Resolving Conflicts In The Church

RESOLVING CONFLICTS IN THE CHURCH

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Matthew 18:15-17

Supporting Texts: Romans 12:18, Ephesians 4:2-3, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13

INTRODUCTION:

Conflict is an inevitable part of any community, and the Church is no exception. As believers from diverse backgrounds and personalities come together, differences in opinion, expectations, and behaviour are bound to occur. What distinguishes the Church, however, is not the absence of conflict but how conflict is handled in a godly and redemptive way.

God’s desire is that His Church remains united, healthy, and spiritually strong. The enemy thrives in division, but the Spirit of God works in harmony and love. Unresolved conflict can hinder prayer, limit spiritual growth, and damage our witness to the world. Therefore, learning how to resolve conflicts biblically is essential for every believer.

This message will equip us with practical steps rooted in Scripture on how to address conflict with wisdom, love, and humility. It will also help restore relationships and maintain unity in the body of Christ.

1. CONFRONT WITH LOVE AND HUMILITY

Conflict should be addressed promptly, lovingly, and in the right spirit.

a) Speak the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)

Honesty should be wrapped in compassion, not harshness.

b) Approach with a Humble Heart (Galatians 6:1)

Do not come with pride or accusation, but with a desire for restoration.

c) Avoid Gossip and Backbiting (Proverbs 16:28)

Take the issue directly to the person, not to a third party.

d) Choose the Right Time and Place (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

Address issues in private and with wisdom.

Biblical Example: Nathan approached David privately and respectfully to confront his sin (2 Samuel 12:1–7).

2. LISTEN CAREFULLY AND SEEK UNDERSTANDING

True resolution comes from sincere listening and empathy.

a) Be Swift to Hear, Slow to Speak (James 1:19)

Listening attentively can diffuse tension and prevent escalation.

b) Understand Before Being Understood (Proverbs 18:13)

Seek to know the full story before reacting.

c) Avoid Assumptions and Misinterpretations (Proverbs 25:8)

Clarify intentions instead of jumping to conclusions.

d) Stay Calm and Self-Controlled (Proverbs 15:1)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir anger.

Biblical Example: Solomon’s wisdom in listening to both women’s stories led to truth and peace (1 Kings 3:16-28).

3. PURSUE PEACE AND RECONCILIATION

God expects His people to go the extra mile to restore unity.

a) Strive to Live at Peace with All (Romans 12:18)

As much as lies within you, do your part to resolve the issue.

b) Forgive One Another as Christ Forgave You (Colossians 3:13)

Release the offence and choose reconciliation.

c) Don’t Keep a Record of Wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Love doesn’t keep score; it seeks restoration.

d) Involve Mature Believers When Necessary (Matthew 18:16)

Bring others in only when resolution cannot be achieved alone.

Biblical Example: Paul helped reconcile Onesimus with Philemon as brothers in Christ (Philemon 1:8-21).

4. PROTECT THE UNITY OF THE CHURCH

Unity is precious and must be preserved with intentional effort.

a) Unity Commands God’s Blessing (Psalm 133:1-3)

Harmony among brethren invites the presence and favour of God.

b) Avoid Divisive People and Conversations (Titus 3:10)

Warn a divisive person once or twice, then have nothing to do with them.

c) Promote Grace, Patience, and Understanding (Ephesians 4:2–3)

Bear with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit.

d) Pray for One Another Regularly (James 5:16)

Prayer heals wounds and softens hearts.

Biblical Example: The apostles resolved the conflict over food distribution among widows through godly leadership (Acts 6:1-7).

CONCLUSION:

The Church is a family, and like any family, conflicts will arise. But we are called to handle them differently—with love, patience, truth, and grace. Conflict is not meant to divide but to refine us and draw us closer in Christ.

When we follow God’s method for resolving conflict, we not only protect the unity of the Church but also glorify God in how we relate with one another. Let us be peacemakers and bridges of healing in the body of Christ.

PRAYER POINTS:

1. Lord, give me the grace to confront conflict with love and wisdom.

2. Help me to be a peacemaker and a builder of unity in the Church.

3. Heal every broken relationship in our midst, O Lord.

4. Let every spirit of division be uprooted from our church in Jesus’ name.

5. Teach us to listen, forgive, and walk in humility always.