“Fellowshipping Together”
Welcome everyone, and if you’ll take out your teaching tool and open your Bible to Acts 2, I’d like help you understand some important things about the concept of fellowshipping. Or another word well use this morning interchangeably is belonging. What does this word mean? Why is it important? How does it work?
Few other words are as synonymous with what we’re doing in these 40 days as fellowship. Belonging. After all, those words are very similar to community, aren’t they? Yet, lots of people don’t know what they really mean or how to find that real sense of belonging. Connectedness. Community.
Think about it….
...Some think its donuts and coffee.
...Some think its living in close proximity.
...Some think its two guys in a boat. (That’s a joke!)
God says, as we’ll see in Acts 2, that fellowship – community – belonging – is really and simply healthy relationships with the people around me and the God above me! It’s horizontal and vertical. And it’s on various levels. Now we’re all different, so this looks different from person to person, group to group. We don’t all have the same closeness, and that’s okay. We don’t all have the same personalities or ways of expressing community and fellowship… and that’s okay, too. But we all do have one common need: to have healthy relationships! Everyone needs to know they belong and everyone needs to know how to belong.
You see, unfortunately we’re not taught how to have healthy relationships. You never had a class growing up in school, not a single class on how to have good relationship, and yet that’s the most important thing in life. It’s far more important than anything else: How to have good relationships, how to have a relationship with God, and how to have a relationship with each other. And I doubt even your parents taught you how to have good relationships. They may have not even known themselves. So they never sat you down and said, “Here are the secrets, the building blocks to good relationships; and here are the things that destroy them.” I’ve talked to so many people who’ve gone through a divorce, who have no idea, “Why did it happen? What really caused it to take place?”
So this morning I’d like to show you, from Acts 2, what a healthy relationship looks like and what you can do to have them, both vertically and horizontally. With your Bible open to Acts 2, let’s read, starting in verse 42….
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
What a picture of community! Did you see all the references to the concept of fellowship in these verses? Let me review them for you, okay. There are actually six:
vs. 42 – “fellowship”
vs. 44 – “together”
vs. 44 – “in common”
vs. 46 – “together”
vs. 46 – “together”
vs. 47 – “their number”
What brought this about? How did it happen? To help you understand the process of building healthy relationships, let’s picture this morning two people who desire to get to know each other better. They want to have better fellowship. Community. So start drawing on your teaching tool the same diagram you see behind me and follow along with me this morning as I layout for you some steps to take to build better relationships.
One of the first things you need to do is this: cement your relationship with the bonding agent of Jesus! In fact, notice something really intriguing – all of the things in verses 42-47 occur after the phrase in verse 41: “they accepted his message.” ‘Accepted’ means to believe, take as true, own! Is that what you have done with the message of Christ? Have you established the proper relationship with him first and foremost? Until this happens, your relationships will, at best, be second rate. Why? Because he is the inventor of relationships. He started them in the beginning, and knows best how to make sure they work. So when we follow his plan and have his Spirit helping us, we have much better relationships. When we don’t, well, it’s a mess made by man!
In fact, would you just write down this little phrase somewhere on your teaching tool? “The bond of Jesus increases my sense of belonging.” That’s right – knowing you belong to God is the place to start. It is the eternal security many people are looking for and need. Let me say it again – it starts with God. That’s where learning how to relate begins.
Understand this: Without that fundamental issue settled, you can only relate to other people at a superficial level. Without God and the Holy Spirit, you don’t connect below the surface. Why? Because there are different operating systems in place.
Let me show you some verses that bring this out….
Amos 3:3 (read)
What’s your answer? You may be tempted to answer NO, but the answer is actually “YES, but not very far and not very well.” It’s all about how deep do you want your fellowship to be?
2 Cor. 6:14 (read)
I realize many folks think this verse talk about marriage, but it doesn’t really do that – it talks about relationships in general. The point being that you can’t expect to be intimate, close and personal with someone until there is a fundamental agreement about the “message.” Sure, you can get along with them, but you won’t progress on this fellowship spectrum until you settle the Jesus issue first.
Here’s my question: Are you on the same page with God? Are those nearest you on the same operating system as you and God?
#2 … But there’s something else in this passage that helps us understand how to have healthy relationships. It’s the behavior of giving. Do you see the priority this church placed upon giving?
“All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need...”
And not only here, but also in Acts 4 it says “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.” Giving was everywhere in the early church!
As much as giving builds healthy relationships, there is something that tears them down. And I want to be very clear about what destroys healthy relationships. Let me share with you the number one enemy of community, of relationships, of fellowship: Selfishness. That’s right – SELFISHNESS destroys relationships. Now this is the number one enemy. It is the number one cause of conflict, the number one cause of arguments, and the number one cause of divorce. It is the number one cause of war and conflict. In fact, James 4:1-2 says this, “What causes fights and quarrels, don’t they come from your desires that battle within you. You want something but you don’t get it.”
Now it’s very easy for selfishness to creep into a relationship. You know when you start a relationship, you work real hard at being selfless or being unselfish, like in dating and “Oh here, please, you go first.” You know? And you are very unselfish at the start of a relationship, but then as time goes on, selfishness begins to creep in. Would you agree we put more energy into building than into maintaining relationships? Yeah, we do.
In their book, Staying Close, Dennis & Barbara Rainey talk about the five stages of a married cold. Ever heard of this? If not, you’ll identify in no time!
