Forgiveness Given and Received
Matthew 6:9-15
Please stand with me as we read together this morning’s very familiar text. It is a prayer, and so we can read it like a prayer to God today.
Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored.
May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done here on earth, just as it is in heaven.
Give us our food for today,
and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:9-15
There is so much we could discuss concerning the Lord’s Prayer. We could look at the topic of holiness and how our heavenly Father is to be honored and glorified by our words and by our actions. We could discuss the kingdom of God and how our prayers should be centered on seeing God’s Kingdom established here on earth as it is in heaven. We could talk about our need for the bread of life and how we desperately need to hear from God each and every day. We could also look at the importance of living the victorious life, and that we need protection from the evil one.
But what stands out when you look at these words of Jesus recorded in the book of Matthew, is that Jesus wanted to focus on the topic of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a topic of great importance to all of us. We all understand that we are sinners, and that our sin has separated us from the love of God. We know that sin causes death, and that our sins brought death to Christ on the cross. When we look at our own lives, we appreciate and give thanks to God for all He has given us in Jesus.
But when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt us, the idea of forgiving as God has forgiven us comes with a whole lot of baggage. Every person in this room has been deeply hurt by someone. Perhaps it was a parent or a child or another family member. Perhaps it was a close friend, a co-worker, or a neighbor. But what we all know is that you can’t live on this sin-soaked planet inhabited by sin-stained people for very long without having your heart broken. Sin hurts, and we have all been hurt by the sin of others.
To accept and know the forgiveness of God is a wonderful thing. We can only receive it when our eyes are open to see the awfulness of our sin, and the greatness of God’s love and mercy towards us. But to give someone who has hurt us this same forgiveness, love and mercy requires a dramatic change in us.
Jesus says there is a connection. Jesus says you can’t talk about the forgiveness of God without talking about the forgiveness of others. And so our theme this morning is this:
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
To put it another way:
Receiving forgiveness is linked to giving forgiveness!
Notice the Prayer taught by Jesus again:
Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
And to make sure there was no mistake about what Jesus was saying, He says it again:
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
1. What is forgiveness?
– To forgive is to let go, to cancel a debt, to pardon an offense. It is the granting of free pardon and the removal of any debt owed. It is the giving up of all claims for ‘payment’ of a sin that is committed.
– The words that Jesus used are in the imperative (meaning that it is a command, not an option) and in the aorist (meaning that it is a completed action, done fully, not partially)
Therefore, we could say that true biblical forgiveness goes well beyond simple words. It is the decision of the heart and mind to release a person from anything we think they deserve for the hurt they have caused. It is to let go of your desire for revenge. It is to fully ‘drop’ the issue and never raise it up again. It is to let go of the matter and give it over to God. Because it is in the aorist tense, Jesus indicates that when you forgive someone, the matter is done. It is over. Just as God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west, and just as He chooses to remember them no more, we also are to remove the matter from us and let it go from our memory.
Now let me explain this a little bit further:
- Forgiveness is NOT excusing sin. In fact it is the opposite. When you extend forgiveness to a person, you are in fact declaring that they have sinned against God and against you. They have done something wrong, and that is why you are forgiving them. It is not excusing the sin, but it IS a decision of the heart to bear the sting of the sin yourself. Let me say that again. When you forgive, you aren’t saying: “It’s OK.” In fact you are saying the opposite. You are saying: “It isn’t OK. You hurt me. But I choose to forgive you and to not hurt you back. I will treat you as if this never happened. Just as God treats me like I have never sinned.”
- You see the forgiver bears the consequences of the sin him or herself. They take that sin upon them, just as Jesus took our sins upon Him on the cross. \
- Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. You cannot wait until you feel like forgiving, because when you are hurt deeply those feelings may never come. You are commanded to forgive and therefore forgiveness is an act of obedience towards a loving and forgiving God. Therefore, forgiveness is always initiated by the one who has been wronged.
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”
“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and He gave His Son as a payment for our sins.”
- Forgiveness does not demand an apology or wait for repentance. If it did then forgiveness would be conditional upon a change occurring in the one who has offended or hurt us. But we did not change. We were still sinning and hurting God, and yet He chose to forgive us. He was satisfied with the penalty of Christ’s death on a cross. Can we ask anymore than the death of Christ which has paid for the sins of the whole world?
- Forgiveness is not given and then taken back. We may still struggle with our feelings of hurt for some time after we have forgiven someone. Memories may bring us back to that moment of pain. And old feelings of anger and retribution may rise up within us all over again. But if we have forgiven a person we will keep on forgiving them. In fact Jesus challenged Peter who wanted to put a limit on how much forgiveness was enough to give by saying this to Him in Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!
