(CORRRRRNY) THANKSGIVING JOKES
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside
Why do the pilgrims’ pants keep falling down?
Because their belt buckle is on their hat.
Psa. 103:1 ¶ Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Psa. 103:2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits
Why are we commanded not to forget all his benefits? Because we are prone to do just that – we often forget all His benefits that He has bestowed upon us!
I spent some time this week thinking about some of those benefits that God has given me – and I want to share my “top ten” list with you. They are things that we can praise God for and be thankful for regardless of our circumstances if we have submitted our lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Let’s remember His benefits to us!
10. God’s mercies are new every morning. (Lam. 3:19-25)
Lamentations 3:19-25 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
Haven’t you ever had the experience of going to bed at the end of a long, difficult, day – just glad to have it over. And then to wake up the next day and realize that the past is gone and you have a new day to start! His faithfulness is great! It is never failing! His mercy toward those who seek Him is without end!
9. I do not need to earn God’s love. (Rom. 5:7-8)
Rom. 5:7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.
Rom. 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
I have always been a “people pleaser”. I often worry what people think of me and whether they will really like me and because of that I can try to earn people’s love and acceptance through trying to “perform” for them. But it never works – when I approach relationships like this they just never seem to reach a deep level.
I’m so glad that when I come before God I can come just as I am. That he created me and loves me. He knows my weaknesses and my failures as surely as he knows my strengths and my victories. But he does not despise me for my weaknesses or love me because of my strengths. He just loves me, and I can go to him to find rest.
Matt. 11:28 ¶ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matt. 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matt. 11:30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
8. I live in a free, prosperous country.
All over the world right now, millions of people are wondering where their next meal will come from.
Millions have never had the opportunity to travel more than a few miles from their home.
Millions have never had running water, or access to health care, or the ability to go out to dinner at a restaurant.
Millions have only the clothes on their back – and have never owned a pair of shoes.
I could go on and on.
We have so much. But sometimes we get in the dangerous game of comparing ourselves to others around us who have more – and we can become unhappy that we only have 2 cars when someone we know has 3. We can become unhappy with 3 bedrooms when someone we know has 4.
May we never become so spoiled that we take for granted all the simple luxuries we enjoy every day.
TRANS: And on that note, I’m thankful for…
7. Kit Kats.
(have ushers pass out kit kat bars to everyone who wants one)
(take a moment to thank God for soldiers protecting our country and to pray for them)
6. This world is not my home. (John 14:1-3)
Sometimes I can get overwhelmed – not so much because of my own troubles – but by the heaviness of the world’s suffering. The news is almost always depressing. And even though my life here in the good ol’ USA is very easy, I do get troubled by the amount of problems and brokenness I see around me.
So I take heart in the fact that this world is not my home. Oh – it is for now, and for as many days as the Lord gives me – but I won’t be here forever!
Jesus said,
John 14:1 ¶ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
John 14:2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
We can give thanks that Jesus is waiting to welcome all those who love Him with their lives into a much better place!
5. I can read a Bible anytime I want.
First of all it is privilege to be able to read. (I try and get my children to be THANKFUL they can go to school but it’s a hard sell!)
But beyond that, I am thankful that I live where Bibles are plentiful and easy to come by. Had I been born in West Africa, I most likely would never have had a Bible in my hands.
Even if I was a Christian in China today, I would be lucky to be able to have a Bible all to myself. What a privilege we have to be able to turn to God’s word for information and inspiration for life.
4. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Heb. 13:8)
Everything in this world changes so fast. Relationships seem to come and go. Promises made by government officials seem to go unfulfilled time and again. But there is one in whom I can always depend. Jesus Christ.
Heb. 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
I can read about what he said and did – and I can trust that what was true then is still true now.
When he says “I am the way and the truth and life – no one comes to the father but by me” – I can trust it.
When he says: “If anyone is thirsty let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” It’s still true.
When he is described as “full of grace and truth” – it is just as true as is was 2000 years ago!
3. I have been given the Holy Spirit. (Eph. 1:13-14)
Eph. 1:13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
Eph. 1:14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession — to the praise of his glory.
The fact that I have been given the Holy Spirit means so much it’s hard to know how to say it in just a couple of minutes. But I’m especially thankful that the Holy Spirit works in me to help me act and think like Jesus. The longer I try and serve God the more I realize how limited my own resources are. I simply cannot do anything of real value when it comes to ministering to others. But with the Holy Spirit, I can see real fruit from my ministry. And I can take comfort in the fact that when my strength to do right is gone – I can lean upon the power of the Holy Spirit!
2. I am not alone.
God has blessed me with so many people who support me and help me keep on serving the Lord. Though it is difficult – I know I am never alone.
I’m thankful first of all for my wife Ann. She helps keep me on course and is my rock that I can come to no matter how I’m feeling.
I’m thankful for my children who bring so much laughter and insight into my life. Their smiles and their company make coming home a great thing each day.
I’m thankful for my fellow staff members – for Jonathan, Miley, Kristen. And for the network of CTK pastors who are brothers and encouragers to me.
I’m thankful for every person who I’ve been in a small group with over these past 5 years. You’ve helped strengthen me and reminded me what ministry is all about.
I’m thankful for every small group leader at our church who faithfully ministers to those God has brought under their care.
Being a Christian is hard. Being a pastor is hard. But it is easier when you know you have people surrounding you who love you and are on your team.
And so – I’m very thankful that I’m not alone.
1. Jesus Christ died for me. (1Tim. 1:15-16)
1Tim. 1:15 ¶ Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners — of whom I am the worst.
1Tim. 1:16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Without Jesus’ death and his sacrifice in my place – I really wouldn’t have anything else to give thanks for. And neither would you.
I am so thankful that even though he knew everything about me he still died in my place, opening up the way to eternal life for me. I am so thankful that he accepts my gift to Him of myself in exchange for an abundant life on earth and eternal life in the future.
CONCLUSION:
So there you have it – my Thanksgiving Top Ten list for 2006. I’m sure you could thing of many other things to be thankful for. In fact I hope you will think of many other things, and that you will respond by giving thanks to God for each and every one.
Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.”
May your heart be encouraged with the knowledge that no matter what circumstances bring, you can still find many reasons to be thankful, and to “forget not all His benefits.”
