Rebuilding The Marriage Border

The reason that the biblical borders of marriage are broken is because individuals, men and women, have refused to take the responsibility that is upon them to maintain a healthy marriage. It's not that we don't know what to do: it's that we've not willing to do what God's asked us to do. In the United States, we've got marriage books. We've got marriage seminars. We've got marriage podcasts. We've got marriage Sunday schools. We've got marriage groups. We've got all of these things to support marriage. And when it comes to having a healthy marriage, we're just not willing to do the work. You need to know that anything you're going to be good at in life requires effort. Good golfers are good golfers. Why? Because they work at golf. They don't hit 30-foot putts on accident: they practice that. Good musicians are good musicians because they practice their instrument. Good businessmen are good businessmen because they work at being good businessmen. Good husbands and good wives did not become good husbands and wives because they were the lucky ones. They worked at doing what was required in order to build a good family.

So in order to help us understand the broken borders of marriage and what we need to do, I'm not going to go to the song of Solomon. I'm not going to go to Psalms or Proverbs where all of the love verses are found. I'm going to look at the life of Nehemiah, because he was a wall builder. And I want you to see the principles that he used in his construction project and allow them to bless you in your construction project when it comes to building a good family, because the borders of the family in this nation are broken. And by God's grace, by the time this service is over, we will all understand what our responsibility is to see them rebuilt in America today.

Let's read Nehemiah 2:17. If you're there, say, amen. "Then I said to them, 'you see the distress that we are in, how Jerusalem lies waste and its gates are burdened with fire. Come let us build the wall of Jerusalem: that we may no longer be a reproach'. And I told them of the hand of God, which had been good upon me, and also of the king's words that he had spoken to me. So they said, 'let us rise up and build'. And then they set their hands to do this good work".

Heavenly Father, let your word come alive in us today: that we, like the people in Jerusalem in Nehemiah's day, would set our hands to do the good work of building godly families. Let the power of the Holy Spirit carry this word past this sermon and this sanctuary into our hearts and lives: that we could change the future of this nation for the cause of Christ' and righteousness' sake. It's in Jesus' name that we pray and ask.

And all of God's children said, praise the Lord. You may be seated. I like what Nehemiah 2:18 says. It says, "They set their hands to do good work". "Good work". Notice that there's a distinction that Nehemiah makes about the work that's being done. It's not just any work: it's good work. One of the things that I believe is important, before we can even begin to expect marriages to get better, is that we have got to make a decision that we are going to do good work. Because whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not, right now each and every one of us are working on our marriage relationship.

You say, "Well, I'm single". Don't worry: you're still working on your marriage relationship. You're either doing good work, getting ready to be a good spouse: or you're doing bad work, getting ready to be a problem for somebody else. Single people say, "I'm waiting for marriage to complete me". Believe me, Jerry McGuire lied. If you are a broken person before you get married, marriage is not going to fix your brokenness. It's just going to break down what's already broke. So when you listen to this message today about marriage, don't tune me out because you don't have a ring on your finger. Recognize that these principles are required of all of us.

Some of you say, "Well I've been married 40 years". Hallelujah. You have the secret to helping others succeed in their marriage. Don't tune me out because you think you've already got this thing fixed. You're surrounded by people who need your help getting things fixed. So make yourself available to them. But we're going to understand, through Nehemiah's life, the principles that God wants us to apply to our life. But the first principle is we have got to do good work. Say that with me. Good work. Because if we don't do good work, we're going to tear down instead of build up. We're going to use our words, not to encourage, but to create bitterness and strife. We're going to weaken rather than strengthen the relationships that God has given us.