Sermon Title: Dealing With Toxic Relationships By Pastor Joseph Ondu

Sermon Title: Dealing with Toxic Relationships

Text: Proverbs 13:20 – “He who walks with the wise becomes wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Speaker: Pastor Joseph Ondu

Introduction

Relationships are God’s idea. He created us to thrive in healthy, loving, and supportive connections. But unfortunately, not all relationships are from God. Some relationships come to drain, distract, derail, and even destroy your God-given purpose. These are what we call toxic relationships—relationships that poison your peace, weaken your walk with God, and damage your self-worth.

This sermon is about identifying, confronting, and healing from toxic connections so that you can walk freely and wholly in God’s will for your life.

What is a Toxic Relationship?

A toxic relationship is any relationship that continually harms you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or even physically. It could be with a friend, a colleague, a leader, a partner, or even a family member.

Some signs include:

Constant manipulation and control

Frequent emotional abuse

Guilt-tripping or gaslighting

Unrepentant betrayal

Chronic disrespect

Jealousy and competition

Pulling you away from God

Making you feel lesser, unworthy, or always at fault

Biblical Examples of Toxic Relationships

1. Delilah and Samson – (Judges 16:4–22)

Delilah appeared to love Samson, but her intentions were destructive. She was used by the Philistines to strip Samson of his power and destiny.

Lesson: Not everyone who says “I love you” is sent by God. Samson failed to discern Delilah’s heart until it was too late.

2. David and Saul – (1 Samuel 18:6–11)

Saul loved David at first, but when David began to succeed, Saul became jealous and tried to kill him.

Lesson: A toxic person may admire you publicly but hate you privately. Stay alert to their actions, not just their words.

3. Judas and Jesus – (Luke 22:47–48)

Judas walked closely with Jesus but was never truly aligned with His mission. He betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

Lesson: Proximity doesn’t equal loyalty. Some people are close enough to see your blessings but not committed enough to protect your destiny.

Why Does God Allow Toxic People in Our Lives?

To test your discernment – (1 John 4:1)

“Test every spirit…”

To build your strength – (Psalm 105:19)

“Until what He said came to pass, the word of the Lord tested Joseph.”

To expose your dependence –

Are you depending on people or on God?

To reveal your value –

Sometimes God uses their rejection to redirect you to your real assignment.

What Does the Bible Say About Dealing with Them?

Separate from them –

2 Corinthians 6:14 – “Do not be unequally yoked…”

Not everyone deserves access to your heart. Learn to say no without guilt.

Guard your heart –

Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart…”

Don't let toxic words define you. Anchor your identity in Christ.

Set boundaries –

Matthew 5:37 – “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’...”

Boundaries are biblical. Jesus didn’t go everywhere or please everyone.

Walk in love, but not bondage –

Forgiveness does not mean access.

Luke 17:3 – “If they repent, forgive them...” But if not, create space.

Pray and let go –

Sometimes deliverance is not only casting demons out of people, but casting toxic people out of your life.

When to Walk Away

Sometimes we stay in relationships God wants us out of. Why? Fear, guilt, loneliness, or a false sense of loyalty. But even Jesus walked away when people dishonored His presence (see Matthew 13:57–58).

You are not called to suffer endlessly in the name of love.

“If they don’t push you toward purpose, they’re pulling you from it.”

How to Heal After a Toxic Relationship

Run to God –

Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Renew your mind –

Romans 12:2 – Replace their lies with God’s truth.

Surround yourself with godly counsel –

Proverbs 11:14 – Healing happens in community.

Rebuild your identity –

You are who God says you are, not who they made you feel.

Forgive them and bless your future –

Matthew 6:14 – Forgiveness is not for them. It’s for your freedom.

Powerful Declarations Over Your Life

I am loved by God, not limited by people’s opinions.

Every toxic tie in my life is being broken in Jesus’ name.

I am walking in healing, wholeness, and purpose.

I release every person who hurt me, and I embrace God’s peace.

I am strong, wise, and surrounded by healthy, godly relationships.

Prayer Points

Lord, give me discernment – to know who is for me and who is sent to destroy me.

Break every soul tie – that connects me to ungodly and toxic attachments.

Heal me, Lord – from every emotional wound caused by unhealthy relationships.

Help me set boundaries – and walk in truth, peace, and boldness.