A Little Slice of Heaven Nestled Between Truth and Love
Don’t you just love the smells of Thanksgiving?
the delectable golden brown turkey basting and baking away
tasty russet potatoes being mashed to fluffy perfection, topped off by melting butter, salt and pepper
golden brown turkey gravy simmering on the stove top
the sweet/tart aroma of fresh, juicy, cranberries
dark orange yams smothered with all the brown sugar C&H could produce and blanket by all the Jet-puffed marshmallows that can be arranged on the top of a 9x13 pan
warm, smooth and spicy pumpkin pie waiting to be topped off with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream or cool whip or real whipped cream topping
fresh coffee brewing in the corner
and on and on we could go—that covers about a 1/3 of what is served on Thanksgiving
These smells all waft together making our mouths water and our tummies rumble and our anxiety rise as we ask that all important question: when can we eat?
The smells are great, but the eating is better. We want to experience the benefits of what those smells are a reminder of: there is food to be eaten and bellies to be filled so full we could just pop as we lay in front of the television while the women clean up . . . NO! did I just say that? But you get the point. The smells are terrific, but the eatin’ is even better.
Fragrant offering: what Christ has done for us
There is a smell that is even better. Better than my mom’s homemade rolls. Better than Angie’s mashed potatoes. Sweeter than grandma’s pumpkin pie: that aroma is none other than the fragrance of our Lord’s sacrifice.
Ephesians 5:2b Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Paul is talking about Jesus’ sacrifice—his death—on the cross. It wasn’t a pretty sight. And Paul is not being macabre. He is drawing a parallel with the OT sacrifices that were made to God with lambs and doves and grain for the forgiveness of sins and for offering thanks. If done properly, the sacrifices were pleasing to God, and became “a pleasing aroma” as they burned on the altar.
Christ’s death—his handing himself over to die for the sins of the world in complete obedience to the Father, and as the perfect sacrifice (more perfect than any lamb or other could be) was a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. And we are the beneficiaries.
It is this death of Jesus that teaches us how to really love
It is this death of Jesus that shows us the extent we go to love others
It is this death of Jesus that reminds us of the depth of our own sin and faults
It is this death of Jesus that keeps our pride and self-righteousness in check toward the sins or others, instead learning to bear with them in love, to OFFER them love even at the moment they may not “deserve it.”
By his death we learn to love others. We are able to love others
But as you would have found out last week during Craig’s sermon, in Jesus’ life, in his very person, we find he is full of truth, in fact, he IS truth. And so we are taught to put off the “old self”, the way people (we) think without Christ, learn to live lives far from deceit and full of truth. And so we pick up the beginning line of our passage today
Ephesians 5:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
As the people of God, led by the Spirit of God, made new by the Son of God, we are to be people of truth. We are to deal with each other in truth. Not just speaking true facts, but relating to each other with no deception, no half-truths, no lies. We also speak the truth as we remind each other of JESUS, who is the truth. When we encourage each other in him.
In Jesus’ life and death and resurrection, we see truth at work. We learn to be people of truth.
Our whole Bible text today is bracketed by these two words: truth and love. It is between these two bookends that Paul teaches us how to live. We are to be governed by truth AND love in all our actions.
Truth and love serve us the two rails of a ladder: supporting and guiding us in all we do. If one rail of a ladder is missing, the ladder doesn’t work. Both need to be present.
Ephesians 4:15: “Speaking the Truth in Love” puts both together.
If you speak truth without love, you become harsh. A judge. Corinthians calls you a clanging cymbal or annoying gong. You become judgmental. I am ashamed to admit I have that tendency.
If you speak only love without truth, you leave out Jesus. Because of Jesus, we can’t just do what we want. Jesus is truth. He teaches us true life and holiness and righteousness. Without truth we don’t deal with sin and the way out of sin: Jesus.
Both truth and love are vital components of the Christian life.
Wayne Cordeiro and Robert Lewis remind us in their book “culture shift” that it is “painful to be corrected. Whenver I correct someone “Bob, you’ve got to sopt being late”) I’m pulling something away from Bob, such as a flaw or an immaturity. I’m probably also ripping out a few roots that come with it. After a while, Bob shies away because he’s tired of bleeding. He hides the next time he sees me coming.”
It’s nice to talk with people who can make a point without impaling anyone on it.
