Responding To Rejection And Hostility Series

RESPONDING TO REJECTION AND HOSTILITY

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: 2 Samuel 10:1-19

Supporting Texts: Romans 12:18-21, Matthew 5:44, Psalm 35:1, Isaiah 54:17, Proverbs 26:4-5

INTRODUCTION:

2 Samuel 10 presents a significant lesson in how acts of kindness can be misinterpreted and even met with hostility. David, moved by compassion, sent envoys to express sympathy to Hanun, the new king of the Ammonites, following his father’s death. Instead of receiving them honourably, Hanun listened to wicked counsel and humiliated David’s servants—an act that ignited war.

This chapter is not just about battle, but about handling rejection with wisdom, responding to dishonour without retaliation, and standing firm in the face of provocation. Even good intentions can be misunderstood, but how we react in such moments reveals the depth of our maturity and trust in God.

When we are wrongly treated despite good motives, we must allow God to vindicate us. David’s response shows restraint, order, and confidence in divine justice. This chapter teaches us to guard our hearts against bitterness, and trust God to fight when men wrongly oppose us.

1. GOOD INTENTIONS ARE NOT ALWAYS WELL RECEIVED

David’s genuine act of kindness was repaid with insult.

a) David sent messengers to comfort Hanun (2 Samuel 10:1-2)

He wanted to show loyalty and sympathy.

b) Hanun’s advisors stirred suspicion and misjudgement (2 Samuel 10:3)

They misrepresented David’s purpose and sowed distrust.

c) Not everyone can interpret kindness without suspicion—guard your heart

Even sincere gestures can be twisted by toxic minds.

d) Misjudgement can destroy potential alliances and bring unnecessary conflict

Suspicion destroys what humility could have built.

Biblical Example: Jesus was misunderstood and falsely accused despite His pure intentions (Mark 3:22).

2. HUMILIATION CAN LEAD TO DIVINE CONFRONTATION

David’s servants were shamed, but David responded with dignity and wisdom.

a) The envoys were humiliated—half their beards were cut and their garments torn (2 Samuel 10:4)

This was an act of deep insult in that culture.

b) David told them to stay in Jericho until their shame was covered (2 Samuel 10:5)

He gave them space to heal before re-entry.

c) Wise leaders protect the dignity of the wounded

He didn’t expose them in shame, but sheltered them.

d) When you are insulted for doing good, let God determine the timing and tone of your response

You don’t need to react in the flesh—let heaven vindicate.

Biblical Example: Nehemiah faced mockery while rebuilding but stayed focused (Nehemiah 4:1-6).

3. HOSTILITY GROWS WHEN FEAR REPLACES HUMILITY

The Ammonites sensed the gravity of their error and overreacted.

a) They realised they had made themselves offensive to David (2 Samuel 10:6)

Rather than repent, they prepared for war.

b) Fear-driven actions often compound conflict

Instead of reconciliation, they escalated the tension.

c) Pride and panic can destroy the opportunity for peace

The right response to guilt is humility, not more aggression.

d) Leaders must teach their people to own faults, not defend foolishness

Hostility can often be disarmed with humility.

Biblical Example: Pharaoh hardened his heart in fear, worsening Egypt’s plagues (Exodus 9:12).

4. GODLY LEADERS RESPOND STRATEGICALLY, NOT EMOTIONALLY

Joab’s leadership shows us how to face confrontation with courage and divine trust.

a) Joab divided the army wisely when surrounded (2 Samuel 10:9-10)

He chose order, not panic.

b) He encouraged his brother and rested in God's sovereignty (2 Samuel 10:12)

"Let the Lord do what seems good to Him."

c) Courage is not the absence of fear, but trust in divine backing

Joab’s calmness inspired confidence in others.

d) Strategy, prayer, and courage are God’s weapons for hostile environments

Wise responses win more than emotional outbursts.

Biblical Example: Paul stood before hostile governors with calm wisdom (Acts 24:10–16).

5. GOD CAN TURN HOSTILITY INTO VICTORY

Though surrounded, Israel triumphed because God was with them.

a) Both the Ammonites and Syrians fled in defeat (2 Samuel 10:13-14)

What began as insult ended in victory.

b) When your cause is right and your heart is clean, God will fight for you

The battle was not provoked, but God still granted triumph.

c) Divine backing silences the enemy’s confidence

Israel’s victory was a result of God’s intervention.

d) God rewards integrity, humility, and wise restraint with lasting peace

David didn't start the war, but he finished it honourably.

Biblical Example: Mordecai and the Jews triumphed over Haman’s evil plot (Esther 9:1-5).

CONCLUSION:

Rejection, especially after genuine efforts to do good, can be deeply painful. But 2 Samuel 10 shows us that our response matters more than the offence itself. David teaches us to process dishonour with patience, protect the hurting, and allow God to determine the right response. God fights for the honourable and grants victory to those who remain aligned with Him.

When hostility comes without cause, don’t allow bitterness to take root. Let God be your defender, and His strategy will bring not only victory—but peace that remains.