Be Righteous Not Self-Righteous
Matthew 7:1-6
When you watch American Idol, do you sit there and criticize the singing ability of people who have made it to the finals, when you have never sung anywhere but in your shower with only God and the dog having to listen to you?
Men, do you criticize your wife’s cooking when you are too lazy to even boil an egg?
Women, do you complain about the lack of money your husband makes when there are 25 pairs of shoes collecting dust in your closet?
Kids, do you consider your parents old-fashioned and out-of-touch when they set rules and give directions and yet you failed at your one attempt to take care of the pet gold-fish and eventually hade to flush it down the toilet?
Teenagers do you find it incredible boring and silly when old people repeat the same stories over and over again, and yet you don’t see anything wrong with reciting the same stupid line from some TV show or movie over and over again?
Have you ever jumped to conclusions, or assumed something about another person before having the full facts only to feel foolish when you finally were given all of the information.
I remember when Michael was young and on the local little league team, I used to get really irritated with some of the calls made by the umpire. Though I was never one of those parents, and there were some around, who called the umpire names or yelled at him for his calls, often in my heart I would judge the skills and the integrity of the umpire. Then one day the umpire was sick and the coach recruited me to step in and umpire the game. Suddenly I had a whole different perspective stooping down behind the catcher at home plate. I remember making one terrible call, and receiving some pretty harsh criticism from a dad in the stands. I felt terrible. I had done my best, and all I could feel was condemnation from this mad father.
Maybe you have had a similar experience.
How many here have ever been judged based upon rumors and half-truths?
How many here have been judged based upon how you looked, or what you were wearing?
How many here have felt the sting of being pre-judged by someone who really didn’t know you or who didn’t have all the facts?
Now, how many of us here have ever done the same thing to someone else?
We make judgments all the time. We get mad at the person driving too slowly, without any knowledge of what has been occurring in their lives, or if they might have any physical limitations. We pre-judge people based upon what kind of house they live in, how they talk, where they are from, and so on. And all of this pre-judging is simply prejudice.
Jesus had some fairly strong words about this kind of attitude in His Sermon on the Mount. It is a familiar passage to many, including many non-believers. And it is often completely misinterpreted or misunderstood. So we need to take time today to make sure we understand what Jesus meant.
Turn with me to Matthew 7:1-6
"Stop judging others and you will not be judged, for others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ’Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
"Don’t give what is holy to unholy people. Don’t give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
Our theme this morning is this:
Jesus calls us to self-examination before loving confrontation.
1. We are to guard against developing a critical spirit
2. We are to deal with our own sins first
3. We are to use wise discernment when lovingly sharing truth
Let’s look at each of these points one at a time. Look again at verses 1 and 2.
"Stop judging others and you will not be judged, for others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged.
We are to guard against developing a critical spirit
Jesus begins by saying: Don’t judge people or you will be judged. What does the word ‘judge’ mean? Is Jesus saying that we are never to make judgments of any kind? Are we just to go through life and let whatever happens to us happen? And are we to ignore when others are endangering themselves or others?
Of course not!
If I see someone who is clearly drunk leaving a bar and struggling with their keys preparing to drive themselves home – I need to make a judgment and offer to give them a ride. If I don’t, I am placing them and others in danger.
If I have a loved one who is addicted to drugs and I just take the attitude; “Live and let live. It’s there problem, I’m not going to get involved.” Then I am doing the opposite of what Jesus meant here.
There are times that it is appropriate and right to make judgments. I do not leave my 5 year old child with a strange man on a park bench. I need to use discernment and wisdom in all situations.
That is not what Jesus is talking about. We all make judgments. What He is talking about is the kind of judgmental, pre-judicial, critical attitudes that we make about people. Jesus is talking about the attitude that we sometimes develop with people where we put ourselves in the place of God and become judge and jury condemning them without any of the wisdom and complete knowledge that God alone possesses. Only God has the full picture, and when we judge someone based upon our incomplete picture we have taken the place of God.
When we jump to conclusions, or when we refuse to listen to another person without hearing their side of the story, or when we develop an attitude towards a person based only on our limited experience with them – then we are not acting like men, but we are attempting to be God. And that is what Jesus condemns.
There was a newspaper reporter who wanted to write an article about the problem of laziness among southern men. One day he saw a man sitting in his field, sitting in a chair and hoeing the weeds. The reporter thought, “Wow! I’ve found a great illustration of the kind of laziness I have been looking for.” So he rushed onto the field hoping to interview the lazy man, but as he approached the man in the chair he noticed that this man was tilling the ground with the hoe, and that he had no legs. Suddenly his pre-judgment of this man as a lazy southerner turned around to be a story about a man’s courage to still work the land despite his handicap.
I Samuel 16:7 says: “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Only God has the full picture. Only God knows all of the facts, and history, and circumstances and feelings and struggles that may have entered in to a person’s actions or attitudes. When we judge another person we put ourselves in the place of God.
Notice how Jesus puts it. “Be careful what measure you use to judge other people, because that same measurement is going to be used on you.” (By both people and God)
A good example of this is my frustrating tendency towards perfectionism. You know perfectionists can get very frustrated with people who don’t do things perfectly. But that same measurement is often used on them selves and they become increasingly frustrated with their own ability to do it perfectly.
Instead we are to be motivated by love. Love believes the best. Love forgives. Love is long-suffering. Love bears up under wrongs. Love is gracious and kind and patient.