(www.preachingtoday.com, Vicki Edwards, St. Charles, Missouri)
Cordeiro continues: “Unless we build the culture otherwise, [Dan says: by truth balanced with love] most people will assume that when thei’re corrected they’re being devalued. Instead, I want to have enough relationship and trust with Bob that he sees my correction as someone investing in him. . . When the congregation has that kind of hear, the Holy Spirit can have carte blanche in the church. Otherwise, the Spirit may sit on the sideline and say, “When you’re ready for me, let me know.” (p. 117)
Are you in balance with both, or like me, are you still learning to put both into action? Paul gives us some examples of how we live between truth and love in our passage today. He calls it ‘imitating God.”
Let’s jump right in:
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
5 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Do you notice the command: “Be Imitators?”
Sometimes Imitation has a negative sense: like when we think of
“knock off watches” pretending to be expensive Rolexes.
But Paul is encouraging us to choose to be like God
He wants us to be influenced by God and reflect God in our actions. A good imitation makes it difficult to tell the knock off from the real. The resemblance is so close, people wonder . . . When people look at us, do they see God?
BIG IDEA: Acting in Truth and Love helps us create a little heaven on earth.
Creating a “little heaven on earth” is a short way of saying: “when we imitate God in our lives with grace and truth, we will create an environment where people are valued and loved more than they deserve, where they can learn to leave the baggage of destructive living behind and find a place where they can call home, be at home, and flourish in the forgiving and empowering presence of God.”
Wayne Cordeiro tells of a receptionist from his church who has found a “little slice of heaven on earth” around God’s people:
He found out she worked her “day job” six days a week, and volunteered to be a receptionist at the church building her one day off.
He says:
“Why do you come here and do this?” I asked.
“Being here is like a breath of fresh aire,” she replied.
“Don’t you want to take a day off?”
“This IS a day off,” she responded. “It fills my soul.”
He reflects:
“She feels valued. That is the kind of love we want to show. This love is not something we muster on our own; It comes from learning to recognize evidence of God’s presence. It is easy to look for evidence of God’s absence, but we focus on the opposite, because we know that people tend to see whatever they look for.” (Culture Shift, authored with Robert Lewis, p. 115)
In the context of today’s text, it is not so much about looking for God, as in imitating God, so that when others LOOK, they SEE and EXPERIENCE the truth and love of God at work in us: they experience a little slice of heaven.
How do we get this slice of heaven?
1. We are Called to Leave Behind Behavior that is Counter to God:
falsehood, anger, stealing, just to name a few.
Why?
I have had conversations with several of you about the devil’s influence
Devil’s Influence: speaking about freaky experiences, Horror movies, Hells Bells video
some of us may shudder at that, or shake our heads in dismay at his influence. But we don’t have to be involved in moving furniture/séances/or playing “devil music” to be influenced by the devil
Anger, etc, is giving Satan a foothold in our lives: describe Christian Relationships gone sour (peace makers may have illustrations from business and home).
Do we wanna: give the devil influence; grieve the Holy Spirit, give the neighbors or town a reason for good gossip; break the unity Jesus has won for us, . . . (how much of these motivations should be in the lead off and how many should be coming on in the middle of it all?
I find it interesting that Paul spends a lot of time on anger and related words (Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice). He must think people have issues with anger and anger management.
I recently came across the top ten signs you have an anger problem, I will only recount a few:
1. You display your middle finger on the dashboard before you start the car. (My wife wisely told me not to say this one, but I left it for SC users, because I am sure some of you can identify and chuckle a little . . . and then repent! :-) )
2. There are more holes in the walls of your house than there are craters on the moon.
5. Your definition of Anger Management is managing to program the VCR without throwing it across the room first.
8. The bulging vein in your forehead pulsates to the beat of La Cucaracha.
10. Your list of people to get back at is longer than your tax return.
(http://www.gotlinks.com/earticles/articles/90526-top-10-signs-that-you-have-an-anger-problem.html)
Some of us may be going “that’s me!” while many of us probably may conclude we DON’T have an anger problem. Let’s take a more scientific and broad look at anger:
From the Australian Psychology Society
What is anger?
Anger is an emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. It is a feeling that is accompanied by biological changes in your body. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure rise and stress hormones are released. This can cause you to shake, become hot and sweaty and feel out of control.
When people have angry feelings, they often behave in angry ways too. Angry behaviors include yelling, throwing things, criticizing, ignoring, storming out and sometimes withdrawing and doing nothing.
