Sermon On: "if Only"

In her book entitled: “The Green Knight,” Dame Jean Iris Murdoch, an Irish and British novelist and philosopher remarks: “Here was another 'if only' - if only he had acted quickly, spontaneously, throwing 'tact' and 'good form' to the winds. Just then she had needed him, and he had failed. This bitter reflection positively, for a time, hindered his strange friendship with Louise, he avoided her almost to the point of boorishness, almost deliberately seeming to have lost his interest and his affection. The pain of his 'might have been' led him instinctively to devalue his loss, make it not a loss but something inconceivable and nil.” Revelation 19:1 reminds us: “After this I heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, crying out, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God.”

“If only” is an anthropocentric phrase frequently associated with dwelling on a regretful wish. It expresses a strong desire that things could, or might have been different if certain circumstances had not occurred. or one had done more. It suggests the same as “I wish” but is stronger. It is used to talk about past, present and future unreal conditions. Although it cannot be considered the fundamental truth of life, it often reflects an actual disappointment. The idiomatic phrase "if only" often leads to despondency because it represents a longing for a past or future that isn't, or might not be, the reality. This longing can be a source of dissatisfaction when compared to the present situation. While it can be a catalyst for positive change, dwelling on "if only" can hinder acceptance of what is and lead to prolonged unhappiness.

Sometimes, "if only" reflects bitterness, regret or missed opportunities. However, the truth of life encompasses broader concepts like impermanence, the inevitability of death, and the presence of both joy and suffering. "If only" represents a subjective approach focused on what could have been, rather than the objective reality of existence. However, if only does not always appertain to past regret, it can also be an expression of future hope.

A significant biblical reflection involving the phrase "if only" is found in Genesis 18, where Abraham bargains with God regarding the potential destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham questions God about sparing the cities if a certain number of righteous people are found within them. Another instance is in Matthew 9, where a woman with a haemorrhage believes that simply touching Jesus' garment will heal her. She says, "If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well." Matthew 9:18-22 confirms: “While he was saying these things to them, behold, a ruler came in and knelt before him, saying, “My daughter has just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.” And Jesus rose and followed him, with his disciples. And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well.”

Faith and hope could be described as a marriage of trust, and going hand-in-hand, particularly in religious and spiritual contexts. Faith provides the foundation of belief, while hope is the positive expectation that arises from that belief. They work together with love for each other to motivate and sustain individuals, especially during challenging times. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 reminds us: “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”

Reality and wish are distinct and separate concepts. Reality refers to the state of things as they actually exist, while a wish is a desire or hope for something to happen. While imagination can influence one’s perception of reality, it doesn't change the fundamental truth of what is actually happening. "If only" can be both helpful and harmful, depending on how it's used. In comparison, it can be a useful tool for processing regret and facilitating positive change, excessive dwelling on "if only" scenarios can lead to negative emotions like sadness and anxiety. In Christianity, both trials and triumphs are often viewed as being guided or influenced by God's grace. Trials are seen as opportunities for growth and for God's power to be revealed, while triumphs are often attributed to God's blessings and favor. This perspective suggests that even in difficult circumstances, God's grace is present and can lead to positive outcomes.