The first year: “Baby darling, I’m worried about that sniffle. So I’ve called the paramedics to rush you to Methodist Hospital for a checkup and a week of rest. And I know you don’t like hospital food, so I’m having gourmet meals brought in for you.” That’s the first year.
Second year of a marriage: “Sweetheart, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’ve arranged for the doctor to make a house call. Let me tuck you in bed.”
Third year of a marriage: “You look like you’ve got a fever. Why don’t you drive yourself over to Walgreens, get some medicine, I’ll watch the kids.” You know, very magnanimous.
Fourth year: “Look, be sensible. After you’ve fed and bathed the kids, washed the dishes, you really ought to go to bed.”
Fifth year: “For Pete’s sake, do you have to cough so loud? I can’t hear the TV. Would you mind going in the other room while this show is on? You sound like a barking dog.”
You know, we just stop making the effort. It’s easy to slide into selfishness, isn’t it? Think about it like this – If there was more courting in marriage, there would be fewer marriages in court.
At our home, two things have to happen before we go to bed: Check the front door and make sure the front porch light is off. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I got in bed about three seconds before Julie did. As she got in bed three seconds later, she asked, “Is the front porch light off? And is the front door locked?” Guess what I did? I pretended I was asleep. I’m laying motionless, and I whisper as if I’m in la-la land, “I don’t know.” It had only been three seconds, c’mon! She gets out of bed, and she goes and checks everything. There’s a word for me: ‘Dufus.’ And some other words as well, right? Truth is, it was selfish, pure and simple. I wanted her to do it because I didn’t want to.
Actions like that over and over and over build up walls…they lay bricks upon feelings and soon we find ourselves living with someone we really don’t like. It’s not a community at all…we don’t belong at all. Why? Because we acted selfishly and it destroyed our relationship.
Now think about it – selfishness comes easy. It is very natural. Which is why people ask me quite a bit after doing something really dumb to a relationship, “Why do I act like that?” Two reasons:
1. It’s natural.
Now it’s interesting that a lot of people say, “You know, if there is a God, why is there evil in the world?” I don’t have a problem with that one. Know why? It’s because we’re all selfish and when I want what I want and you want what you want, it causes conflict, wars and a lot of other stuff. I want to do what I want to do, and that hurts people. I don’t have a problem with why there is evil in the world. The real issue is: Why is there good? Why is there good in the world? There is only one reason there is good in the world: Because of God. Without God, there would be no good because by nature, I am not altruistic. By nature, I think of me first, not you, and so do you.
Darwin called it ‘Survival of the Fittest’, and it is the natural thing people do – we think of ourselves and protect ourselves and care for ourselves. The only reason people do good in the world is because of God. It is God that motivates us to do good, and if there were no God, there would be no good. He is the only explanation for good in the world because we are naturally selfish.
2. It’s cultural.
Now not only are we naturally selfish, we are bombarded by a culture that feeds our self-centeredness. Do you realize that every advertisement that comes out caters to your self-centeredness? Its things like “Have it your way,” “We do it all for you.” It’s all about you. I’ve got to think about what’s best for me. “Have it your way,” and you know the most recent one is a Sprite commercial, “Obey your thirst.”
Now if that isn’t a juvenile attitude toward life, a self-centered attitude, “Obey your thirst.” Think about that. That says: Do whatever your urges are. Forget about if it hurts anybody. Forget about if it bothers anybody. You’re just an animal. So obey your urge. Obey your thirst. Live for yourself, regardless of what it does to everybody else.”
Or one that’s a little bit more sophisticated, but it’s the same thing, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Now think about that. So, it’s okay for me to cheat on my wife as long as I do it in Vegas. Its okay for me to be immoral and rotten and do anything I want to – total selfishness – because it’s going to stay in sin city.
But you know what? When we are in Christ, he gives us the power to give, not take. To be selfless, not selfish. And nothing builds community…fellowship…healthy relationships like giving! Unselfishness makes you feel like you belong quicker and better than anything.
In fact, would you write this down: The behavior of giving increases my sense of belonging!
God knew this, and he tells us in a couple of other passages the very same thing. Look at these verses with me: Philippians 2:3-4 and Galatians 6:9-10.
So let’s look at our chart…what happens when we focus on making sure we’re giving? We start getting closer to each other and to the ideal of fellowship. To belonging. That sense of community increases. As they say in Lion King, “Can you feel the love tonight?”
And as we develop a better relationship with God through faith (trusting) and as we develop a better relationship with others through giving, something happens: [SHOW EXPLOSION] What I call “Fantastic Fellowship” or “Big-Time Belonging”
This is possible, but you have to be willing to believe the right way, and behave the right way.
CLOSING – I’m going to ask you to re-write both these words somewhere on your feedback card. Go ahead…I’ll wait on you.
Now let me be basic with you – which do you need to do today? Now circle it! As I pray and close our teaching time, will you pray with me? I’m going to pray for both sets of people here, and as I do, you join me silently as I pray the prayer specifically related to you, would you? When we’re done, I’m going to ask you to turn that same card in so others can pray for you as well. That’s right – when you leave, will you turn that in and let our staff pray for you all week? Trust me, I need the prayers, too.
Let’s pray.
PRAYER TO BOND WITH JESUS
PRAYER TO BEHAVE LIKE JESUS
Amen.
