Real Men Do Cry

In our reading this morning the Apostle Paul is writing to the church he had planted in Philippi and he says, ‘Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven…’

Big Boys don’t’ cry

We’re not very comfortable with tears are we. We’ve grown up within a society that’s tells us that tears are a sign of weakness, tears are for those who are soft. When I was growing up, we were taught that "Real men don't cry." “Grow up”, “stop being a baby”, "Stop crying" so eventually we do! And we become hard, and callous, and cold.

When was the last time you cried? What is it that will make you cry? The death of a loved one, news of a tragedy, a betrayal by someone we love or thought loved us, pain, profound incomprehensible sorrow, failure.

Tears can be very telling. They can tell you what you love, what you regret, what you desire, what you miss. And, of course, tears tell you what breaks your heart. When was the last time you cried?

Tears are biblical

But you know tears are very biblical.

Job 16:20 – ‘My eye pours out tears to God’.

Isaiah 16:9 – ‘I weep with the weeping of Jazer; I drench you with my tears, O Heshbon and Elealeh’.

Jeremiah 9:1 – The weeping prophet – ‘O that my head were a spring of water, and my eyes a fountain of tears, so that I might weep day and night for the slain of my poor people’.

Psalm 6:6 – The psalmist cries out, ‘Every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping’. In Psalm 42 he says, ‘my tears have been my food day and night’ and then in Psalm 119, ‘my eyes shed streams of tears because you law is not kept.’

And the Apostle Paul, who was supposedly a woman-hating, doctrine-making, emotion-forsaking. Hard as nails, cold as ice; Gospel preaching Machine - was a man who was never very far away from a good cry for the sake of the Gospel.

According to Acts 20 the Apostle Paul went to Asia ‘serving the Lord with all humility and with tears’. To the Church at Corinth he declared ‘I wrote you out of much distress and anguish of heart and with many tears’. And here to the church in Philippi he says, ‘as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ…’

Paul’s ministry of tears

The Apostle Paul was someone who often found himself ministering through tears. No doubt he cried tears of pain and tears of heartache and tears of love. And there’s something about Paul’s tears that show us what it means to take the gospel seriously?

Those precious truths about salvation and sin and grace and repentance should be connecting with our emotions. Because they’re also connected to real people whom we care about. And people mattered to Paul. And so often he cried with them and he cried over them and he cried for them.

Presumably he cried with gratitude for the way God had poured out his saving and transforming grace. Presumably he cried with a burdened heart for those who would not turn from their sin. Presumably he cried with joy in parting company with brothers and sisters in Christ who had become such close friends.

And so this morning, I find myself asking: ‘when was the last time that the spiritual growth and spiritual well-being over those around me made me cry?’ When was the last time the spiritual wellbeing of my family and friends brought me to tears?

When Paul wrote to ‘Timothy’ he said ‘night and day I remember you in my prayers, and I remember how you cried…’

I want to remind you of your tears

Could he write the same about you do you think? Could the Apostle Paul, write to you and say, ‘I want to remind you of the tears you have shed for your ministry. I want to remind you of the tears you have shed for your neighbour. I want to remind you of the tears you have shed for the injustice of the world…’ Or are there no tears for you to be reminded of because, after all, real men don’t cry – or in the words of the Four Seasons song ‘Big girls don’t cry’.