This is the fourth sermon in a series entitled “Loving others…and letting them know it.” The purpose of this series has been to understand what true Christian love is, as well as specific ways in which we can express that love to others so that they will actually know without a doubt that they are loved.
In our first study, we learned about the unconditional love of God, and how we are called to have this love. We saw that so often, the love we profess to have as Christians is really a conditional love – a love reserved for those who think, dress, talk, worship, and live the way we do. But as we studied the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 5, we learned that we are called to a perfect love, which the Scriptures explain to be an all-encompassing love, a love that reaches out to all, indiscriminate of differences; indeed, a love as perfect as that of our Father in Heaven. We discovered that the Scriptures tell of a God whose love knows no bounds – not race, nor class, nor denomination, nor lifestyle. It is a love that is not based on what we do, but who we are – children of Almighty God, the crowning work of His creation. Because each one of us is created by God, we are all loved by God, no matter how bad we may be. Once we understand this love God has for each of us, we begin to understand how we are to love those around us, with a love that will draw them closer to the heart of God – a love that, once received, will inspire a change that we could never accomplish on our own.
We then learned about the power of loving touch. In the life of Christ, we discovered that though He had the power to heal over great distances, or even with just a word, yet in the majority of His healings He reached out and made physical contact with those in need. Each one of us is created with the need to be touched – through a handshake, a hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a hug. And there are many in the world – indeed, many even in this congregation – who have not felt the warmth of another human touch for a long time. As followers of Jesus Christ, we realised that to preach the Gospel is not enough – that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. And so we realised that we are called to be the hands of Jesus, reaching out to a world in need, and with a gentle touch leading them to the arms of the Saviour whose embrace will save to the uttermost.
Then last week, we learned about the power of our words. Over and over in the Scriptures, we are told of the power of the tongue, either to bring life, or to bring death. Again through the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 18, we discovered that our words come forth as reflections of what is in our hearts. And so, we concluded, if our hearts are full of the love of God – this unconditional love that reaches out to everyone – then our words must also be reflectors of this love.
We studied the principle of Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome or corrupt communication come from your mouth, but only that which is useful for the building up of others.” As Christians, we are called to keep a very careful watch over our words, speaking only that which will encourage others in the faith. The challenge was set forth from the Scriptures to affirm one another in our service, and to support our leadership with words of encouragement and prayer, casting off harsh criticism and gossip. We read in Matthew chapter 12, verses 36 and 37, that in the final day, our very words will be accounted in the judgment, and that by our words we will either be justified or condemned.
From our studies thus far, we have concluded that the love of God does not simply abide in our hearts; it is reflected in the words we speak and the actions we take.
Which brings us to our study today. I would invite you to turn with me, once again, to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 6, starting at verse 19. (Read verses 19-21).
What is Jesus saying here? He is saying that where we invest of ourselves is a reflection of where our hearts are. If we invest in the worldly, then we show that our hearts have not been fully converted by the Divine. Likewise, then, if our hearts have been touched by the love of Almighty God, and we are responding to that love, our investments will be a reflection of our conversion. And this touches all aspects of life.
But the aspect of investment I wish to focus on today is that of our time. Time is the greatest commodity God has given us to invest in His kingdom, and it is the one commodity He calls us to sacrifice the most generously to His cause.
Consider, if you will, a book entitled Time for Life. According to the authors of this controversial book, the average American has more free time today than at any time since 1965. Two time management experts studied the daily routines of Americans over thirty years to reach their surprising conclusion, which says that our leisure time has increased almost five hours per week in the last three decades. Knowing that most people feel more rushed today than ever before, the authors say more leisure time has actually accelerated rather than slowed the pace of life.
Statistics gathered reveal that on an average, Americans spend nine-tenths of one hour per week – about fifty-four minutes – on religious activities. That’s about the length of a church service, so for many, a church service is about the only amount of time they invest in their religious experience on a weekly basis. Compare this to fifteen hours a week that are spent watching television, and what we find are a whole lot of professed religious people whose investments are revealing the real nature of their hearts.
