FREEDOM – Set Free From Anger
• Ephesians. 4:26-5:2 (NIV)
[26] "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, [27] and do not give the devil a foothold. [28] He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
[29] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. [31] Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. [32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
[5:1] Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children [2] and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
INTRODUCTION:
The Incredible Hulk “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” – David Banner. This character believed the perception that anger is a monster within us that does terrible things.
Would you like to be set free from anger? We all have times when we become angry. How are we to handle our anger?
Architect’s Design
1. Anger is a normal God-given emotion!
a) Some of you will take an important step toward freedom from anger just by learning that simple lesson. GOD CREATED YOU WITH THE CAPACITY OF ANGER.
b) The emotional response of anger is NOT a sin because even God gets angry. God is not void of emotion. The difference between God and man is not that God does not feel anger and we do; rather the difference is found in how God and man respond to the emotion of anger.
• Psalm 30:5 (NIV)
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime.
• Psalm 85:3 (NIV)
You set aside all your wrath and turned from your fierce anger.
• Psalm 86:15 (NIV)
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
c) Even Jesus became angry, YET HE DID NOT SIN! We most often think of Jesus being angry when He cleansed the temple, but that is not the only time Jesus was ever angry.
o In Mark 3 Jesus is at the temple on the Sabbath; the Pharisees and religious leaders were watching to see if Jesus would perform a miracle on the Sabbath. A man with a shriveled hand was there. Jesus asked them, “What is legal on the Sabbath, to do good or evil, to save life or kill?” They refused to answer him. “He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.” (Mark 3:5 NIV)
d) Freedom from anger is found when we learn to control our anger expressing it in healthy and constructive ways like Jesus.
2. Anger is a POWERFUL emotion that motivates us to action.
a) Dr. David Seamands said “Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it is very questionable whether you really love righteousness. To not express anger is to not be human."
b) Basically there are two typical ways we show our anger. Anger can be EXPRESSED, or anger can be REPRESSED. Sometimes repressed anger may be expressed like an EXPLOSION.
c) While we have been created in the image of God with the capacity to use our anger to right wrongs and overcome evil, sin has distorted that image within us. Sin keeps us from having a healthy response to our anger. Our anger becomes misdirected and misused because all too often our anger only leads to sin.
d) Psychologists label anger in four ways.
o Maniac, this is the person who just let’s their anger explode. Anger is expressed with no thought of the consequences; you just blow up and can pick up the pieces later.
o Mute this person represses their anger deeply. Instead of exploding they implode holing anger inside. Instead of expressing healthy anger, the mute bottles anger inside and pretends as if nothing is wrong. This person is determined never to “get angry.”
o Martyr, this is the person who is always throwing a pity party. They are like Eore from Winnie the Pooh. Eore expects to be disappointed and is okay with that. The martyr represses their anger until it is finally expressed as, you guessed it, depression.
o Manipulator, this person is the exploiter. They have the passive aggressive personality and will manipulate circumstances to their advantage. The Manipulator is an expert at making other people feel guilty. Their motto is simply, “I don’t get mad, I just get even.”
d) Freedom from anger, whether you typically express or repress your anger (or even if you your anger explodes), freedom from anger begins when you recognize that anger is part of the ARCHITECTS DESIGN. Anger is a normal God-given emotion.
3. Make the connection! Because we are made in the image of God we should learn to handle our anger just like God.
a) Paul tells the Ephesian church how to manage their anger. The nine verses we began with this morning can be boiled down to three.
• Ephesians 4:26, 5:1, 2 (NIV)
"In your anger do not sin". . . [5:1] Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children [2] and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
b) Notice the “therefore.” In light of everything we just said about anger and how to effectively control your anger do these things. Be an imitator of God. Live a live of love just like Jesus.
c) Jesus was angry and never sinned. If we are going to be set free from anger, then we need to understand the architects design. The only way we will not sin when we are angry is to learn that anger is a:
Necessary Warning Signal 26, 27
• Ephesians. 4:26 (NIV)
[26] "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
1. Anger is not sin, but it warns us that sin is not far away. Anger acts as a warning light telling us that we are getting close to sin.
a) "In your anger do not sin." You will be set free from anger when you learn that anger in itself is not a sin. Rather it is what you do with your anger that determines whether you have sinned or not.
b) Some people mistakenly believe that anger is one of the “seven deadly sins.” If you are an angry person, then God can’t love you until you get rid of your anger. Folks that’s not true!
• Proverbs 6:16-19 (NIV)
[16] There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: [17] haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, [18] a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, [19] a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
c) Anger is not one of these seven sins that are detestable to God. BUT UNCONTROLLED ANGER CAN LEAD TO ALL SEVEN, if you don’t learn to see anger as a waning sign pointing to the danger of sin that is at your side.
o Anger can lead to a heart full of pride.
o Anger can cause you your tongue to be full of lies.
o Anger can bring your hands to shed innocent blood.
o Anger leads the heart to invent all kinds of evil schemes
o Anger can make your feet run to evil.
o Anger can cause you to speak lies about other people.
o Anger can cause division and stir up strife between people.
