9/11 Babies—5 years later. ABC News Diane Sawyer:
Showed a gathering of women who found themselves both pregnant then widowed when 9/11 came crashing down
Today, those babies look even more like the fathers they never met, but now they shoot questions like arrows: They want to know what happened to daddy.
When Holly O’Neill’s daughter asked her what happened to her father, O’Neill gave her a timeline.
"I sort of gave her a very simple chronology," she said.
"’When we came home, you were in my belly and we were both really excited and there were some bad men and they set afire to the building that your daddy worked in,’" O’Neill said she told her daughter. "He went to heaven that day along with a lot of other daddies and mommies."
one mother told her little one: “You are the kiss father left behind”
one girl said her daddy “lives with angels” in fact, he is “an angel fireman”
To have a loving and close-knit family is precious. To know daddy is in heaven is priceless
During Sunday School in August, we spent some time discussing what “family” is.
Our memories can be a mixed bag (maybe refer back to memories of the 9/11)
• some memories are hilarious or hopeful
• some tragic and painful
The Bible has a mixed bag when it comes to depicting families, too.
• Cain killing Abel
• Abraham sending away Ishmael and his mother into the desert
• Laban lying and deceiving Jacob—who himself had ripped off the birthright of his brother Esau.
• Hannah being ridiculed by her husbands other wife
• David’s son that tried to kill him, and on and on
Of course there are many good moments, too
• Noah and his sons working together and being saved by God on the ark
• The special connection and love and admiration between the bride and groom in the song of Solomon
• Esther sacrificing her own safety for her family and people
• God giving his promise of eternal life on down through the ages through family: Eve, Abraham, David and to Joseph:
• yes, Joseph, the honorable man who loved his betrothed Mary, and wouldn’t stand to let her suffer shame, even when the gossips tongues were wagging about her pregnancy.
• Aquila and Priscilla doing ministry together in the early church
Quote: The family is an inherently ambivalent image of disappointment and struggle on the one hand, and of hope and blessing on the other (DBI, 265)
As I look at plucky little Monroe Christian Church, I am blown away by
• all the families young children that we have—bursting at the seams (some of the pregnant moms may be literally!)
• and yet, as many of those we have, we have a lot of variety, too!
o (maybe just point out the different couples, without drawing specific attention to difference) older couples, solo couples, singles, single parents
What blessing and responsibility encompasses each family!
No doubt each has their hopes and dreams, as well as daily reality checks (how tough family life is—and I have mine!)
And as I look at plucky little Monroe Christian Church again, I am also reminded that we are—as a church, and assembly, a “congregation” of believers: WE are a family too!
EPHESIANS 2:19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household
HOUSEHOLD is just another term for family. Related. Bound. Tied Together.
And so many of us find ourselves members of two kinds of families: the “earthly ones” we were born or adopted into, and the “heavenly one” to which it is also said that we were born into (Nicodemus) and even adopted into (Ephesians).
In Sunday School, we wrestled with the idea of which one is most important. I really don’t like to push that “one vs. the other” scenario. But that wrestling did lead me to the concept that we will look at today: FOREVER FAMILY
Our Earthly Families are significant because it is through them that we come into this world and come to know this world, for good or for ill. God set it up that way.
• your family may not look like another family in a lot of different ways, but whatever you come to call your family, is, in the end, your family.
o sometimes we hear talk like “this team is my family”
o the church is my family
o Time spent with my family was mostly “hell” thank goodness for my best friend’s family, they showed me what “true family” could be like
o but whether you were adopted, or
Our Earthly Families are significant, because many of us have responsibility to lead and guide and protect the younger ones in our care:
• God ordained and directed
• State/Legally binding
• Socially expected
Everyday life happens in family.
And yet, we have to remember: there is MORE to life, than just this life on earth.
Much as I have been sharing with my friend in Germany that I would not be a good friend unless I shared my faith with him—what kind of friend would withhold the offer of eternal life—
What kinds of families are we leading, if we never let the eternal break in to the temporal
meaning, we carry on with life as though there is no afterlife
• we don’t daily pray for our kids or teach them to love God
• husbands and wives don’t make a habit to encourage each other in the Lord
• brothers and sisters caught up in competition rather than being caught up in loving each other according to the so-called “golden rule.”
Is there evidence of the eternal in our family? Do we carry on as if it all ends when we die? Do we desire to be a temporary family or a forever family?
