Scary Movie: Fear Of Abandonment #2 Series

Where does Compassion enter your life?

We all have a really scary movie playing in the theater of our minds. An unredeemed imagination which unmonitored will take us into all kinds of darkness and despair.

Fear is defined as an anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or experience.

<slide 1>

Psychology tells us there are 5 basic fears:

1. Extinction. Fear of death.

2. Mutilation or loss of bodily structure, losing the integrity of our body, mind, natural function. Fear of bugs, spiders & generally creepy things.

3. Loss of autonomy: fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or controlled.

4. Separation: fear of abandonment, rejection, loss of connectedness, someone giving us the 'silent treatment.'

5. Ego-death: the Fear of humiliation, shame, or any mechanism of profound self-disapproval.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201203/the-only-five-basic-fears-we-all-live

Over this message series we will briefly touch on each Psychology’s top five as a point of awareness because awareness is the first step in solving the problem. Fear is a problem because it keeps us from what God has created us for. Last week, we briefly touched on the fear of humiliation, shame and disapproval. I purposed that the fear of being ashamed or embarrassed should never stand in the way of what God has called you too because as a people of God we will always be in conflict with the world. This week we continue our scary movie by talking about our basic fear of separation which includes abandonment, rejection and loss of connectedness. We all experience this in different ways. The blue collar worker experiences this when the plant picks up, moves and cancels the social contract of working hard means the company will take care of you. The newly divorced experience this in the demands of raising children alone, never getting a break and wondering where all their friends have gone. The empty nester experience it, when the person they realize the person they have been cohabitating with for the past 25 years is more of a stranger than a soul mate. The elderly experiences it when the spouse of 30, 40 or 50 years passes away.

This last one reminds me of the plot from the Gran Torino. This is not a family friendly movie.

The main character, Walt Kowalski played by Clint Eastwood, is angry for a lot of reasons. He is having to deal with a world that has dramatically changed and he’s alone, afraid and dying. Yes. His bravado is there but he is living in fear. It is only through a strange twist of events and his relationship with a couple of teenagers in the neighborhood that he eventually lowers his guard enough to experience the power of connection to overcome the fear he once lived in alone.

It reminds me of a story from the book of Daniel. Have you been reading Daniel? As you recall, last week I challenged everyone to read just three chapters of Daniel each week for the length of the series. In chapter six, we find Daniel 60 years after he was first put into service for the King Nebuchadnezzar. The king is dead and the King’s son has been overthrown and Darius is in charge. Daniel has once again been made known to the king because of his ability to do what is right, connect with God and explain the supernatural. However, this power comes with the price of jealousy and so once again, Daniel is forced to choose his faith or his loyalty to a king. Of course, he chooses his faith by bowing to the one true God instead of an idol made by man. This time it results in overnight stay at the lion’s den. Literally, he was thrown into the Lion’s den and if he survived, he would be freed. Listen to the text from Daniel 6:17-20. (read it)

A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel’s situation might not be changed. Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions’ den. 20 When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?”

Darius had come to know the one true God through a relationship with Daniel. It’s a similar scene to last week’s barbecue story from Chapter three but in this instance, Darius is the one catching the vision of God’s ability. It is also the story of how the fear of abandonment is overcome through the power of both relationships and compassion.