What do your investments reveal this morning? What are you doing with your time? How much of it are you investing in eternity? It’s a question each one of can only answer for ourselves, but answer it we must.
Our study for the past several weeks has been on love relationships – first our love relationship with God, and then our love relationships with others. And the great principle of any relationship is that you will only get out of a relationship what you put into it. If you want a deeper relationship with God, you’re going to have to commit time to it – for personal prayer and devotions, for ministry, and for corporate worship. Likewise, if you want to have healthy, growing, dynamic relationships with others, again, there will need to be an investment of time for fellowship and socialising.
Let me ask you this: of the couple hundred people sitting in this congregation this morning, how many can you say you know? And I mean really know – more than just their name. It’s kind of sobering when you think about it, isn’t it. There are people who have been coming to this church for years, who could walk out at the end of this service and never come back, and nobody would notice. And friends, that fault would lie with you and me.
In his book “The Five Love Languages”, Dr. Gary Chapman notes several important aspects of investing time into relationships. The two that we’ll focus on this morning are togetherness and quality conversation.
Togetherness is the most important part of any growing relationship. But togetherness, we must understand, has nothing to do with proximity. Rather, it has to do with focused attention. When we come to church service each week, we all sit under the same roof. We are all close in proximity to each other, but we are not building our relationships with one another. Why? Because our attention is focused on the preacher in the pulpit. And that’s a good thing! For the main church service, that’s where our attention is supposed to be focused – on the message God has for our lives. We are building our relationship with God because we are giving Him our full attention through the study of His Word. And so we come together at the 11 o’clock hour to grow corporately in our relationship with God.
But have we grown in our relationships with each other? No, we have not; or at least we won’t have if our focus was where it should have been. We grow in our relationships with each other, then – we grow in togetherness – as we spend time in fellowship with one another outside of the main church service.
The Bible enjoins both types of gathering – for corporate worship and for fellowship. Turn with me please, to the book of Acts, chapter 2. As we study the pattern of the early church, we read this about them in verse 44 of Acts chapter 2: “And all that believed were together....” And what did being together involve? Verses 42 and 46 give us the answer. Verse 42 tells us that “They continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine” – that is, Bible study with their focus on God – “and in fellowship” – spending time with one another in fellowship and getting to know each other. Verse 46 says that they “met daily in the Temple” – again, corporate worship with the focus on God – and “they broke bread from house to house” – in other words, there were small group gatherings for fellowship.
What does this mean to us today? It means this: to be a part of the body of Christ involves more than just coming to church for an hour or two on Sabbath morning each week. Friends, the Scriptures call us to come together often, to grow in our spiritual walk and to grow in our relationships with each other. This means staying for potluck after church – and be sure to bring something to contribute to the table if you can. It means meeting throughout the week for fellowship, prayer and Bible study. (Emphasise Midweek meeting on Wednesday Night). If we want to see this church grow, in both quantity and quality, we have got to do more than come together for a few hours once a week.
Of course, it’s not enough to just assemble in the same place at the same time. For a relationship to grow, there must also be quality conversation, which Dr. Chapman describes as “two individuals…sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.” This is different from the words of affirmation we studied last week. Words of affirmation are about what we are saying to one another. Quality conversation is about what we are hearing another person convey with their words.
And let me clarify something here: arguing or debating with someone over a point of disagreement is not having a conversation: it is focused more on what I am saying than what I am hearing you say. Debate is focused on crafting our arguments, defending our position, and proving I’m right and you’re wrong. In the end, nobody wins an argument. You may have pounded your point home, and forced the other to accept it; but in failing to respect their perspective – in failing to genuinely understand where they have come from – you have failed to communicate love. And the Bible says that if our words are spoken without love, they are empty and useless.
This is where the investment of time comes in: if we are going to have a real conversation, my focus will be on listening to what you have to say, asking questions so that I may genuinely understand your thoughts, feelings and desires. That can’t be done in passing; it means planting yourself down with another individual, looking at them, and sharing.