Likewise, the church—like Monroe Christian Church, or New Life Christian Church, or Stewart Road Church of God, or St. Mary’s Catholic church—
--the church is called to be God’s household, his family, not just now, but for eternity: a true forever family.
• at SDCC, some teens attended there whose families were not interested at all in things of God
o some of us knew we needed to help the church reach out to these young people as a type of faith family. To become a family that could teach them how to love God and others—and to actually just LOVE THEM for who they were, when their own family wouldn’t or couldn’t.
o In eternity, unless their family came to know and love God, in eternity the family they would be part of would be their family of faith: their local church and members of God’s family world wide and throughout time.
o the church is their forever family.
I think the term “forever family” is appropriate and attractive in putting together these two images:
1. the earthly family
2. the heavenly family or faith family or God’s family
Focusing too narrowly on the first one can lead us to only think about temporary or earthly pursuits, AND we neglect those that God has joined together by faith
Focusing too narrowly on the latter can lead to neglect of responsibility and opportunity we have with our earthly families.
Yet,
When I look at my family—and you yours—and I think “forever family,” it widens my perspective and make me ask: am I doing what I can do to make my precious Maya, Natasha, Dylan, Hayden, and Angie a TRUE forever family?
When I look at my church—Monroe Christian Church—and I think “forever family” I am reminded that God put us together and we ARE family, and I want to do what is within my opportunity to build up and enjoy this family.
When I think “Forever Family” I am reminded the only Future that family has is under God.
And in Christ, the two become one. The two families become one family, in Christ. Let’s look at 5 Characteristics of “Forever Family.”
Headed by Christ
Eph 5:23 Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Eph 2:19 God’s household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone
What this means is:
they must look through the earthly family to see the heavenly one. “If you were Abraham’s children,” Jesus told the Jews, “then you would do the things Abraham did” (Jn 8:39 NIV).
In this passage Jesus points the Jews to the God who must be their Father, and to himself, the one who can show the way to that Father (Jn 8:42). He points to the one everlasting family-a spiritual family, the family of God.
Many Jews:
• thought they had it made—salvation was in the bag—because of their physical decadency from Abraham. And they missed Jesus entirely. No Jesus. No blessing. No promise. They gloried in their heritage and traditions and thought that those brought salvation
Our culture may misplace family priorities in different ways
• for one family, their priorities lay in keeping up their large and successful farm
• for another, it may be taking pride in the strong football tradition (or any other sport or talent) of their sons
• yet another may live to watch their favorite TV shows and have a smoke
Any one of those pursuits may be fine, but if Christ is not the head of the household their family will not be “forever family”
Likewise, any church that does not humble itself before Christ in any way, is in danger of not being “forever family.” (Rev 2 and 3 for details)
The minute you are born in to Christ, he IS the head of his body, of which you are a part.
A second Characteristic of a Forever Family is that it
Operates in Love
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
The verse “Christ is the Head” is in the context of showing how a husband is to love his wife, and she him.
Our relationships are marked by love. That is our “MO” Modus Operandi.
Is there any doubt about that?
Love will affect our
• tone of voice
• time we spend on each other
• the way we discipline our children
can not tolerate gossip or discord and strife between members of our spiritual family.
I Cor. 10. We should not tolerate destructive talk and actions over against another brother anymore than allowing our kids to back talk or trash talk. Don’t allow it!
When you hear talking within your own earthly family against the spiritual family--. It is your duty to confront that kind of talk and allow only what builds up.
Angie saw a remarkable story of a family with ca. 14 children . .. .
A third Characteristic is that Forever Families will be committed to making
Meaningful Memories to build Faith
Angie has a book somewhere that is called “Memory Makers.” It pages are filled with ideas that families can do to make memories. We all have memories of family life often a mixed bag:
• one friend of mine’s family used to sit around for hours at night around the table smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee and talking—often punctuated by lots of laughter
• Angie can remember her family taking many a bike ride on sunny afternoons
• I remember uncle Leon hoisting me up on his knee and breathing such highly toxic alcoholic fumes on me when he talked I thought I’d pass out
• One tradition Angie started in our family was to write Christmas memories on a strip of paper and put them in a covered tin. Each Christmas you reach in a read about Christmas’s past.
You probably are already thinking of yours. The Bible speaks a bit to making not just memories, but meaningful memories that build faith in Deut. 6
Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.