This same Peter would later write in 1 Peter 4:8
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
I mentioned a few weeks ago of an encounter I had at a Christmas Eve service with the man who did a lot of emotional damage to me as a child. I had forgiven this man in my heart when I had come to Christ as a teenager. Over the years I had learned to let it go. I did not want to get even. As far as I was concerned it was over. I had put it behind me.
But now here I was, about 20 years later and it was the first time I saw my abuser as an adult. As I mentioned a few weeks back, all of the old emotions came flooding into my heart once again. I was angry. I wanted him to suffer like I had suffered.
But then the Lord whispered into my heart His forgiveness of my sins. He reminded me that all of us have sinned. We’ve all done horrible things in our lives. We’ve hurt other people. I was forgiven by God. How could I refuse to forgive this man who God had forgiven? And so I prayed a prayer, and God gave me the ability to forgive once again.
To review:
To forgive is to let go, to cancel a debt, to pardon an offense. It is the granting of free pardon and the removal of any debt owed. It is the giving up of all claims for ‘payment’ of a sin that is committed.
- It is not excusing sin. It is bearing the pain yourself.
- It is not a feeling. It is an act of loving obedience.
- It doesn’t wait for the offender to come and ask. It initiates forgiveness.
- And once it is given. It isn’t taken back.
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
2. Why does Jesus link our receiving forgiveness to our giving of forgiveness?
Jesus very boldly declares: “We must forgive in order to be forgiven.” Don’t the scriptures state that we are saved by grace, that it is a gift of God, and that there isn’t any work we can do in order to receive salvation. The only condition for us to be saved is that we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and confess His Name.
So, why does Jesus say God won’t forgive us, if we don’t forgive others?
This is not the first time or last time that Jesus connects the receiving and giving of forgiveness together.
For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. (Matthew 7:2)
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." (Mark 11:25)
You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13)
For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God’s mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. (James 2:13)
Perhaps the clearest illustration given by Christ was the story he told of the servant who was forgiven a huge debt, but refused to forgive a small debt owed to him. We see this story in Matthew 18:23-25
"For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down before the king and begged him, ’Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
"But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ’Be patient and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full.
"When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ’You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny.
"That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart."
Why is there this link between God’s forgiveness and my forgiveness? Let me suggest the following:
- When I am able to forgive others from my heart, I validate that I have received the Lord’s forgiveness. I am a believer. I have been changed, and because I have been touched by the Lord’s incredible mercy, I am able through His power mightily working in me in the person of the Holy Spirit to forgive those who hurt me.
- When I refuse to forgive others, I call into question my own salvation. Am I truly a believer? Have I received the mercy of God? Has my heart been changed? Am I a new creation? Have I truly accepted God’s grace and forgiveness myself?
- There is a difference between the one who says: “Yes, I am saved. I’ve just been hurt so deeply by this person, that I am finding it very hard to forgive them. But I know I must, and I am praying for the strength to forgive.”
And the one who says: “I’ve been hurt by this and I will never forgive them. I don’t care what God says and what other’s think. I refuse to forgive them.” Those responses indicate two very different hearts. One has been changed by God’s grace, and one has shut themselves off from God’s grace.
When we harbor an unforgiving spirit, we grieve God and His Holy Spirit. We shut ourselves off from God. He does not hear our prayers according to I Peter. And think about it for a moment. How can we truly have accepted Christ? How can we have humbled ourselves before the Father, and acknowledged that we are terrible sinners and that we deserve hell, but we are crying out for mercy? And then from that humble heart of contrition, turn around and refuse to forgive another sinner just like us? If we refuse, then perhaps we never really repented of our own sin, and never truly humbled ourselves before the cross of Christ?
Now realize that I understand forgiveness is a process, and getting over the hurt can take a very long time. But there is a big difference between a person who is struggling with forgiving someone, and a person who has hardened their heart and is refusing to forgive.
What this parable of Jesus teaches is that when we refuse to forgive another person, we are the one who is put in bondage.
Stormie Omartian very wisely wrote: ‘Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free.”
Are you harboring bitterness in your heart? Are you holding back forgiveness? You will wander far from God’s grace and you will live in misery.
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
3. How can we forgive when we have been deeply hurt?
First remember that “When God commands, God supplies the grace to obey.”
Perhaps the best illustration of this is Joseph. Remember how Joseph was hurt time and time again. First, by his brothers who almost killed him and then sold him into slavery. And then by Potiphar’s wife who wrongly accused him of immorality. And then by the fellow prisoners whom he helped be released, but who quickly forgot all that Joseph had done for them.