You know, I’ve noticed a remarkable phenomenon, in our society as a whole, as well as in the church. It happens in this way: I come into the church Sabbath morning. I pass someone in the foyer and they ask me how I’m doing, only to keep walking away as I try to answer. Now normally we say “good, thanks.” One time I answered, “Well, I think I’m getting a cold”, and the person replied “oh, that’s nice” as they walked away – they weren’t paying any attention! Friends, don’t even ask the question if you’re not prepared to stop and listen to the answer. Like I said, the answer is usually “Just fine.” Yet many of those who say “Just fine” are anything but fine. They are having problems at home, they have received bad news about their health, they are discouraged in the faith. But we say “Just fine” because we know nobody is paying attention to our answer anyway.
Or have you ever talked to someone, and they going, “uh huh, uh huh”, but they’re looking somewhere else, or they’re sorting mail, or they’re looking at a brochure, or something equally distracting. Do you feel like they’re listening to you? I know my wife gets after me about that all the time. She’ll walk into a room and try to tell me something, and when she asks me if I’ve heard a word she’s said, I can’t recall a thing. And I know I’m not alone in doing that.
The message we convey, friends, when we don’t take the time to stop and hear what another person is saying is that “I’m ‘too busy’ to listen to what you have to say. What I’m doing is too important to take time for you.”
You know, it never ceases to amaze me that we have time for such inanimate things as pieces of mail, hours of surfing the internet, playing video games and watching television, but when it comes to taking time for others, we are just “too busy”. And yet my Bible tells me that in the end, the mail, the computer and the T.V. are all going to burn away, and all that will remain are people – individuals created in the image of Almighty God and saved by the blood of the Lamb. Friends, if we don’t have time for people, then we are wasting the precious few years we have been given on this earth – years which God has given to us so that we may grow in our relationships with Him and with others.
Consider the life of Jesus. Think of how busy He was, teaching and healing; and yet as we contemplate His life through the Gospels, we discover that it was relationships which He spent the most time on. We read throughout the Gospels that Jesus spent hours in prayer, talking with His heavenly Father, oftentimes rising long before the sun. I know that steps on my toes when I read that. Many of us find it inconvenient to get up that early. But to Jesus, developing a relationship with God was more important than getting a few extra minutes of sleep. Can I hear an amen to that today?
And when it came to people, Jesus always took time for the “inconveniences”, the “interruptions” to His day. We read a remarkable account of this in the Gospel of Mark, chapter 5, starting with verse 25. In this passage, Jesus has been called on an urgent errand: a young girl lies ready to die. There is no time to waste. Immediately Jesus and His disciples make their way, hindered by the pressing crowds. While this was happening, we read at verse 25 of Mark chapter 5… (read verses 25-34)
There really wasn’t time for Jesus to stop. But Jesus knew that relationships were more important than being busy, even if it was being busy for good; and so He stopped, taking valuable time for this “interruption”. What a remarkable example for us to follow – what a tremendous standard for us to attain.
Friends, we are always going to be busy. Work will never cease needing to be done. There will always be deadlines; the “inbox” will always be piled higher than the “outbox”. There will always be bills to pay; there will always be dishes to wash, and floors to sweep, and homework to do. But No one, looking back on their life, ever said, “I wish I’d spent more hours at the office”, or, “I wish I hadn’t spent that time with my kids instead of getting the housecleaning done.” In the end, it is time spent in relationships – with God and with others – that will make an eternal difference.
And so there is a call for us this morning. First, we are called to grow in our relationship with God. By spending time in prayer, personal devotional study, and corporate worship, we are to give Him our undivided attention so that we may know His love for us and His will for our lives, and so that we may gain the strength necessary to accomplish it. If you sense the need to commit yourself to a deeper relationship with God this morning, then you have an opportunity to do so just now.
And if you have realised this morning that you don’t know God’s people the way you should; if you’ve realised that you don’t know your husband, your children, your wife, your parents, friends and loved ones the way you should; if you’re not sure that they know you love them, and want to commit to growing in your relationships with them from this moment on, then this is a moment for you to make that commitment.
(Appeal and prayer)
