Healthy Life Choices for Members of God’s Family
Gladstone Baptist Church – 9/10/05 pm
We have started on a 2 week series on being the family of God. Being in a family is often an interesting experience isn’t it. I can remember growing up as a boy and having all manner of fights with my brother and sister. I was the middle child and thus was the neglected one – everyone say “OH poor Davey!”
I was also probably the one who in actual fact causes a lot of the arguments because I loved teasing people and probably often went too far.
My sister was 18mths older and had no interest in sport or anything important like that. She’d far prefer to sit and read a book inside than come out and throw a ball with me. That made me mad!!!
My brother was 3 years younger and also had other interests – probably because he was at a different stage. He didn’t like playing sport with me much either because I was bigger and stronger and therefore typically better. I can remember getting into all manner of fights with my brother when I was young – I used to love pinning him to the ground and teasing him. Not really nice was I – but Hey – I was a middle child and I blame it on that!!!
Family dynamics are interesting aren’t they. We sometimes fight like cats and dogs, but just let someone else try to attack one of our brothers or sisters and we’ll rush to their aid and fight for them like there is no tomorrow.
Many families are dysfunctional and even when their members mature – they still fight like Cats and Dogs. I am pleased to announce that I don’t fight with my brother and sister any more – we’ve a good relationship now.
The Bible calls us the family of God. Rom 12:10 instructs us to
(NIV) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
(CEV) Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves.
We are called to be a part of a family and in that family, we are to love each other and honor each other.
The Bible gives a lot of good practical instructions for how we are to act towards “one another.” There are a lot of “one another” sayings and so this week and next week we thought we’d look at just 4 of them. Roger looked this morning at belonging to one another. Next Sunday morning we’ll look at bearing with one another and forgiving each other and next Sunday night, I’ll look at the command to serve one another.
But Tonight, I want to look at the topic of ENCOURAGING one another. Australian’s aren’t always very good at encouraging each other. At the footy or a sporting event, we show our encouragement through cheering, but at the same time, we love to sledge the other team – and even our own team if it doesn’t perform. Our compliments are often backhanders and we seem to be far better at bringing people down a peg or two rather than building them up. We are quick to judge and quicker to condemn. So tonight, I want to talk about 3 life choices that every single member of God’s spiritual family needs to make in order to encourage one another.
Pray
Read Rom 14:1- 15:6
14 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. (What is a disputable matter? It is something which the Bible doesn’t set out clear guidelines about. E.g. Should I go to movies? Can I drink alcohol? Can I play sport on Sunday? Is Stem cell research acceptable? There are some guidelines, in Scripture, but no clear answers. Paul gives us some examples of his own here …) 2 One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
(As I read the next 4 verses, I want you to count how many times the phrase “to the Lord” occurs.)
5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:
”‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’”
12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
Paul admits that the bible doesn’t have the direct answer for every question we have. We need to apply the principles we find in the Bible to our daily lives. For Paul’s audience it was what can we eat – can we eat food that might have been offered to idols? Some people said no – some said yes. Another disputable matter was on what day should they meet to worship God. Some wanted to stick with the old Sabbath day – Saturday. Some wanted to move to Sunday. Which was right. Doesn’t matter – what does matter is that what we do we do “to the Lord.” How many times did this phrase appear in those four verses – 6 times - do you think Paul is trying to emphasis something.
You see the first life choice we must make as members of God’s family is to Choose to live our lives for AN AUDIENCE OF ONE. Paul says (vs 8) that if we live, we live to the Lord. We are to live our lives to please God and God alone. He is our master, we are his servants. I don’t have to answer to you for the things I do, because you are not my master. You don’t have to answer to me for the things you do, because I am not your master. God is our master and we answer only to him.
What are the implications for us? It means
1) that we have to stop JUDGING others when it comes to disputable matters. Stop passing judgment on a person because they drink some alcohol, or because they listen to a certain style of music, or because they buy a big boat instead of giving that money to the poor. You have no right to judge a person for such things as this because they are living for God and must answer to him.
Some people are very critical of others in this church. If I was to draw a scale from 0 (never ever judges) to 10 (always judging and condemning) – where would you place yourself. We need to strive to be a 10. That is where God wants his family to operate. We need to stop condemning and judging.
2) That we must seek GOD’S WILL for our lives and our decisions. God is watching us and how we choose to live our lives. He will require us to answer for the choices we make. So we need to seek God’s guidance for our lives in order to please him and him only. I know some Christians who put their work above God. They seek to please their boss rather than God. That is dangerous. I know some Christians who put their leisure activities before God. They seek to please their friends rather than God. That’s just stupid. Do you know what happens when you seek to please other people – you never ever satisfy them. They always want more of you – more of your time, more of your energy. They are never satisfied. We need to live our lives as to the Lord, not for people.
That’s the First of our healthy life choices we need to make - to live our lives for the audience of one.
Paul then goes onto to outline a second life choice that we as members of God’s family must make
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. 14 As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15 If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16 Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.
