1. Title: Selfishness or Servanthood – Who’s Winning In Your Home?
2. Text: John 13, Luke 22:25-27
3. Audience: Villa Heights Christian Church, AM crowd, May 7, 2006, 2nd in the series “Family Made For Heaven”
4. Objectives:
-for the people to understand the many ways we can be selfish and how many areas of our life where that can surface; to understand that selfishness is outside the character of the Christian, and destructive to all our relationships
-for the people to feel confident that servanthood is better than selfishness, and not to be feared by rather embraced
-for the people to examine themselves for any self-serving attitudes and to replace those with the attitude of servanthood seen in Jesus
5. When I finish my sermon I want my audience to embrace servanthood over selfishness in light of God’s plan for their lives and to find just how rewarding that is for their lives at home and in the Church
6. Type: topical
7. Dominant Thought: When we begin to live for God, our selfish lifestyle is replaced with a lifestyle of servanthood.
8. Outline:
Intro: I remember being at a wedding – in fact it was my own, and I remember the minister – who was my dad, saying to us in the message on our wedding day, that most every problem that develops between a husband and wife can be traced back to selfishness.
I listened to on that occasion, May 30. 20 years later, I still see the great truth in that statement. In fact, as I look at life in a family, and in the Family of God, and in the world in general, I see how selfishness is one of the most basic causes of problems between people everywhere. Wouldn’t you agree?
Most of us have experienced selfishness – that is, we know what it’s like to be around someone who’s selfish. And, most of us are pretty good at knowing what selfishness looks like – when it’s someone else doing it, at least!
(picture of suckling piglets)
So I want to address that problem in our homes today, and I want to give the biblical alternative that will right away prevent most of the wrongs brought into our lives by selfishness.
But first, let’s see if we even have a selfishness problem or not. This is audience interactive time. In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, the guy who does “You might be a Redneck if…” is this useful list, “You might be selfish if...” So, just listen, and you judge whether or not this sounds like you. If so, you might be selfish.
You might be selfish if…
• You have a genuinely difficult time letting someone else have the remote control
• You pick up the last piece of chicken, take a bite out of it, hold it up and say, “Does anybody want this?”
• You know all the words to the song “I Did It My Way.”
• You have a lifetime subscription to “Self” magazine
• You rush to be the first in line at a funeral procession
• Your favorite picture at home is the mirror
• You’re on a date and say, “Enough talk about me…let’s talk about what you think of me.”
• You’re a baby, a toddler, a preadolescent, a teenager, or an adult male or female
If you find that any of this applies to you, it’s important to understand that…
I. By Nature, Live for SELF
The reason that so many of those things hit close to home is because we’re born self-serving creatures. From the day we’re born, our worlds revolve around ourselves. That’s where we get things like the…
Toddler Property Laws
If I like it, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a while ago, it’s mine.
If I say it is mine, it’s mine.
If it looks like mine, it’s mine.
If I say I saw it first, it’s mine.
If you’re having fun with it, it’s mine.
If you lay it down, it’s mine.
If it is broken, it’s yours.
That’s the nature of a baby – and it’s also the nature of what the Bible calls “the flesh.” As we grow, we mature, and we learn to overcome that self-serving nature. At least, we’re supposed to. But if someone hasn’t been given a reason and the means to overcome being a self server, they end up sounding like a song by the Nelson Brothers. Apparently there’s this poor guy who has a self-centered girlfriend, and he’s tired of her always directing the conversation to her favorite subject…herself! So the song goes:
Enough about you baby-let’s talk about me
You don’t even have a clue lately what I really need
You forgot how to listen
That’s what I’m missin’
And I just wanna scream “Enough about you, Baby,
Let’s talk about me!
Let’s talk about me!”
Me, Me, Me, Me, Me-Yeah
Enough about you, Baby.
See, that guy is a bore. A bore is someone who spends so much time talking about himself that you can’t talk about yourself.
Philippians 2:21
For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.
Now, that’s the logical place for someone who’s controlled by what comes naturally - the flesh. Until there’s something else in our lives in control, we’re going to be controlled by a flesh whose #1 priority is self-preservation and satisfaction. Paul makes a list of the works or acts of the flesh. Listen to how ME-centered this list in Galatians sounds:
Galatians 5:19-21
The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Right at the root of all of that is a person who has refused to have God in control of his life and has placed self on the throne instead. Selfishness.