Why do we get angry?
Anger is often associated with frustration - things don’t always happen the way we want and people don’t always behave the way we think they should. Anger is usually linked with other negative emotions or is a response to them. You may be feeling hurt, frightened, disappointed, worried, embarrassed or frustrated, but may express these sorts of feelings as anger. Anger can also result from misunderstandings or poor communication between people.
Men and women often, but not always, manage and express anger in different ways. With men, anger may be the primary emotion, as many men believe that anger is the more legitimate emotion to express in a situation. Often men find it harder to express the feelings underneath the anger, like hurt, sadness or grief. For women the reverse may often be true - the anger gets buried under tears.
(http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/12.5_12.asp)
Anger IS an indication of what is going on inside of us, but Paul warns:
“In your anger, do not sin.” We often may feel that our emotion gives us license to act out. Some of us may even feel like venting is a good thing. We go off in a fit of rage, leaving a trail of destruction behind . . . sure WE feel (momentarily) better, but do those around us?
This is an area I struggle with. I display my anger in both outbursts and in withdrawal and depression. I have sinned in my anger, too. Have you?
Paul says to PUT IT AWAY.
it is a collaboration between God and Us
We can’t totally do away with it ourselves (though we can control it to some degree: like my cursing . . .)
God doesn’t always just “take away” all sinful inclinations (tho he may some)
I like the perspective on conflict--which is often the occasion for our anger to rise up—given by peacmaker ministries. Instead of seeing conflict as
something to be avoided
a time where I bully to get my way
a time when I find the nearest escape
• we should “view conflict not as an accident but as a stewardship opportunity.” (from a seminar at the National Missionary Convention, Indianapolis, 2006, in a workshop on Peacemaker principles, led by Mssrs. Denny and Parrish.)
“let no unwholesome . . .” (“rotten, putrid, decayed, harmful”)
5. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit (vs. 30):
Verse 30 is kind of a summary statement, reminding us of the effect of our sin. Our sin grieves God ¡V it grieves the Holy Spirit.
Steven Grant relates a camp experience his brother had: The camp director was trying to communicate the effect our sin has on God, and so he set a beautiful table ¡V fine linen, the best china and cutlery, candles, everything neat and perfect. And he said ¡§here is what God provides for us.¡¨ And then he pulled out the garbage bag from the dining hall ¡V full of disgusting, revolting, smelly, rotting garbage. He held it up. Then he said ¡§this is what we do to God when we sin,¡¨ and he dumped the garbage all over the beautifully prepared table. Our sin grieves God. It grieves our relationship with others. We are constantly tempted to think that a little lie is no big deal, that if we feel angry we have the right to lash out and say hurtful things to those around us, that stealing is ok if the person or store has so much more and they¡¦ll never miss it, that it is ok for us to say unkind things or dirty jokes or gossip. But every time we do, we throw garbage on the gifts God provides. And we destroy the relationships we need with one another.
(Steven S. Grant, http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermon.asp?SermonID=47263&page=3)
Whenever we choose NOT to put off these things,
we Grieve the HS
we replace the love and truth in Jesus with the influence of the devil
SHOW Kids’ book at NMC we bought on Jesus being with us: the mug shot scene with Jesus and demon imposters.
Instead, We are to
2. Give to Each Other What God has Given to Us
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. . . .32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
5 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us
Ken Sande tells how God wants us to learn to “bring hope through the Gospel” than bring judgment through the Law.
read p. 162-163 of Peacemaking, by Ken Sande. It deals with his natural tendency to “give people the law—show them where they have gone wrong—rather than give them the gospel. The first raises defensiveness immediately. The second opens up communication where they are able to hear you. They know you are not just there to slam them, but want the best in them.
It is how Jesus did it: the Samaritan woman (spoke much of worship, salvation, living water), she let down her defenses . . . and found Christ.
Paul, in the letter to 1 Corinthians, long before he launches into needed critiquing (as their apostle) he spends much time thanking God for them, affirming them in Christ Jesus.
Do those we critique sense that we love them? If we find people running and hiding from us, it may be more due to our “loveless” approach of bringing truth than their desire to “stay in error.”
