Spirit lives in us. When Jesus comes into our lives, He wants to perform an Extreme Temple Makeover: Heart Edition.

EXTREME TEMPLE MAKEOVER: HEART EDITION OPENING JOKE: A pastor had had a bad week. On Sunday he was very frustrated and he began his sermon, "Everyone in this church is going to hell if they don't change their ways." One man in the back began to laugh. So the pastor said it again louder. The ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

Denomination: *other

Hearing God When He Speaks

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Jul 17, 2002

People tend to listen only to what they want to hear. Why do we do that to God and how can we learn to listen when He speaks?

People have a tendency to listen only to what they want to listen to… Keith Downing shared a story about his Uncle Dick. Apparently his uncle noticed that every time he ate his favorite food, chitlins, his foot pained him immensely that evening. The family physician confirmed his suspicion of ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1-8, 1 Samuel 3:1-3, 1 Samuel 3:1

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Excited Anticipation Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Oct 7, 2002

Abel and Enoch were unusual choices for the first representatives of God’s parade of faith. Why did God use them and what does this tell us about faith?

OPEN: In college, Ken Davis (a popular youth speaker) was asked to prepare a lesson to teach his speech class. They were to be graded on their creativity and ability to drive home a point in a memorable way. The title of his talk was, "The Law of the Pendulum." He spent 20 minutes carefully ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 11:1-6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

"God's Blessing On All The Children!"

Contributed by Scott Bradford on Oct 17, 2002

This sermon is to bestow God’s blessing on all the children, and to offer God’s grace to those who have felt outcast or abandoned..

I. Let me tell you the story of "Willow".(1) Every day as the Johnson kids played in their yard they would notice that they were being watched from the tree-line. The Johnson’s lived on a nice estate just this side of Greenville. It was a time when the days seemed "care free" and they enjoyed ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 21:8-12, Matthew 10:24-31

Denomination: United Methodist

Always Be Prepared!!!

Contributed by Dewayne Gamez on Feb 24, 2002

Jesus gave us all warnings about his return. Are these the end times?

As I read this passage, it kept reminding me of something. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was something very familiar about it! I know that I have read this somewhere else, other than the bible. But where? Maybe I read it in a book. Maybe I read it in the Left Behind series? That ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 24:1-14

No Loopholes

Contributed by Richard Jones on Nov 3, 2000

Our response to God needs to be total.

No Loopholes, We are called to be fools for Christ's sake Matthew 10:1 "Then He summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority to expel unclean spirits and to cure sickness and disease of every kind" Everything in life that has meaning and value is rooted in God's Grace. Paul begins all ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 10:1, Hosea 9:7

Denomination: Baptist

Making Room

Contributed by Paul Newell on Dec 8, 2001

This is the second in an Advent Series. This message deals with those who neglected to notice Mary & Joseph in the inn. Thoughts for the direction of this sermon were greatly influenced by a John MacArthur message "The People Who Missed Christmas".

Making Room…Luke 2:1-7 Intro: (Read Text) He gets a pretty bum rap for someone we actually don’t even know exists. The Bible doesn’t mention him (or if he existed). Tradition talks a great deal about the fellow – but it’s still all tradition and folk-lore to be historically honest: that “poor ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-7

Denomination: Baptist

The Absurdity Of It All

Contributed by Michael Deutsch on Dec 26, 2001

Why Christ came me seem absurd, but it is because God loves us.

First Baptist Church December 24, 2001 Christmas Eve When one of his speaking engagements ended, Landon Saunders would always take questions from the audience. On one night a young man began a dialogue with him that was spellbinding the audience. It was obvious this man was not being cynical, ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Denomination: Baptist

Sign, Bread, Wine = Body, Blood

Contributed by Tim Zingale on Mar 19, 2001

A Maundy Thursday sermon about Holy Communion

Maundy Thursday Luke 22:7-20 Sign, Bread, Wine = Body & Blood   The following is adapted from the book Iowa Parables by Jerry Schmalenberger. "In August of 1900 more than 250 hobos, tramps and freeloaders came by train to a little northwest Iowa town for their first annual National Hobo ...read more

Scripture: Luke 22:7-20

Denomination: Lutheran