Reconcile: Conflict Transformation Series

This 3-part message series entitled Reconcile. Jesus once said, the scriptures say an “eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil. But if someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”(Matt 5:38-39) In this simple statement is a profound truth, conflict will happen. As long as humans exist on the planet, there will be struggles between us for a whole host of reasons. We can choose to fight it, confront it or be changed by it. If we choose the later, then we recognize that Conflict can be an intense journey toward a new path of holiness, revelation and reconciliation.

It is this journey, we will begin discussing today. I would like to propose that conflict can lead us to be more like Christ – to be holy.

Now Conflict is all around us. From deflate gate to evening news, from talk radio to the latest television show called SLAP, we thrive on conflict. All sports is about conflict. Football is all about controlled conflict. The language of winning and losing has formed our American Psyche. I believe it was in Talladega nights meant as a funny line but it’s so true: if you’re not first, you’re last! However, what if all that teaching was wrong. What if there is a third way? A third way that teaches us not to think of conflict as something that needs to be resolved but experienced as well as learned from.

This transformational approach recognizes that conflict is the norm. It also recognizes that it can be either destructive or constructive. Destructive conflict is that of forced change, revenge and manipulation of others. Constructive conflict happens when we chose a different understanding of our differences with others as a catalyst for growth.

Like so many of Apostle Paul’s writings, Paul Lederach writes in THE LITTLE BOOK OF CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION that it’s helpful to think of conflict in terms of human body parts as a reminder of the human journey or walk we are on. It will take all of you to adequately traverse the path of conflict. He begins with the head.

BODY SLIDE WITH THE WORDS BELOW: HEAD, HEART, HANDS AND FEET

Head:

All growth begins with an understanding. Conflict is not something to shy away from but recognition that it is a means for growth and action. We often recognize conflict as peaks and valleys. For some, conflict seems like it will never end or we are thankful we never have to don’t have to deal with it. However, this kind of thinking never actually gives us the perspective needed to learn from it. It’s only when we can take a step back and see the larger picture that we recognize that there are patterns of energies, times, and even whole seasons of conflict.

A transformational approach to conflict seeks to understand particular episodes within a greater pattern so that they can be better understood and change can take place in the immediate and over a life time.

Lederach then moves to the heart. Our lives are found beneath the surface in the less visible aspects of our connections and relationships

2. Heart:

The issues over which people fight are important and require creative responses. Our relationships represent a web of connections that move from within us out into the world. It is inevitable that conflict will flow from our lives. It is just such awareness that calls us to increase understanding of ourselves, others and our social structures. So that we can respond, innovate and change. We must become more willing to be Christ like if we are ever going to use conflict as a catalyst for growth.

We then move to our third appendage our hands. Our hands are capable of building things, able to touch, feel and affect the shape of things.

3. Hands:

Constructive has two meanings: one-it’s rooted in a verb to build, shape and form and two-meant to be a positive force. Change is a process and by its nature requires a lot of effort! As we begin to understand the process, we can identify how a process is altered and build in a way in which the desired transformative outcome comes to pass. Conflict can be constructive in shaping who we are and what we will become.

And finally, Lederach uses our legs and feet as an image to remind us to keep our expectations of conflict transformation in the realm of reality.

4. Legs and feet:

Conflict must be understood as a process whereby we become who God has created us to be. We will never be more than human. It is the best and worst we will ever be. As such, our conflict transformation process must be viewed as a as a continuous, evolving and developing strategy for relationship development. We will never fully arrive but it can reduce the violence in our lives and increase justice by our direct interaction through dialogue that assists in creating positive outcomes.