God is all of these things towards us. He knows us inside out. He sees the ugliness in our lives, the secret sins of the mind and heart, and the grotesque attitudes we have towards people – and yet he forgives us, He gives us mercy and He always supplies His grace.
How can we treat people so poorly when God does not treat us that way (though we deserve to be punished for our sins)?
So what should we do instead?
- Work at believing the best in others
- Give people the benefit of the doubt
- Resist reacting without the facts
- Make sure to listen to all sides
- And when you may be right in your ‘judgment’, choose to show mercy, grace and forgiveness.
Remember:
Jesus calls us to self-examination before loving confrontation
The second principle from this sermon can be found in verses 3 to 5.
And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ’Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
We are to deal with our own sins first
Jesus displays a great sense of humor here by portraying a pretty absurd picture of a man with this huge 2x4 sticking out of his eye. The man completely ignores the log, not even aware that he has this huge monstrosity sticking out for everyone to see. Instead he is focused on his friends little speck of dust that he has in the corner of his eye.
The man is a little like the kindergarten boy, Andrew, who was showing his uncle his class picture. ‘This is Robert. He hits everyone. And this is Stephen. He never listens to the teacher. And this is Mark. He chases everyone and is very noisy. And this is me. I just sit and mind my own business.”
I bet the teacher of the class may have a completely different perspective of her students.
We don’t see ourselves very clearly, do we? We can have a very, distorted picture of who we really are. And even when we take a long-hard look at ourselves, we don’t always see what others see. And we definitely do not have the full picture that God has of us.
I want you to notice from this illustration of Jesus that both men need help. Both the one with the splinter and the one with the log have something in their eye. Their vision is hindered. They are in pain. They could both use some help getting the wood out.
Notice too that both are unaware of the problem. They may feel the pain created by the wood in their eye, but they do know why they are in pain or how to fix it.
Jesus is all for these two individuals getting the help they need. But Jesus does not want the one may to approach it with a judgmental, holier-than-thou attitude.
The first thing that needs to happen is for self-examination to occur. We all have sin in our lives. We all fall very short of God’s holy standard. We all have logs sticking out of our eyes. We must begin with a long-hard look at ourselves. We must search our hearts, and repent and confess any and all known sin. We must attempt to change and to grow. We need to see ourselves clearly in light of the Word of God and the Gospel of Christ.
Then and only then are we in a position to point out the sin in another person’s life.
I often find that the opposite happens. We get mad with someone, or we feel that someone is wrong. Before searching to see what part we may have played in the problem, or if we have all the facts, we often given knee jerk reactions. We call people names, or we shut them out of our lives, or we gossip about them behind their backs. This is the log in our own eyes.
What about you?
- Have you been sitting in judgment over someone?
- Have you taken sides, or shut someone out of your life without having all of the facts?
- Have you attempted to look at your own life and what needs to change?
- Have you prayed about it and asked God to help remove the logs that are in your eyes?
These are the things that must occur first.
Remember:
Jesus calls us to self-examination before loving confrontation
So far we have seen that Jesus calls us to guard again developing a critical spirit, and that we are to deal with our own sin problem first.
Now the third and final lesson from this sermon is found in verse 6:
"Don’t give what is holy to unholy people. Don’t give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
We are to use wise discernment when lovingly sharing truth
The other extreme interpretation of this passage is that we should never judge or confront anyone about sin. Live and let live. Show tolerance for everything.
Our culture has walked down the path of ‘mind your own business’ to the point of ignoring those who are doing harm to themselves either through destructive lifestyles or sinful actions.
Is there ever a time to talk to a person about their problem? Can we confront someone without slipping into being judgmental?
The answer is YES!
If a parent suspects his son or daughter is involved in a destructive activity, it is important for the parent to loving confront the child, get the facts, and deal with it.
If a friend is headed down a path of destruction, the real friend will speak up about it in a loving and truthful way.
But here is the point Jesus is trying to make. We must exercise wisdom and discernment when confronting others with truth. We must find the right time and the right place. We must approach it with a spirit of prayer and self-examination. We must get the facts straight. Then and only then should we ‘speak the truth in love’.
Paul wrote: “You who are spiritual should restore those who have fallen into sin.” There needs to be a maturity and a sensitivity that comes with this kind of loving confrontation.
Otherwise, we are simply casting pears before swine.
What does Jesus mean by this? There are times your good intentions can have the opposite effect. There are times when you seek to help and speak truth to a person, but they aren’t ready to receive it, and you end up only doing more harm than good.
Perhaps you have experienced this. You have tried to help in a situation, but the person got mad at you and stopped talking to you and perhaps dove even deeper into their problem of sin.
If that has happened to you, look at yourself. What could you have said or done differently? Was it the right time? Was the person ready to listen? Did you have all of the facts?
Many of our personal relationship problems would be averted if we would slow down, and take the time to listen.
I think that is also why the next segment in the Sermon on the Mount deals with prayer and the Holy Spirit. We need to ask for the discernment and wisdom needed. We need the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
And finally Jesus sums it all up by saying this in verse 12:
"Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
How would you like to be treated? How would you like to be talked to? What kind of help would really help you to grow?
Remember:
Jesus calls us to self-examination before loving confrontation
We are to guard against developing a critical spirit
We are to deal with our own sins first
We are to use wise discernment when lovingly sharing truth
