Godly Wisdom in the Family
Ephesians 5:22-6:9
INTRODUCTION
1. Up to this point Paul has been describing how we can "have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called" – Eph. 4:1
2. We have seen that conduct "worthy of the calling" involves:
a. Walking in unity – Eph. 4:1-16
b. Walking in truth and holiness – Eph. 4:17-32
c. Walking in love, walking as light and walking as wise – Eph. 5:1-21
3. In what might appear at first to be an abrupt change of direction, Paul begins to describe how
various family members are to conduct themselves – Eph. 5:22-6:9
a. The responsibilities of wives – Eph. 5:22-24
b. The responsibilities of husbands – Eph. 5:25-33
c. The responsibilities of children – Eph. 6:1-3
d. The responsibilities of fathers – Eph. 6:4
e. The responsibilities of servants – Eph. 6:5-8
f. The responsibilities of masters – Eph. 6:9
4. But the subject matter is really not so abrupt as it may appear, for Paul mentioned earlier...
a. How the church is to "make known the manifold wisdom of God" – Eph. 3:10
b. How we are to walk in "wisdom" - Ep 5:15-17
...and it is through family relationships that we can often do this more successfully than in any
other way!
5. How can this be? Well, it is through our families that we interact so much with the society in which we live...
a. Through marriage we immediately come into contact with another family (our "in-laws")
b. Through children we develop relationships with those in their schools, their neighborhood,
etc.
6. Thus it is through our families we have great potential to demonstrate the wisdom of God...
a. The same principles that underlie the gospel message (submission, love, sacrifice, obedience,
honesty, fairness) are to be displayed in our family relationships
b. By example, then, we can demonstrate in our families what is truly good and right (i.e.,
God’s will), and prepare others to be receptive to the gospel message!
[Thus Paul is not abruptly changing direction, but continues to talk about those sort of things which are crucial to having a "walk worthy of the calling with which you were called".
Consider, then, how those who "walk worthy" conduct themselves in regards to...]
I. MARITAL RESPONSIBILITIES (5:22-33)
A. THE DUTY OF WIVES... (22-24)
1. They are to submit to their husbands in everything...
a. Just as they are to submit to the Lord ("as to the Lord")
b. Just as the church is subject to Christ
2. The reason: the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is head of the church
a. Any time you have organization that is functional, you must have some chain of authority
b. In the family, it is God’s Will that the husband be the head of the wife, and
that parents be over their children
3. Here is an opportunity for wives to demonstrate the wisdom and value of an
important principle in God’s will: that of submission!
a. Jesus taught by both word and example of the importance of submission –
John 13:12-17; Mk 10:42-45
b. Indeed we all are to submit in one way or another - James 4:7; Eph. 5:21
c. Through their submission, wives prove that God’s will is best in such matters!
B. THE DUTY OF HUSBANDS... (25-30)
1. They are to love their wives...
a. Just as Christ loved the church, i.e., with a sacrificial love designed to bless
and benefit their wives
b. Just as they love their own bodies, i.e., with a love that nourishes and
cherishes their wives
2. Just as the wives have the opportunity to demonstrate God’s wisdom concerning
submission, so husbands are given the opportunity to demonstrate Christ’s love...
a. As the head over His church, Jesus rules as a "benevolent monarch"
b. Some think such a concept as "benevolent monarch" is impossible (as per the saying, "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely")
c. But when a husband exercises his authority as head of the family with the
kind of love Jesus displays while ruling over His church, they demonstrate
not only the possibility, but the wisdom of a benevolent monarchy!
[Indeed, the "marriage" between a man and a woman can reflect the relationship that exists between Christ and the church (31-32). But this can happen only if...
1) A husband exercises his authority with love (33a)
2) A wife submits to her husband with respect (33b).
Just as there are "marital responsibilities", so there are...]
II. FAMILIAL RESPONSIBILITIES (6:1-9)
A. THE DUTY OF CHILDREN... (1-3)
1. Children are to obey their parents in a way that honors them
2. There are certainly temporal benefits for such obedience ("that it may be well with
you...")
3. But there are also spiritual repercussions – Col. 3:20
("for this is well pleasing to the Lord")
4. And by their example, children can show the value of obedience to the commands of
God
B. THE DUTY OF FATHERS... (4)
1. Fathers are charged both negatively and positively..
a. DON’T provoke children to wrath (i.e., discipline without love)
b. DO bring them up in the "training and admonition" of the Lord (i.e.,
discipline tempered with love)
2. In the world, people usually fall into two extremes of child-raising:
a. Discipline without love (child abuse)
b. Love without discipline (permissiveness)
3. But when fathers properly administer both love and discipline, by example they show
how God raises His own children in the family of God - cf. He 12:5-11
C. THE DUTY OF SERVANTS... (5-8)
1. In the First Century A.D., servants were an intricate part of many households, which
may explain Paul including instructions to them and masters in this and parallel
passages - cf. Co 3:18-4:1
2. Christians who were servants were expected to exemplify the proper kind of
obedience required of all Christians...
a. Obedience with fear and trembling - cf. Ph 2:10
b. Obedience in sincerity of heart, as to Christ Himself
c. Obedience with good will, as to the Lord
d. Obedience with an understanding that the Lord is an impartial Judge
3. In this way even slaves could demonstrate by example what true obedience was
according to the Will of God
D. THE DUTY OF MASTERS... (9)
1. Those Christians who had slaves (like Philemon) were charged to treat their servants
in very special ways:
a. "do the same things to them", i.e., their treatment of slaves should be
governed by the same sort of principles given to the servants...
1) "with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ"
2) "not with eyeservice...but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God
from the heart"
3) "with good will...as to the Lord, and not to men"
4) "knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive
the same from the Lord..."
b. In particular, Christian slave-owners were to give up threatening and to
remember that God shows no respect of persons
2. By their example, masters could demonstrate the proper exercise of authority, and
reveal much about how our Master in heaven rules over us in the kingdom of God!
CONCLUSION
1. How we conduct ourselves in our marriage and family relationships can greatly effect our
efforts to make known "the manifold wisdom of God"...
a. Marriages and families that are "dysfunctional" serve only to believe the claims we
make about the gospel and its power to transform lives
b. Whereas marriages and families based upon the teachings of God’s Word can speak
volumes as to the value of principles inherent in the gospel; such principles as:
1) Submitting to God and others in authority
2) Exercising authority with sacrificial love
3) Obeying those placed over us by God
4) Developing others through training and admonition, not intimidation
5) Rendering service that is sincere, not hypocritical
6) Exercising authority with justice and fairness
2. So as we endeavor to "walk worthy of the calling" that we have in Christ, let’s not overlook
those areas where it is most imperative to have a "worthy walk": in our marriages and
families!