Ken Sande, p. 170 (Charitable Judgments)
TRUTH IN LOVE
"Criticism," said Ralph Waldo Emerson, "should not be querulous and wasting, all knife and root-puller, but guiding, instructive, inspiring--a south wind, not an east wind."
preachingtoday.comBits & Pieces. Leadership, Vol. 2, no. 1.
TRUTH in LOVE, BUILDING EACH OTHER UP
For six summers, Jim Slevcove was my supervisor at Forest Home, a Christian conference center in California. I held a responsible position over junior high and high school kids, but couldn’t pass up a chance to play a prank. Like the time I passed off a laxative gum as chewing gum to some coworkers. Word of the rigorous purgative’s effect got back to Jim.
He asked me to come to his office the next day for "a little chat." I was still a little defiant when Jim called me in. There was a long, awkward silence as he leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. Were those tears in his eyes? Then he whispered "Benny" with tender affection. "Benny" he repeated twice when he got control of his emotions.
My arguments disappeared like the vapor they were. I’d gone way over the line of propriety, not to mention compassion. I owed and paid Jim and my victims an apology. We talked about my impulsiveness and vindictiveness, the meaning of Christian community, and the responsibilities that go with leadership. Even in saying the hard thing to me, Jim was always gracious. His goal was not to tear down, but to build up.
(PreachingToday.com,Ben Patterson, He Has Made Me Glad, found in Men of Integrity (Jan/Feb 2006), January 20)
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. . . .32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
FORGIVE as HE forgave You
“Four G’s” from Peacemakers: (here is number four)
GO and be RECONCILED (or, “Go and Give Grace:” Denny like this phrase better because we can’t expect they will BE reconciled. But we can give grace in obedience to and appreciation of God.)
Our forgiveness shows what we think of God’s forgiveness
We cannot forgive people on our own strength.
Neither a feeling, nor forgetting, nor excusing
• we have to decide to put the old memories away. It is not “passive forgetting.”
“Forgiveness is a decision modeled after God’s decision to forgive us.” (simple standard or guide on how to forgive)
Forgiveness at work: I promise not to dwell on this. I will put it aside.
• often we store our issues in a “gunny sack” until we reach our limit and we throw all the contents out. then we collect it all again, add to it, and save it for another time. (this is NOT good!)
I promise I will NOT talk to others about this.
I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder us . . . .
(National Missionary Convention, Peacemaking Workshop #4, Parrish and Denny, Moderators)
This is not easy stuff, but it can be done by the power and knowledge of God
CONCLUSION
Ken Sande says:
“I realized that I could not consistently weave the gospel into my conversations with others until the gospel was woven deeply into my own heart. God showed me that I am a natural “law speaker” I bring judgment much more easily than I bring grace. When I saw this, I began praying for God to give me a major hear change, to make the gospel central to everything I think, say and do.” (p 165)
Do you find yourself a law speaker rather than a grace giver? (i often am)
Is our church a community where people would gladly give their only day off work to serve with joy and love?
Is true forgiveness for ALL the rule rather than the exception?
Are we harboring anger or bitterness or malice or slander against someone we think wronged us?
IF SO,
we are grieving God
allowing the devil INFLUENCE
throwing garbage on all the grace God has built into his family, Christ’s body, his church: US
and we need to repent.
What can we do?
1. Pray, like Ken Sande, that God will give us a major heart change
2. Read passages like Matt 18:21-35 and ask God to show us people we have not forgiven, and to give us opportunity and strength to FORGIVE as HE FORGAVE US
3. Choose a “random Act of Kindness” toward someone we would normally not accept (like a goth, or a white collar worker, or a goody two shoe, or our mother in law)
4. Make a list of sins we struggle with—confess them to God and to a trusted friend. Repent by being determined to walk away from them. Read Ps 103:12 and tear up the list and throw it away
5. Commit to studying the Bible to learn about grace, love, and forgiveness. Buy a book that deals with those topics, or visit www.peacemaker.net
6. Start a relationship with Jesus
In our recent church survey, one of our weak areas was our inability to deal with conflict in a godly manner. This is a needed skill that is close to my heart—though I have no illusions that I am good at it. I just yearn for people to live together in unity and work hard to keep it. It is a theme I will keep revisiting from time to time in the near future, and it will require all of us committing to making this work across the whole church.
We don’t want to do things that make the devil glad, makes the Holy Spirit sad, or dooms our brother or sister to feeling bad. Rather, we want to make the devil run, magnify the Son, and learn to live as one.
