Releasing Control

Stuart Briscoe tells the story of a young man who reached his 18th birthday. To celebrate, he asked his Dad for the car keys to go out with his friends. His Dad said, "It’s a school night; we want you home by 10:30." The young man said, “I’m 18 years old now. Nobody can tell me what to do.” And the father said, “OK, it is getting hard to tell you what to do. But I’m keeping the keys and you can walk to be with your friends.

The next day he went to football practice at school, but he got there late. When the coach saw him coming out on the field, late, he told him to do 30 push-ups. And he said, “Coach, I’m 18 years old now. Nobody can tell me what to do.” And the coach said, “OK, if that’s the way you want it, you’re off the team.”

With extra time on his hands, he got a job after school. But one day the boss told him to sweep up a mess and he didn’t think that should be part of his job, so he said, “I’m 18 years old now. Nobody can tell me what to do.” And the boss said, “That’s your choice, but if that’s your attitude, you’re fired.”

There was this one major paper that was due in his hardest class and he really didn’t want to do it. So he put it off and he put it off. And when the teacher asked him for it, you know what he said, “I’m 18 years old now. Nobody can tell me what to do.” The teacher said, “That’s your choice, but you get an F for the course.”

Now it seemed like everything was going wrong for him in his hometown. So he joined the army in hopes of having some adventures and having freedom from all the people that bugged him at home. On the third day of boot camp, the sergeant ran them to exhaustion and then told them to do another 50 pushups. And he said, “Listen sergeant, I’m 18 years old now. Nobody can tell me what to do.” And I’m not telling you what the sergeant said because I don’t use that kind of language. But it was not a happy day for this young man.

And, of course, it is very appropriate for an 18 year old to be learning to think for himself. Every teenager has the developmental task of branching out, making a healthy separation from his or her parents. And wise parents encourage that branching out and do their best to support it.

But all of us, at every age, need to learn to submit to others at the appropriate time. This is something practical. Every group needs people to bend their individual wishes in order to help the group fulfill its common goals. Those who never learn how and when to be submissive will spend their lives banging into walls as they fight battle after battle that is totally unnecessary. So submission is a very practical thing to learn.

But it is also a very deep spiritual lesson. I am convinced that if someone has never learned to submit to their fellow human beings, whom they can see, then neither have they learned to submit to God, whom they can’t see.

And so, the Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Ephesian church, was sure to give them the instruction to be in submission to one another. Actually our text translates it, ‘Be subject to one another,” but the thought is the same. Please stand for the reading of God’s word. We’ll read Ephesians 5:15-21, but our emphasis this morning is just on verse 21.

15 Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, 16 making the most of the time, because the days are evil. 17 So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts, 20 giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Submission, to be subject to one another, runs against the grain of our culture. Old timers loved the Frank Sinatra song, “I did it my way.” Burger King promises that when we come in for a burger they’ll let you “have it your way.” You can’t do it your way and be in submission to someone else at the same time. You can’t.

And the result is a world of chaos, like someone trying to herd a flock of cats, with every group activity required endless negotiation and complication.