1) Loving God is the most important activity we can do: Do you love God? With all you’ve got? Does it show in the time you give Him? In the time you give your family? In how you treat your family and neighbors?
2) Every day is a day for PARENTS to tell their children about God. Let them know why you love God, how you trust him, and to explain God’s heart and care for people as you see both good and bad in the world. You don’t need to wait for church.
3) Be very “normal” in how you relate your love for God. You don’t have to gather everyone around the table and haul out Grandma’s big King James Family Bible that could be used in a “World’s Strongest Man” lifting exhibition! Although there is nothing wrong with that. Use opportunities like seeing flowers and bees in your yard to talk about how creative God is or how he takes care of his creation, or when you see bad things, talk about how that breaks God’s heart and how he has been working from before creation to win back the love of his rebellious people. When family decisions are pending, show your trust in God’s guiding hand by regular prayer for your needs.
4) Never let your love for God, or knowledge of his word, depart from you. So many things want to crowd out God: ice cream, television, family gatherings, games, fixing up your yard and house—and when they do, your spiritual health suffers. Make regular time for connecting to God in prayer and his word. (can you figure out how ice cream can be detrimental to you spiritual health?)
We do take the parents’ role seriously, and at the same time we know it is not always easy to get your family on the same page, much less in the same room. So Monroe Christian Church is going to help all of our parents do BOTH of those with our new “Family Sunday School Fun.”
Instead of splitting up the family, we will bring you all together for a time of fun and spiritual growth : helping make memories
Of course it doesn’t apply to parents and children. Couples can make faith memories. How nice would it be to remember serving dinner at a soup kitchen together at Thanksgiving, or growing deeper because you took time to grow at a marriage enrichment weekend emerging closer than ever instead of spending the same weekend in front of the television or performing the same chores you see week in and week out?
Even Singles can get in the act, making dinner for a group of friends as you encourage each other with stories of how God has blessed you and how he has challenged and deepened your love for Him
This is actually a good time to bring up the 4th characteristic:
Extended Family is Welcomed
While the Bible often talks about Family, and we often think of “mom/dad, and the kids” we forget that “family” as we read in the Bible often assumes—or even means—extended family, or clan.
Even where monogamy was practiced the family was large, including the father, mother, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters (until marriage), grandparents, and other kinsmen as well as servants, concubines, and sojourners. (ISBE)
Extended family can be a pain—as my memory of Uncle Leon confirms—but it is also a great resource.
There used to be a day when families were not so
• highly transient
• nuclear
• cocooned off from one another
and they
• sat on the front porch instead of hiding in back
• women would get together cooking and canning and quilting while the men helped each other harvest in the fields
Obviously we live differently and work differently, and it is not all bad, but we lost a great resource in the process: the great wealth of experience and encouragement that came as we supported and helped one another from basic routines in life to new or difficult transitions in life.
Extended family can help take the pressure off the so-called nuclear family: I remember many nights talking to my Christian neighbor until the wee hours of the morning after some pressure filled days with my parents. He encouraged me, listened to me, and gave me a fresh perspective on things. It would have been harder getting through highschool without his presence
The church is by nature a family, both close and extended.
PSALM 68:6 God sets the lonely in families
What a lovely and reassuring passage. And one of the primary ways he does that today is through his household, the church
Finally, we will consider a 5th Characteristic of the Forever Family
Eternal Family
This is just a reminder that there is a life beyond this one. And even if our family on earth has chosen not to follow God, we will be family with many more for eternity.
Mark 10:29 “I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.
Don’t disregard those “brothers and sisters” around you, even though they might not share the same blood or last name. They are still important, and in some cases, will be your family long beyond earthly families have passed away.
Also, don’t neglect the raising of your own children to love the Lord—if your children are indeed important to you
Do remember to love your unbelieving relative: whether a parent, a spouse, or kin, not badgering them into your faith, but PRAYING for them and winning them over by HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE in love toward them. As 1 Peter 3 says:
3 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.
4–6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.
7 The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.
CONCLUSION:
In Coming weeks, MCC is giving opportunity to families to
• come together
• have fun
• learn about their faith
We hope this will spur greater activity in the home. Remember,
Only With Christ Can We Experience Forever Family—with Christ at the center we truly make a H.O.M.E.E.-----or as Christopher might say: Christ makes you my “Homie”
in the end, it is not about biology, not about brick and mortar, but about if we are born of Christ)
What do you need to do to grow your forever family?
