SERIES: HOW CHRISTMAS HEALS OUR HURTS
“Disappointment’s Deliverance”
Matthew 1:18-25
A few years ago, I was approached by the leadership of a small group Melissa and I were in. They had questions and concerns regarding choices Melissa and I were making, specifically, Melissa’s working outside of the home (as a woman) and my not earning the majority of the finances (as a man). There was also a question of why it seemed we didn’t share about ourselves in this group. We felt questioned, attacked, invalidated and hurt. To say the least, we were disappointed in our friends since we had trusted them. We had spent many evenings fellowshipping together, and this was such a blind-sided blow to us, we didn’t know what we were going to do or what was going to happen.
The Bible speaks to life’s disappointments, even in the story of Christmas. With the words, “…but before they came together, she was found to be with child…”
In the Jewish culture, for a man and a woman to become husband and wife they had to go through three stages:
1) The pre-arrangement = parents & terms
2) The betrothal = 1 year waiting period that was as strong and binding as marriage itself.
3) The marriage = the groom leaves his home to go and get his bride and in a community processional, the two become one in ceremony and then back to his home where it is consummated physically.
During the betrothal stage, the bride and groom have an entire year to… think, wonder, pray, laugh, be scared, and dream about their wedding day over and over again. They wonder what each other will look like on that day. They are not to see each other so they send letters via friends back and forth. “Will he like me?” “Will she think I am handsome? Will she like the place I have made for her?” “Will he think I am pretty? How many children will we have?”
The one year waiting period’s purpose was a discovery process to learn of the woman’s virtue. If she was faithful and a virgin, the one year testing time would reveal it.
During that year, Matthew records these words, “…but before they came together, she was found to be with child…”
Could you imagine what disappointment Joseph had come to his heart? One could wonder what the words, “Mary is pregnant!” must have come like to his hopes and dreams.
Some of you have felt the weight of such words. Perhaps when you heard your teen say, “I’m pregnant,” or heard your spouse say, “I don’t love you any more, I’m leaving you,” or heard one of your parents say, “I won’t be able to see you for some time.” And those words hit like a sledgehammer.
Joseph felt the words upon his heart of disappointment. That first Christmas came with disappointments, but it also came with deliverance.
With the words, “Mary is pregnant,” not only came disappointment, but questions.
Joseph was lef to ask, "What about Mary?" Her story was too remarkable to believe. Joseph loved her, but the pregnancy without another man story was just too much for him to believe. Was she pregnant or wasn’t she?
So what was Joseph to do about it? He contemplated and planned and re-planned what he should do. He could marry her and bring disgrace to himself. He could go public with the divorce and turn her over to the officials who would kill her for her sin of unfaithfulness. He could also refuse to marry her, and divorce her, but do it honorably and lovingly by not going public. And this is what he was thought he would do.
Then, where would that leave Joseph? What would he do after this? What plans should he make and what other woman would he want to try waiting another year for?
But then a change was on the way. God didn’t leave Mary or Joseph out there on a limb. He didn’t abandon them. Something special was planned on the cosmic calendar! Something you don’t want to miss it. Take it from Joseph: a prescription for our own wounded hearts –healing to the blows from disappointments.
Joseph’s questions are handled with God’s answers. God sent the same angel who spoke to Mary (since he was familiar with the area) to speak with Joseph. God had a good word for Joe, and you can be sure He has a word for you too! If you have disappointments, every time I say Joseph, let it be your name too!
You might be smarting from some disappointments, they might be fresh they might be old. But here are some encouraging words for you, Answers To Heal Your Disappointment!
Don’t be afraid to do what’s right.
“Don’t be afraid to take Mary to be your wife.”
This was the best option to begin with. And it is what Joe really wanted anyway! But it seemed to him to not be possible because of what he didn’t know! And God knew that. And in His loving manner, God came to Joseph and revealed to him the truth!
Listen, we should never be afraid to do what is right! When we know the right we ought to do, trust that God has an angel for you! Go slowly, go humbly, go listening, but GO! And trust that the Holy Spirit of God will stop you or change your direction if your path isn’t right!
DON’T BE AFRIAD TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT! If you can do that, disappointment is on its way out and healing on its way in!