And then when Joseph had been many years removed from the pain and sorrow of those events, he encounters his brothers. I am sure all of the hurt and pain welled up inside of him. I am sure that for a moment he thought about revenge. We know that he tested his brothers to see if they could be trusted again. None of these things indicate a heart that is refusing to forgive.
Finally, in the hour of his revealing himself to his brothers he falls on their necks and kisses them. He tells them not to worry, all has been forgiven. What they meant for evil, God meant for good.
As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people. (Genesis 50:20)
What lessons can we learn from the life of Joseph? How can we learn to forgive?
- Focus on God’s amazing grace. How much did God forgive and continues to forgive in your life?
- Depend on God’s sovereignty. Though God never ordains that we sin, when sin occurs He can use it and turn it around and make something good out of it. God often uses suffering to purify us and to make us more like Christ. As Romans 8:28 says:
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
- Pray for the filling of God’s Holy Spirit and the fruit He produces. Remember most of the fruit of the spirit are relational terms. When we are filled (controlled and empowered) by God’s Holy Spirit, we are able to love with a First Corinthians kind of love. We are able to be patient and gentle and kind towards others. And we are able to exhibit self-control over our desire to get even or to seek revenge.
- Chose to obey God by faith. The whole Christian life is a walk of faith. We exhibit faith when we trust that God will right ever wrong, and that God will protect and defend us. We exhibit faith when we love instead of hate, when we have peace instead of anxiety, and when we are full of joy instead of bitterness.
- By faith give a blessing. Repay evil with good. Trust in God.
Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. (I Peter 3:8-9)
Let’s Pray:
- I want you to think of your own sin this morning. What has God forgiven in you? I want you to picture those sins, forever nailed to the cross of Christ.
- Now I want you to search your heart and ask God “Is there anyone I have been refusing to forgive?” When you have them in mind, I want you to pray and ask God to help you forgive that person. I want you to give that person over to God. I want you to release that person from any form of retribution. And when you have done that I want you to open your eyes and watch the screen behind me where you will see a visual picture of God’s forgiveness of us, and our forgiveness of others.. (the release of balloons)
At end of video pray.
Forgiveness Given and Received
Matthew 6:9-15
Please stand with me as we read together this morning’s very familiar text. It is a prayer, and so we can read it like a prayer to God today.
Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored.
May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done here on earth, just as it is in heaven.
Give us our food for today,
and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:9-15
There is so much we could discuss concerning the Lord’s Prayer. We could look at the topic of holiness and how our heavenly Father is to be honored and glorified by our words and by our actions. We could discuss the kingdom of God and how our prayers should be centered on seeing God’s Kingdom established here on earth as it is in heaven. We could talk about our need for the bread of life and how we desperately need to hear from God each and every day. We could also look at the importance of living the victorious life, and that we need protection from the evil one.
But what stands out when you look at these words of Jesus recorded in the book of Matthew, is that Jesus wanted to focus on the topic of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a topic of great importance to all of us. We all understand that we are sinners, and that our sin has separated us from the love of God. We know that sin causes death, and that our sins brought death to Christ on the cross. When we look at our own lives, we appreciate and give thanks to God for all He has given us in Jesus.
But when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt us, the idea of forgiving as God has forgiven us comes with a whole lot of baggage. Every person in this room has been deeply hurt by someone. Perhaps it was a parent or a child or another family member. Perhaps it was a close friend, a co-worker, or a neighbor. But what we all know is that you can’t live on this sin-soaked planet inhabited by sin-stained people for very long without having your heart broken. Sin hurts, and we have all been hurt by the sin of others.
To accept and know the forgiveness of God is a wonderful thing. We can only receive it when our eyes are open to see the awfulness of our sin, and the greatness of God’s love and mercy towards us. But to give someone who has hurt us this same forgiveness, love and mercy requires a dramatic change in us.
Jesus says there is a connection. Jesus says you can’t talk about the forgiveness of God without talking about the forgiveness of others. And so our theme this morning is this:
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
To put it another way:
Receiving forgiveness is linked to giving forgiveness!
Notice the Prayer taught by Jesus again:
Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
And to make sure there was no mistake about what Jesus was saying, He says it again:
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
1. What is forgiveness?
– To forgive is to let go, to cancel a debt, to pardon an offense. It is the granting of free pardon and the removal of any debt owed. It is the giving up of all claims for ‘payment’ of a sin that is committed.