Stop and consider what the #1 priority in your home is. Stop and give some thought this morning to the tension level, the kindness or lack of it, then listen to James. Now, James is written to Christians, but the Christians he’s addressing are obviously struggling with selfishness and all that comes from it:
James 4:1-4
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
Eugene Peterson, Earth and Altar - If I am an atheist in my heart, making myself sovereign in place of God, and therefore arranging things in accordance with my appetites and needs and fantasies, I become a pirate in society. I relentlessly look for ways in which I can get what is there for my own uses with no regard for what anyone else gets. If I am an atheist in my heart, it is not long before I have become a cancer in the gut of the country.
We shouldn’t be shocked by non-believers who are selfish. What ought to surprise us is the way so many people outside the church seem to top us when it comes to humanitarian efforts. Unless our lives are directed by something higher, we’ll naturally live for ourselves.
Ephesians 2:3
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
But there’s a difference in the person who makes the change of ownership in life.
II. In Christ, Live for HIM, not Self
You and I both know that being in Christ means we’re different in this way. We’re not supposed to live for ourselves anymore.
Just the same, we struggle with the old person we’re trying to cease to be. Listen to the honesty of Henri Nouwen as he wrote in his diary:
I love Jesus, but want to hold on to my own friends even when they do not lead me closer to Jesus. I love Jesus, but want to hold on to my own independence even when it brings me no real freedom. I love Jesus, but do not want to lose the respect of my professional colleagues even though their respect does not make me grow spiritually. I love Jesus, but do not want to give up my writing, travel, and speaking plans even when they are often more to my glory than God’s.
There shouldn’t be selfishness in the Church. There shouldn’t be. But could it be that sometimes we let the selfishness that comes to us so naturally to creep into even our attitudes about the Church?
(Play the Me-Church video here)
Now, first of all, if you watch that video and you’re saying, “What? What?” then you really need to listen carefully today! Hopefully you get the point. Being in Christ means there’s a change - that we no longer live just following physical cravings. In Colossians, it’s called the “earthly nature”:
Colossians 3:5-9
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.
If you’re a Christian, and you’re not any different than where you were before, something’s wrong. If you’re living a life that’s full of those selfish features, something’s wrong. You need to reassess who’s in charge in your life. Your reason for existing isn’t just all about you.
You know, we’re surrounded by a spiritual world, filled with powerful beings, including angels. They’re amazing. They have amazing power, and amazing responsibilities. But do you realize that they don’t exist to serve themselves? Their whole existence is about service – to God, and to you and me.
Have you read from the prophets lately? Isaiah, Daniel, Amos, Micah? Isn’t it amazing how the Holy Spirit used them to tell about the future of Israel, and also to talk about the future appearance of Jesus, and even about His return that we’re waiting for? But do you realize that every one of those prophets - no matter how hard they looked for it or tried to understand it - every one of them couldn’t tell when Jesus would come. Instead ”…it was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke.” (I Pt 1:12)
God gave people to serve as leaders in His Church: some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers. But the point wasn’t for them to be exalted or to wield lordship. The point was for works of service to be done.
Peter tells the elders of the church:
1 Peter 5:2-3
Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers--not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
Jesus Himself said He did not come to earth to be served but rather to serve.
Romans 15:1
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.
1 Corinthians 10:24
Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.
Do you see a pattern here? Being in Christ means I live for Him, not myself.
Now, let’s take this home today…
III. In Our Homes – Who Will Win?
Will it be servanthood or selfishness? The way I understand it, it depends on 2 choices you have:
It depends:
1. For Whom will you live?
Who are you gonna live for? If the answer is “me,” then you’ve already determined who’s going to win in your home.
Romans 6:16
Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey--whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?
There’s no 3rd choice on this one. You either serve God with your life, or your serving yourself and being used by the devil for his purposes.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15
For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
Romans 14:7-8
For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
Those are the sentiments of a Christ-follower. Is that you? Who are you going to live for?
The 2nd decision is:
2. Whose example will you follow?
I know this sounds like one of those obvious, Sunday School answers, but I think it’s worth the effort. There’s a lot about the example of Jesus we can’t copy – we can’t be born of a virgin in fulfillment of prophecy; we can’t raise the dead; we can’t die on a cross and rise from the dead. I’m sorry, but WWJD doesn’t always work. But on this subject of serving, there’s an example for us to follow.
Philippians 2:1-5
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
in Christ, real greatness comes from service. After He washed His disciples’ feet, Jesus said to them:
John 13:13-17
"You call me ’Teacher’ and ’Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Conclusion:
So, who’s gonna win?
In your home – is it going to be people just living together getting in one another’s way, on each others’ nerves, and messing up each other’s plans, or is it going to be people looking out for each other, and looking for ways to help one another be what God wants us to be?
Today, you decide who’s going to win in your home: selfishness or servanthood.
