Self Control Series

Control Your Desires | Matthew 5:27-32

“You have heard it said” (Part 2)

- Jesus is not challenging the Law. He is saying, you’ve been taught in the past how to avoid certain actions, but Jesus is showing them how to do it!

- Jesus focus here is how to prevent sin before it occurs. Jesus does this by focusing on what is leading up to the sin before the sin itself manifests.

Stockholm Syndrome:

1. In 1973, there was a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden in which the hostages were held captive (in the bank) for 6 days before the ordeal was over.

2. During the 6 – day period, some of the hostages actually got to know their captors and developed friendships with them.

3. A criminologist who was assigned to the case, coined the phrase, “Stockholm Syndrome” and it refers to the emotional attachment that is formed which appeared to be an internal defense mechanism.

4. As a way of analogy, Israel does this, after they were liberated from their captivity from Egypt. After the deliverance, they begin to have a desire to return to Egypt and their slavery because they find comfort in the familiarity and in the wilderness, they are being asked and called upon to trust God for their provisions whereas in Egypt, their needs (housing, food, clothing) was met. It didn’t matter that slavery and cruelty was a part of the equation.

5. When we fight against lust / whatever struggle we are against, there is a tendency to develop an emotional connection between the addiction / the struggle and no matter what the outcome is (the issues we face as a result of our choices) we are willing to live with them. We rather live with the struggle and the issues that come with that struggle rather than trust God.

The Way of Jesus

• Behavioral Modification: The person is attractive. We have a lot in common. My wife and I aren’t getting along anymore. My wife just doesn’t do it for me anymore. My wife changed (physically).

o I don’t believe God is good. (Every good and perfect gift comes from him. This is a failure ON MY PART to see my wife as a gift). It is an act of stealing – IT is a failure, ON MY PART, that I don’t believe God will PROVIDE for Me (there is something internally going on that says this woman has something only she can provide me with).

o James 1:14-15: The more time and attention we give to the temptation, the more the outward act happens.

o Pornography sets up Unrealistic expectations for sexual encounters with others.

o Psychological studies have shown the pornography leads to issues related to intimate relationships with others.

“Cut out your eye, cut off your hand.”

• This is Jesus using hyperbole / exaggeration.

• What Jesus is saying here is cut off the source!

• Consider how having one less arm, eye, leg or ear would impact your life? You wouldn’t be able to function to your fullness.

• In the same way, living a life of impurity stuns spiritual growth!

• We have to be intentional about what we put into our minds!

• If your eyes cause you to sin, don’t look! (TV shows, magazines, movies), if your feet cause you to sin, don’t go (bars, clubs, someone’s house,

Self-Control! (Proverbs 4:23)

• Set barriers / boundaries for yourself.

• Remove barriers as needed (relationships, computer, tablet, phone, APP, etc.)

• Talk with others about your issue(s) – be vulnuable.

• Confess your sins – this can lead to healing.

• Get counseling / take medications.