I didn’t feel like going back to that small group of people, but I did. I knew the right thing to do was to seek reconciliation and to seek the path toward it; and to not go would be to not do what was right. What was going to happen? I didn’t know. But God did. I just went in faith!
And God tells you to forgive, let go and move on! Forgive the past church leaders. Forgive past church pastors. Forgive, let it go, be reconciled, be healed, and move on. Forgive your parents, your kids, your spouse and let go of the disappointment. Why? Because God says it is the right thing to do! Don’t be afraid to do what is right!
2) God has it all under control.
“What is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
God has it all under control! God had the situation in hand! Mary’s story was true, Joseph could do what he wanted to do, marry his betrothed, and God would be glorified!
You won’t get to do what you REALLY want to do if you don’t do the right thing God wants you to do!
Joseph didn’t have to concern himself anymore with thinking about what he needed to do about it. The options he had been looking at were taken care of by a better option—God’s plan!
As you plan what to do and search for answers, and think and ponder what is the right thing to do, do it with prayer and before the Lord. Everything you do, thinking and planning included, do it with the Lord!
And because Joseph was planning to do the right thing, God steps in and makes His will known! God is able to make His will known to you! God wants us to obey His will even more than we are ready to!
God has a Word just for you!
God’s word tells me if a brother had sinned against me to go, tell him his fault, and if he listens to you, you have gained a brother!
I am to GO and to TELL. God’s promise is if he listens to me, I WILL GAIN A BROTHER!
So we went to small group. Things got worse. More hurt was delivered, to us and to others. But we went and we were committed to GO! Because God’s word is his will for us and we must trust in it more than how we feel!
Things began to fall more and more apart, but as they did, they also became more revealing. People’s hearts were starting to get to a place where they realized what was happening wasn’t what they wanted to be happening, and what they were doing was wrong and contributing to the hurts of others. Two weeks later, we met again and several spoke their hearts and I was able to share, and as we prayed over each other and spoke of our hurts and of the love we wanted to receive and to give, God did a healing in my heart! Not just with disappointments that were there in that group, but disappointments from the past, and with present things in other areas of my life!
As we held hands and prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit minister in my heart like I hadn’t felt for a long time! It was good, it was hard, it was tearing and renting, but it was good and it brought healing to me!
Don’t be afraid to do what is right.
Don’t forget, God has it all under control! Go with the Holy Spirit! When we do that, it brings healing for our hurts of disappointments.
3) There is more for you to do.
“…you are to give him the name JESUS…”
A few weeks later, we met with the leader of the group who had originally spoken to me. As I mentioned, he was a good friend of mine before this whole dissension started. We needed to meet to go over whatever needed to be gone over to bring healing to our hearts. I loved him, and missed loving him and being loved by him. And I was disappointed that that was taken away from me!
So we met, and we shared and we are planning to do more and whatever it takes to be reconciled to each other again! To me, that brings glory to God when we can do that!
There will always be more for you to do! But disappointments have a way of blinding us to what that is. We have to trust God, pray, listen to the Holy Spirit, believe that God knows more about the situation than we do, do what we know is right, and go in faith believing that the feelings will catch up with us!
The angel said, Mary will have the baby, Joe will name the baby, and the baby will save his people!
When you and I stay in our disappointments, we rob the team—the church, of our contributing force to make a difference in the lives of those around us.
God has given you more to be doing for him. It doesn’t matter where you have come from or where you’ve been or where you are going. God will always have more for you to do. There will always be more; this will always be true. It is a promise of God!
His gifts and callings are without repentance! Once He’s called you He is never sorry that He has done it!
Don’t be afraid to do what is right.
Don’t forget, God has it all under control.
And God will always have more for you to do for Him.
This has brought healing to my hurts. It is just one way Christmas heals the hurts of our hearts.
Are you struggling to leave your disappointments behind? Are you finding it hard to do what is RIGHT? Has your faith been faltering and fainting at the truth that God has it all under control and He knows more about the situation than you do?
Do you want to lean on the Holy Spirit? Open up your heart to Him. He wants to fill you more than you want to ask Him to!
Have you been seeing the more God has for you to do?
Isn’t it time to let go of your disappointments?! They named him Jesus, and he can deliver you from your disappointments if you ask him to!
Let’s gather at the altar and seek this Jesus!