Paul says you are part of God’s family, therefore Choose not to live your life as a trip hazard for others. Paul’s challenge to us as brothers and sisters in Christ is to avoid tripping others up or obstructing others. Because each of us have different convictions and different levels of maturity, something that one person does with a clear conscience before God, may not be healthy or good for another person to do.
For example – Would it be okay for 2 youth leaders to go to a porn convention to hand out tracts or Bibles? Why Not?
Here is another example – Would you have concerns if I spent most of my day down at the Grand Hotel – drinking beer with friends and engaged in conversation about the gospel.
Why are these things wrong – in themselves they not be wrong, but the examples I have used don’t sit right with us because we look up to these people as examples and we would fear that others who saw them doing this would not have the self control that our trusty youth leaders or myself would undoubtedly have. Other less mature and less able to control themselves might end up getting caught up in pornography or alcoholism because they saw someone else doing it.
Paul says 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat (Or what you do), you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.
If something we do, has the potential to trip someone up or place them in a place where they are tempted, we should not do it. Paul says that a member of God’s family chooses not to be a stumbling block to others.
Now stumbling blocks come in all shapes and forms. What is a stumbling block for me may not be a stumbling block for others. What is a stumbling block for you, may not be a stumbling block for me. So what does this mean in practice …
1) We need to be conscious that we are all at different points of our journey and have different weaknesses. Be aware of those around you who ARE WATCHING. Be aware that there are some things which you probably should never do, because of the chance that people might see you. So Paul & Michael – I don’t think you should go to that porn conference next week.
Here is an example – I am probably quite happy to watch some movies that some of you would not like. I know of people who are completely insensed when they see nudity or sex on movies, but are happy to watch violence or listen to foul language. I know others who are deeply offended by language, but would be happy if the movie featured people in affairs or sleeping together. The point is, we need to be aware of what things might offend others in our midst and make sure that we do not trip them up by the expression of our freedom.
2) Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. We need to be thinking before we act else we can easily be a trip hazard for others.
So the first choice we must make when we choose to be in God’s Family is to live our lives for an audience of one. Secondly, we must ensure we are not a trip hazard for another person
The Third life choice we need to make is to live your life in peace and to encourage others
19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.
22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
15 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Paul says – do everything possible to live at peace with each other and build each other up.
Most people I’ve met are far more comfortable whinging and complaining than we are at encouraging each other. We do that all the time. When something doesn’t go right, we’ll criticize. But when was the last time you told someone that something went well or that you thought they did a good job.
Paul says that if you are going to be in God’s family – you need to choose to seek peace with one another – How?
• By refusing to JUDGE (vs 13) and shutting down others who are judging. If someone starts to criticize or judge others in your presence tell them that it is not our place to judge. Challenge them - “What right have you got to judge others.” “Who made you their master?” Point them to this passage and suggest we need to show grace rather than condemnation.
• By accepting that different people will have DIFFERENT OPINIONS on disputable matters (vs 1).
• By sometimes BITING YOUR TONGUE and not arguing your point (vs 22). I love debates and I know some of you do too. I hate admitting that I’m wrong – is there anyone else like me here tonight? I’d rather argue (debate) and try to show that it is the other person’s problem, not mine. But Paul is saying, no don’t debate the different stances and which one is right or wrong – know what you believe before your God and keep your mouth shut. Don’t try to convince them about what is right or wrong - leave that to God to do.
• By RESTRICTING OUR FREEDOM for the sake of others (14:15; 15:1). By doing this, we don’t create problems for other people.
Then Paul says we are to seek to encourage each other and build them up. Our focus needs to be this
Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. (vs2).
What are some ideas for encouraging other people ….
Encouragement can be something said, something done, something prayed. Paul says make every effort to keep the peace and encourage one another, because this is what God’s family is like.
So here are 3 choices we can make to ensure healthy relationships within our spiritual family.
1) Choose to live your life for an audience of one.
Don’t worry about what man thinks of you. Worry about what God thinks of you. You don’t have to answer to Men at the judgment seat of God, but you will have to answer to God. The flip side of the coin is that we should not expect people to live their lives to please us. We are not their masters, we don’t have any right to judge them. God is their judge and we should encourage people to live for God, not live for us.
2) Choose to not be a trip hazard for other people
We all have to be aware that some of our freedoms are other people’s chains. We need to make sure that what we do doesn’t make other people stumble and fall and that it doesn’t lead them into sin. The way we do that is to constantly be assessing what we are doing and asking the question – What impact will this have on my brothers and sisters. What can they read into this action. And if you are in doubt – don’t do it, or ask someone for their advice.
3) Choose to live your life in peace and encourage others.
Lastly, we need to do everything possible to keep the peace. So no judging. Instead we need to see acceptance and grace. We need to hear more silence rather than people trying to justify why they are right and others are wrong. And we need to be encouragers. Letting our imagination run wild to figure out ways to encourage our brothers and sisters.
Being the Family of God means that we have some choices to make. We can either build the family up or we can break it down. I pray that you would be one who builds God’s family up – why? So God can be glorified.
5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
