Seeing Yourself Through His Eyes Series

40 things parents should not have to say to their kids, but do…

• Stop licking yourself.

• Why are you eating boogers?

• At what point did you think it was a good idea to poop in the front yard?

• Wearing underwear isn't optional. You must wear underwear.

• When you shower you need to use soap, every time!

• We don't pee on our friends.

• It isn't necessary to name your poops. Just flush the toilet.

• I understand that you love your fish, but you cannot snuggle him.

• If you keep putting LEGOS up your nose, you won't have enough pieces left to finish the kit.

• What did you think the bottom of the shoe was going to taste like?

• Don't be sad. Accidents happen. I pee when I sneeze.

• We go to bed every night. I don't understand why you are shocked. We went to bed last night, the night before that, and the night before that. This is not new information.

• Yes I will love you even if you grow up to be a dinosaur. I promise.

• Do not put the dog in a choke hold. She does not like that. That is why she runs away from you ever time she sees you.

• I love you, but go away.

• I know she was mean to you, but you can't stab her with a Lincoln log. Lincoln logs are not weapons.

• I don't cook vegetables because I hate you. I cook them because I love you.

• Get in the car. Get in the car. GET IN THE CAR!

• Buckle your seat belt. Buckle your seat belt. BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT!

• Did you really just ask me what happens when I get to three?

• Take your food out of your pants.

YES – parents can say some crazy thing, funny things and insane things… AND – they can also say some pretty cruel things, some image distorting things…

• Why can’t you be more like your brother

• Can’t you do anything right

• I wish you were never born

• You always disappoint me…

• You will never amount to anything

• I can’t wait until you grow up and get out of here

• Yeah I’m glad I married your mom but it’s too bad you had to part of the bargain

• I never wanted you in the first place

WHY – do you look squished, stretched and distorted when you look at yourself? Many times it’s because your parents have distorted how you see yourself..

UNDERSTAND – parents are a major cause of the distortion that we see when we look at ourselves..

AND – basically what parents are saying in this distortion is, “I reject you, I disown you…”

In a chapter called; ‘How Parents Shame Us’ Smedes writes;

“A man I know disowned his children. When I learned what he had done, I thought that he had decided not to leave his children any of his money, of which he had more than his share, after he died. But this is not what he really meant. He meant to purge them from his life, make it official that he despised and rejected them.

Disowning a child is the sure way to get a child to feel that he is not worth owning. The tragedy of being disowned is compounded by the fact that very decent people disown their own children. They may not do it totally, and they may not tell anyone about it. They may do it in bits and pieces, with facial expressions, chiding voices and pious rebukes, without ever saying, “I disown you.” However they get the message across to their children as clearly as if they announced it in the newspaper.”