2. Because anger is a warning signal that sin is near, ANGER MUST BE RESOLVED QUICKLY.
a) “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Paul encourages us to resolve our anger before the day is over. Don’t sleep on it; resolve your anger!
b) While anger is a normal God-given emotion; IT IS NOT A PERMANENT EMOTION. We are not to always be angry. Get over it quickly and move on.
c) Jesus did not allow Himself to be trapped by anger. His anger motivated Him to action, but then He would simply let it go. Notice the contrast between Jesus anger and the healing of the cripple and blind.
• Matthew 21:12-14 (NIV)
[12] Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. [13] "It is written," he said to them, " ’My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a ’den of robbers.’"
[14] The blind and the lame came to him AT THE TEMPLE, and he healed them.
d) Jesus didn’t hold on to His anger, but was able to let it go. In this way was free to have compassion upon those who were in need and He healed them.
e) HOW MIGHT WE HAVE RESPONDED IF WE WERE IN JESUS’ SANDALS? If I were Jesus after cleansing the temple I would have been likely to tell the blind and lame to come back some other time because I’m just too upset to help them right now. Or worse my anger might have even spilled over onto those who came for help. “Who do you think you are always coming to the temple looking for a hand out?”
f) Freedom from anger begins with understanding that anger is part of the architect’s design, that anger is a necessary warning sign equipping us to:
Guard against explosive sin 28-29
• Ephesians. 4:27-29 (NIV)
[27] And do not give the devil a foothold. [28] He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
[29] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
1. Unresolved anger is an invitation to more and more sin.
a) When we hold onto anger we give Satan a foothold in our lives. Put simply the devil will start to push our buttons.
b) Anger will cause us to do and say things we normally would not.
o In the Ephesian church people were getting upset with one another, so instead of meeting one another’s needs they began to just look out for themselves even taking things that didn’t belong to them. Wrong actions only escalated the bad talk among the members of the church. Unresolved anger was creating more and more problems.
c) Unresolved anger causes us to ask: What is best for me? Anger increases our self awareness with all of our wants and needs (anger causes us to see our wants as needs—these are the things we deserve and are entitled to). Therefore we are less concerned about what is right or best for others.
• Proverbs 14:17 (NIV)
A quick-tempered man does foolish things.
• Proverbs 29:22 (NIV)
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.
2. When Satan gets a foothold in your life through anger you are liable to do and say lots of things that you latter regret.
a) Don’t let the devil gain control of you through a bad temper. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE HOW TO RESPOND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY. MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES!
ILLUSTRATION: How often have you been involved in an argument at home and then the phone rings or someone knocks at the door. Or how about when you are fighting in the car on the way to church and then suddenly you turn into the church parking lot. Suddenly you are able to control yourself when other people are around!
• Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
b) Don’t get caught up in the escalation of sin when anger is unleashed. Learn to see anger as a warning sing and guard against the explosive sin that can accompany anger.
3. Remember the story of Cain and Able? Cain let anger get a foothold in his life so he made the wrong choices.
a) Cain and his brother Able both offered sacrifices to the Lord. Cain, a farmer by trade, offered the first fruits of the harvest. Able, a shepherd, offered a lamb. God accepted Able’s sacrifice by not Cain’s; therefore Cain despised his brother.
• Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)
[6] Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? [7] If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
b) Cain did not heed God’s warning. Cain held on to his anger and sin quickly mastered him. Instead of doing what was right, and Cain knew what God wanted him to do, Cain killed his brother. Sin exploded in Cain’s life.
c) Anger is a warning sin that sin is crouching at the door and wants to destroy us. Stand guard against the explosive nature of sin and master it with God’s help. Just as God directed Cain to do what was right, the Lord will show us how to steer clear of sin.
Emptiness
• Ephesians. 4:30 (NIV)
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
1. Unresolved anger will leave you feeling empty inside because your anger is separating you from God.
a) Unresolved anger causes a chasm to form between you and God. The longer you leave your anger unresolved the wider and deeper the separation becomes.
b) The Holy Spirit dwells and lives within the heart of every believer. When we become angry the Spirit wants to help us to have a healthy response to our anger, but when we resist the prompting of the Holy Spirit and leave our anger unresolved, the Spirit is grieved. The Holy Spirit is further saddened when we give into sin.
c) Satan will seek to justify our burst of anger. The devil wants to do all he can to continue to pull you away from God.
