Proverbial Wisdom

INTRO.- More quips and quotes.

- Almost everything comes to him who waits, including gray hair, false teeth, and a potbelly.

- Everything wears out sooner than it used to, including your nerves.

- The house in which a man is the boss is probably still under construction.

- A hospital should have a recovery room next to the cashier’s office.

- If you can express yourself clearly, you should be especially careful not to enter politics.

- Things are so tough these days that even hitchhikers are willing to go either way.

- A pest is someone who goes out of his way to get in yours.

- The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is sincerity, whether you mean it or not.

- Anybody who says this is a man’s world is probably not too bright about other things either.

- There are two things that seem impossible to do: put toothpaste back in the tube and get off a mailing list.

- Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

- Everything is changing so fast today that even nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

- A small town is usually divided by a railroad, a main street, two churches, and a lot of opinions.

- You’re ready the leave the hospital when the food begins to taste good.

- It seems the less a fellow knows the more positive he is about it.

- In the good old days, people stopped spending when they ran out of money.

- A good friend is someone who can tell you all his problems but doesn’t.

- Everything gets easier with practice except getting out of bed in the morning.

- Teenage boys will drive anything except a lawnmower.

- A henpecked husband washes the dishes even when they use paper plates.

- Anyone who knows all the answers isn’t up to date on the questions.

- You’re not necessarily nuts if you talk to yourself – only if you listen.

- It’s surprising how many people will agree with you if you just keep your mouth shut.

- It’s getting to where things ain’t cheap even at half-price.

- The first thing a man makes in his workshop is a mess.

- There are three kinds of traffic: urban, suburban, and bourbon.

- There are no new sins. We just keep rerunning the old ones.

- A budget is an orderly way of discovering that you can’t live on what you’re earning.

- Youngsters always brighten up a home. They never turn out the lights.

- Some men embrace their wives as if they’re afraid of being penalized for holding.

- America is achieving a high standard of poverty.

- Gossip is something that you must hurry to tell someone else before you find out it isn’t true.

- Before you give somebody a piece of your mind, be sure you can get by with what you have left.

- Balance your budget – rotate your creditors.

- Before you have an argument with the boss, you’d better take a good look at both sides – his side and the outside.

- One trouble with TV is that a fellow has to wake up before he can go to bed.

- Nowadays, just about everybody is putting his money where his mouth is – to kiss it goodbye.

Now to the book of Proverbs.

I. WORDS

10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

ILL.- Once when introducing Thomas A. Edison at a dinner, the toastmaster mentioned his many inventions, dwelling at length on the talking machine. The aged inventor then rose to his feet, smiled and said gently to his audience: “I thank the gentleman for his kind remarks, but I must insist upon a correction. God invented the talking machine. I only invented the first one that can be shut off.”

Some people are hard to shut off. What do you do when you can’t shut off someone? Leave their presence, I suppose. And I know what some of you are thinking: if the preacher gets too windy or too long, can we leave?

If you can’t leave a person’s presence I guess you can try to ignore them or else you can listen and suffer. All of us need better listening skills, but some people are definitely hard to listen to.

Some people are very windy, but we never think we are, for some reason. But all of us need to rethink our speaking record. Conversation comes naturally for most of us and this is why we talk so much.

ILL.- Here are some quotes in regard to our speaking.

- Some people have gear trouble. They talk in high gear and think in low.