– The words that Jesus used are in the imperative (meaning that it is a command, not an option) and in the aorist (meaning that it is a completed action, done fully, not partially)
Therefore, we could say that true biblical forgiveness goes well beyond simple words. It is the decision of the heart and mind to release a person from anything we think they deserve for the hurt they have caused. It is to let go of your desire for revenge. It is to fully ‘drop’ the issue and never raise it up again. It is to let go of the matter and give it over to God. Because it is in the aorist tense, Jesus indicates that when you forgive someone, the matter is done. It is over. Just as God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west, and just as He chooses to remember them no more, we also are to remove the matter from us and let it go from our memory.
Now let me explain this a little bit further:
- Forgiveness is NOT excusing sin. In fact it is the opposite. When you extend forgiveness to a person, you are in fact declaring that they have sinned against God and against you. They have done something wrong, and that is why you are forgiving them. It is not excusing the sin, but it IS a decision of the heart to bear the sting of the sin yourself. Let me say that again. When you forgive, you aren’t saying: “It’s OK.” In fact you are saying the opposite. You are saying: “It isn’t OK. You hurt me. But I choose to forgive you and to not hurt you back. I will treat you as if this never happened. Just as God treats me like I have never sinned.”
- You see the forgiver bears the consequences of the sin him or herself. They take that sin upon them, just as Jesus took our sins upon Him on the cross. \
- Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. You cannot wait until you feel like forgiving, because when you are hurt deeply those feelings may never come. You are commanded to forgive and therefore forgiveness is an act of obedience towards a loving and forgiving God. Therefore, forgiveness is always initiated by the one who has been wronged.
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”
“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and He gave His Son as a payment for our sins.”
- Forgiveness does not demand an apology or wait for repentance. If it did then forgiveness would be conditional upon a change occurring in the one who has offended or hurt us. But we did not change. We were still sinning and hurting God, and yet He chose to forgive us. He was satisfied with the penalty of Christ’s death on a cross. Can we ask anymore than the death of Christ which has paid for the sins of the whole world?
- Forgiveness is not given and then taken back. We may still struggle with our feelings of hurt for some time after we have forgiven someone. Memories may bring us back to that moment of pain. And old feelings of anger and retribution may rise up within us all over again. But if we have forgiven a person we will keep on forgiving them. In fact Jesus challenged Peter who wanted to put a limit on how much forgiveness was enough to give by saying this to Him in Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!
This same Peter would later write in 1 Peter 4:8
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
I mentioned a few weeks ago of an encounter I had at a Christmas Eve service with the man who did a lot of emotional damage to me as a child. I had forgiven this man in my heart when I had come to Christ as a teenager. Over the years I had learned to let it go. I did not want to get even. As far as I was concerned it was over. I had put it behind me.
But now here I was, about 20 years later and it was the first time I saw my abuser as an adult. As I mentioned a few weeks back, all of the old emotions came flooding into my heart once again. I was angry. I wanted him to suffer like I had suffered.
But then the Lord whispered into my heart His forgiveness of my sins. He reminded me that all of us have sinned. We’ve all done horrible things in our lives. We’ve hurt other people. I was forgiven by God. How could I refuse to forgive this man who God had forgiven? And so I prayed a prayer, and God gave me the ability to forgive once again.
To review:
To forgive is to let go, to cancel a debt, to pardon an offense. It is the granting of free pardon and the removal of any debt owed. It is the giving up of all claims for ‘payment’ of a sin that is committed.
- It is not excusing sin. It is bearing the pain yourself.
- It is not a feeling. It is an act of loving obedience.
- It doesn’t wait for the offender to come and ask. It initiates forgiveness.
- And once it is given. It isn’t taken back.
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
2. Why does Jesus link our receiving forgiveness to our giving of forgiveness?
Jesus very boldly declares: “We must forgive in order to be forgiven.” Don’t the scriptures state that we are saved by grace, that it is a gift of God, and that there isn’t any work we can do in order to receive salvation. The only condition for us to be saved is that we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and confess His Name.
So, why does Jesus say God won’t forgive us, if we don’t forgive others?
This is not the first time or last time that Jesus connects the receiving and giving of forgiveness together.
For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. (Matthew 7:2)
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." (Mark 11:25)
You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13)
For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God’s mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. (James 2:13)
Perhaps the clearest illustration given by Christ was the story he told of the servant who was forgiven a huge debt, but refused to forgive a small debt owed to him. We see this story in Matthew 18:23-25
"For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down before the king and begged him, ’Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
"But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ’Be patient and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full.
"When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ’You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny.
"That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart."