2. Break free from the devil’s empty trap of anger!
a) Satan is powerless to separate you from God, but you give him power to hold you captive to sin when you don’t resolve your anger in a healthy way.
b) The Holy Spirit wants to bring us back into fellowship with God; the Spirit wants to fill the emptiness within our hearts, BUT THE CHOICE IS OURS.
c) Unresolved anger is extremely dangerous because when the devil gains a foothold in our lives our hearts become hardened to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Thus it can become a cycle of anger, sin and further separation from God.
• Hebrews 4:6-7 (NIV)
[6] It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. [7] Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before:
"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."
d) Don’t let your heart become hardened by disobedience and sin. Hear the voice of the Spirit. Repent of your sin; release your anger. God will fill the emptiness of your heart and give you a new start.
3. You can be set free from anger if you choose to listen to the voice of the Spirit and do not harden your heart.
a) Stop justifying your anger. Stop making excuses for your frustration and your rage. Stop rationalizing what you say and do.
b) Don’t give the devil a foothold; don’t let your heart be hardened. Let the Holy Spirit set you free from your anger as you respond to His voice.
c) Anger is part of the Architect’s design; we can be angry and not sin. We can recognize that anger is a Necessary warning sign that sin is nearby. Therefore, we will Guard our hearts from the explosive sin that comes from unresolved anger. And we will know that God can and will fill the Emptiness in our hearts from unresolved anger when we listen to the Holy Spirit and:
Replace Unresolved Anger 31-32
• Ephesians. 4:31-32 (NIV)
[31] Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. [32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
1. Paul makes it abundantly clear. WE CANNOT HOLD ON TO OUR ANGER.
a) Anger must be resolved and replaced. “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting and profane talk.” (MsgB) Stop the fights; end the arguments. Your anger has to go.
b) Anger should be replaces with kindness, compassion and forgiveness. These are three keys to being set free from anger.
o KINDNESS—Learn to be helpful; do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. Be gentle both in what you do and what you say. Show some thoughtfulness by thinking about others instead of only yourself. Be considerate and caring.
o COMPASSION—Think about how others have been hurt from your unresolved anger; what wounds have you caused by an outburst of anger and rage? Show sympathy for other people by learning to identify with their pain and do whatever you can to bring healing to their hearts.
o FORGIVENESS—Don’t hold on to bitterness and resentment; these are just a breeding ground for more anger. Forgive as Christ forgave you; forgive without strings attached; forgive unconditionally. Forgiveness is an act of love for others.
2. God has given you the power of choice. You can choose to break free from unresolved anger by replacing it with things that are in keeping with the architect’s design.
a) We have come full circle. You replace your anger by understanding that anger in itself is a natural God-given emotion, but you don’t have to lash out in anger. You can choose to be like God and let love direct what you say and do.
• James 1:19-20 (NIV)
[19] My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [20] for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
b) Don’t let anger drive you. Stay in the driver’s seat listening to the instruction of the Holy Spirit. Let God direct your response and not your anger. You can be free from the grip of anger; FREE TO LIVE THE RIGHTEOUS LIFE GOD HAS DESIGNED FOR YOU TO LIVE.
3. To be set free from our anger it must be replaced with kindness, compassion and forgiveness.
a) How can we learn to be free from our anger?
b) Here are five questions you can ask about your anger that will help you be set free from unresolved anger and to replace it with those things that will honor God.
o Is your anger directed toward a person? God wants us to love people; even our enemies. We need to be careful not to direct our anger at people. Anger should be directed to right a wrong or stop evil and sin in its tracks. Make sure your anger is not directed toward a person.
o Is your anger misplaced or misdirected? Do you know what the root of your anger is? What is the source? When you stop to recognize the cause of your anger you may realize that it is impossible for you to do anything about it; that will make it easy to let go of your anger.
o Is your anger that which seeks revenge? If you want to get even, then you anger is directed at a person. No matter what that person may have done or said it is not your place to execute judgment upon them. Leave vengeance in God’s hands. Forgive and move on.
o Is your anger cherished? Do you continue to get angry about the same things? Maybe your problem is that you enjoy it and you want to control or manipulate people or circumstances. Let go of your pride and break free of your anger.
o Is your anger unforgiving? Who is it that at the mention of their name you are instantly angry? That person doesn’t even have to be in the room and your blood begins to boil just thinking about them. It’s time to let your wrath subside and learn how to forgive.
ILLUSTRATION: FOREST GUMP - One of the central characters, Jenny, returns to her old home after her father had died. The farmhouse is dilapidated and abandoned.
As she reflects on the sexual abuse that she endured as a child, she is overcome by rage and begins throwing rocks at the house until she falls to the ground in exhaustion.
The scene close with Forrest Gump sympathizing, "Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks."
You have to let go of your anger and replace it. Let kindness, compassion and forgiveness fill your heart instead of anger. There will never be enough rocks, but there will always be more than enough love.
