A Brother Who Sins Against You
Matthew 18: 15-20
1. There is a big difference between knowing about God, and actually knowing God.
2. There are many people who know about God, but don’t actually know Him.
a. We can read and study the Bible.
b. We can have all kinds of documents highlighted.
c. We can pray and even attend Church.
d. We can have fellowship with other believers.
3. All of these things are very good to do, but they don’t guarantee that we actually know God.
4. So then, how can we be certain that we actually know God?
5. The essence of really knowing God is manifested in relationship.
6. Eugene Peterson, author of The Message Bible and Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, says and I completely agree that, “We discover that we do not know God by defining Him, but by being loved by him and loving him in return.”
7. God has loved us by sending his son, Jesus Christ, into the world to save us from the wages of our sinful state. John 3:16 tells us this:
a. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
8. The question that remains for us is, “Do we love God?”
9. Jesus said, in John 14:21:
a. “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
10. Therefore, we can be sure that we love God if we are obeying the commands and teachings of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.
11. Matthew 18: 15-20 provides some very clear and practical directions that Jesus tells us to follow when a Brother Sins Against Us.
12. This passage is the topic and focus for this message.
13. Follow along with me as I read Matthew 18:15-20 (I am reading from the NIV):
a. 15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ’every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. 18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d] loosed in heaven. 19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
14. As we read this passage we may tend to focus on being vindicated for wrongs being done against us.
15. I believe, however, that there is a greater issue of concern at stake; and that issue is the need to maintain unity within the body of Christ.
16. What good is the Body or Christ to the world, if we don’t look or act any different than the people that are still in and of the world?
17. 1 Corinthians and Ephesians 4 are packed full of guidance on avoiding division and maintaining Unity in the Body of Christ.
18. People will not be drawn to the body of Christ, if they do not see the love of Christ being displayed among its members.
19. While our flesh may be screaming out for justice and vindication, when we are wronged, we must remember that there is a bigger picture.
20. We must remember that above all else, the primary goal is to show the love of Christ, and bring people into relationship with God through Christ.
21. We must also remember that God has not yet avenged the crucifixion of Christ, so what right do we have to be avenged for every wrong committed against us.
22. Jesus has given us this orderly process to follow to prevent division and maintain unity in the body, so that when sin does occur its damage to the body is minimized if not completely avoided.
23. We must also remember that if we do not follow these steps, and follow them in the exact sequence indicated by Jesus; then we do not love Jesus or at the very least we are not acting out of love for Him.
24. We must also acknowledge that if we do not follow these steps, then we are deliberately undermining the Holy Spirit who dwells with us as believers in Christ Jesus.
25. Now, let’s go through and look at these steps and the significance of each one.
26. STEP 1: If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.
27. While there may be a temptation to go tell other people, Jesus is calling us to go speak directly to the person who sinned against us. In addition to that, Jesus is telling us to do it in private. There are many reasons for this:
a. First of all, when a Christian commits a sin, the Holy Spirit within that person is already at work to convict that person of their sin.
b. God is all about restoration and reconciliation, and that is what we should be working toward.
c. That means the person could already be working up to confessing their sin. If we do not go directly to the person, and we go tell other people we have just started a bigger problem. Gossip will spread like wildfire, and we have just committed a wrong-doing of our own.
d. Talk about the problem of GOSSIP, and its insidiousness and destruction.
i. As tempting as it may be, we need to train ourselves to be able to stop people from gossiping to us. We need to be able to stop it dead in its tracks.
ii. A good technique to use is to ask the person if they have talked to the person that they are talking about.
iii. Also, a good rule of thumb to use is that you should not get involved in any discussions with people about other people, if you are not either part of the problem or part of the solution.
e. In addition, our motives for telling other people may not be pure. We need to analyze our own hearts to determine why we are telling other people, when Jesus tells us not to do that.
f. In any event, once we talk to the person they may be relieved that we raised the issue, they may apologize and the issue may be easily resolved.
g. Second, the person may not have any idea that they have sinned against us. It is quite possible that when confronted with the issue, they may apologize, and ask to be forgiven.