Why is there this link between God’s forgiveness and my forgiveness? Let me suggest the following:
- When I am able to forgive others from my heart, I validate that I have received the Lord’s forgiveness. I am a believer. I have been changed, and because I have been touched by the Lord’s incredible mercy, I am able through His power mightily working in me in the person of the Holy Spirit to forgive those who hurt me.
- When I refuse to forgive others, I call into question my own salvation. Am I truly a believer? Have I received the mercy of God? Has my heart been changed? Am I a new creation? Have I truly accepted God’s grace and forgiveness myself?
- There is a difference between the one who says: “Yes, I am saved. I’ve just been hurt so deeply by this person, that I am finding it very hard to forgive them. But I know I must, and I am praying for the strength to forgive.”
And the one who says: “I’ve been hurt by this and I will never forgive them. I don’t care what God says and what other’s think. I refuse to forgive them.” Those responses indicate two very different hearts. One has been changed by God’s grace, and one has shut themselves off from God’s grace.
When we harbor an unforgiving spirit, we grieve God and His Holy Spirit. We shut ourselves off from God. He does not hear our prayers according to I Peter. And think about it for a moment. How can we truly have accepted Christ? How can we have humbled ourselves before the Father, and acknowledged that we are terrible sinners and that we deserve hell, but we are crying out for mercy? And then from that humble heart of contrition, turn around and refuse to forgive another sinner just like us? If we refuse, then perhaps we never really repented of our own sin, and never truly humbled ourselves before the cross of Christ?
Now realize that I understand forgiveness is a process, and getting over the hurt can take a very long time. But there is a big difference between a person who is struggling with forgiving someone, and a person who has hardened their heart and is refusing to forgive.
What this parable of Jesus teaches is that when we refuse to forgive another person, we are the one who is put in bondage.
Stormie Omartian very wisely wrote: ‘Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free.”
Are you harboring bitterness in your heart? Are you holding back forgiveness? You will wander far from God’s grace and you will live in misery.
The experience of forgiveness is forever linked to the expression of forgiveness.
3. How can we forgive when we have been deeply hurt?
First remember that “When God commands, God supplies the grace to obey.”
Perhaps the best illustration of this is Joseph. Remember how Joseph was hurt time and time again. First, by his brothers who almost killed him and then sold him into slavery. And then by Potiphar’s wife who wrongly accused him of immorality. And then by the fellow prisoners whom he helped be released, but who quickly forgot all that Joseph had done for them.
And then when Joseph had been many years removed from the pain and sorrow of those events, he encounters his brothers. I am sure all of the hurt and pain welled up inside of him. I am sure that for a moment he thought about revenge. We know that he tested his brothers to see if they could be trusted again. None of these things indicate a heart that is refusing to forgive.
Finally, in the hour of his revealing himself to his brothers he falls on their necks and kisses them. He tells them not to worry, all has been forgiven. What they meant for evil, God meant for good.
As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people. (Genesis 50:20)
What lessons can we learn from the life of Joseph? How can we learn to forgive?
- Focus on God’s amazing grace. How much did God forgive and continues to forgive in your life?
- Depend on God’s sovereignty. Though God never ordains that we sin, when sin occurs He can use it and turn it around and make something good out of it. God often uses suffering to purify us and to make us more like Christ. As Romans 8:28 says:
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
- Pray for the filling of God’s Holy Spirit and the fruit He produces. Remember most of the fruit of the spirit are relational terms. When we are filled (controlled and empowered) by God’s Holy Spirit, we are able to love with a First Corinthians kind of love. We are able to be patient and gentle and kind towards others. And we are able to exhibit self-control over our desire to get even or to seek revenge.
- Chose to obey God by faith. The whole Christian life is a walk of faith. We exhibit faith when we trust that God will right ever wrong, and that God will protect and defend us. We exhibit faith when we love instead of hate, when we have peace instead of anxiety, and when we are full of joy instead of bitterness.
- By faith give a blessing. Repay evil with good. Trust in God.
Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. (I Peter 3:8-9)
Let’s Pray:
- I want you to think of your own sin this morning. What has God forgiven in you? I want you to picture those sins, forever nailed to the cross of Christ.
- Now I want you to search your heart and ask God “Is there anyone I have been refusing to forgive?” When you have them in mind, I want you to pray and ask God to help you forgive that person. I want you to give that person over to God. I want you to release that person from any form of retribution. And when you have done that I want you to open your eyes and watch the screen behind me where you will see a visual picture of God’s forgiveness of us, and our forgiveness of others.. (the release of balloons)
At end of video pray.
