"counseling Those In Sin" Biblical Counseling Pt.4 Series

Once the problem has been accurately diagnosed it is the counselor’s responsibility to restore the person.

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught by a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.[1]

The word translated “restore” is katarizo, which means to repair or make fit. It was used in the Gospels of mending the fishing nets. In Luke 6:40 it refers to the process of training a disciple. It means to take someone from where he is to where he ought to be – repairing what is wrong, and making him a point of spiritual fitness.

This command is revolutionary. Most people do not respond this way to sin in others. If our car breaks down we spend time and money to get it repaired and back to proper working order. But when a brother or sister in Christ breaks down, how often is our response gossip, distain, judgmentalism, ignoring the problem, or sweeping the person out to the fringes of our lives, rather than spending the time and energy and resources necessary to restore the person? How often we are quicker to junk a servant of the living God than a broken down car.

God commands restoration. And the first step in restoring a person who has been overtaken by a sin is to bring the person to repentance. If he is already repentant this step can be skipped, but if the person is continuing in unrepentant sin, Scripture gives clear instructions on how to stimulate a repentant heart.

“Show him his fault”

Matthew 18:15If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault,[2]just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

The counselee may be unaware of guilt because of ignorance of God’s commands, self-deception, or lack of self-examination. Bringing such a person to realize his guilt involves two parts: exposing the wrongness of the action and persuading the person of guilt.

Expose the wrongness of an action:

Ephesians 5:11,13Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. … everything exposed by the light becomes visible….

1 Timothy 5:20Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.

Persuade the person of his guilt:

1 Corinthians 14:24But if an unbeliever or someone who does not understand comes in while everybody is prophesying, he will be convinced by all that he is a sinner and will be judged by all….

2 Timothy 4:2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

Titus 1:9He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

Be Careful!

This is not a time for clumsiness or thoughtlessness. It is misguided to think that just because the person is in sin, it is OK to be rude, insensitive, or unnecessarily harsh. In many ways this is the most strategic moments in counseling. When you first present the person’s fault to him he can go one of two ways – humble repentance or defensiveness and denial. If something in your manner pushes him toward the latter, you have just made his condition much worse. Once he has denied the sin or begun making excuses for it, his heart has begun moving in the wrong direction. And for him to be restored that movement must be arrested and then reversed. Pushing a person toward a bad response by having a poorly thought out approach is the height of cruelty. Use the golden rule. When someone sees a sin in your life, wouldn’t you want that person to present it to you in a way that would make you open to receive correction, rather than in a way that would be likely to push you toward a response that would make your sin permanent?

Rebuke

Once the sin is exposed, most Christians will respond with sorrow and repentance. If the person refuses to repent, however, it is time for rebuke.

Luke 17:3“So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him.”

The Greek word here (epitimao) means to rebuke, censure, warn, or punish. This term is aimed more at the will than the mind. It goes beyond persuading the person he has done wrong. Rebuke has the goal of persuading someone to change. A rebuke is not a suggestion; it is a command that calls for action (Mt.8:26).

Admonish

The Greek word for admonish is noutheteo[3]. It means to instruct or warn in an effort to correct behavior.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, warn(noutheteo)those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.