h. In either case, going to the person in private makes it easier for that person to admit their wrong-doing, and to make things right again. It also saves that person from public embarrassment.
i. Additionally, when we talk to the offender face-to-face we choose our words carefully, and adjust our tone of voice. We will be less like to exaggerate any recollection of the offense, as we may do if we talk to someone who has no knowledge of what really happened.
j. Of course, you should pray before you approach the person. In addition, you should ask if it is alright to pray with the person before you begin the discussion.
k. Make sure that you don’t approach the person if you have any doubt that your heart is not in the right spirit. The spirit of reconciliation so to speak.
l. So if things work out, and I believe that in most cases they will, then the issue is resolved, the body of Christ is spared being damaged, and the brothers are reconciled to each other.
m. If this doesn’t work, however, Jesus gives us another step to take.
28. STEP 2: Take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.
a. This action emphasizes the mounting seriousness of the person’s action, and encourages them more strongly to admit their fault.
b. In addition, it provides competent testimony, as required by many scriptures, and in so doing sets the stage if the next step must be taken.
c. The damage and trouble that has plagued the Church by failing to obey the simple rule that a charge against another person must be supported by the testimony of two or three others.
d. In this case, worldly courts act more righteously than the body of Christ many times.
e. If this increased pressure doesn’t work, then Jesus gives us another step to take.
f. Again the issues of praying and being of the right heart are applicable.
g. If someone doesn’t respond at this point, it can be a very serious issue. We need to realize that they could be under a significant Spiritual Attack, and that they are being heavily influenced by the enemy.
h. We must all work to stay strong, so that we don’t become a pawn in the hands of the enemy and be used by Satan to hurt the body of Christ.
29. Step 3: If the offender still refuses to listen, confess and apologize, then tell it to the Church.
a. Now we need to address what constitutes the Church in this case.
b. The Church here should be the body of believers that both the offender and the offended are part of, if applicable.
c. It is also important to note that the Church is responsible to hear the case, not a civil court. Christians are forbidden to go to law against another believer (1 Corinthians 6:1-8).
d. It is also important to note that it takes a very healthy and spirit led church to handle this process correctly.
e. Again a time of intense prayer should be implemented.
f. If this still doesn’t work, Jesus has given us another step to take.
30. Step 4: If the offender refuses to listen even to the Church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
a. The most obvious meaning of this expression is that the offender should be viewed as being outside the sphere of the Church.
b. Although they may be a true believer, they are not living as one, and should therefore be treated accordingly.
c. Though still in the universal church, the offender should be barred from the privileges of the local Church.
d. Such discipline is a serious action, and the purpose of this is to bring the offender to their senses and cause them to confess and repent of their sin.
e. Until that point is reached, believers should treat the offender courteously but should also show by their attitude that they do not condone the sin and that they cannot have fellowship with him as a fellow believer.
f. We also need to be mindful that to treat a person as a pagan or a tax collector means to pursue them, to love them and encourage them to repent from their sinful ways and come to Christ.
g. The Church should be prompt to receive the person back as soon as there is evidence of godly repentance.
31. Verses 18 and 19 are linked with the preceding text. They say:
a. "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be[a]bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[b] loosed in heaven.” "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”
32. When an assembly, prayerfully and in obedience to the Word, binds disciplinary action upon a person, that action is honored in heaven.
33. Likewise, when the disciplined person has repented and confessed their sin, and the assembly (the Church) restores them to fellowship, that loosing action is also ratified by God.
34. The question often arises, “How large must an assembly be before it can bind and loose, as indicated?
35. The answer is that two believers may bring such matters to God in prayer with the assurance of being heard.
36. Verse 20 says:
a. “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
37. This verse needs to be interpreted in light of its context.
38. It does not refer primarily to the composition of a NT Church in its simplest form, nor to a general prayer meeting, but to a meeting where the Church seeks the reconciliation of two Christians separated by some sin.
39. Also, to meet “in his name” means to meet by His authority, in acknowledgement of all that He is, and in obedience to His Word.
