1. Title: Dirty Little Secrets
2. Text: Proverbs 7:21-27; Matthew 5:27-28; Job 31:1; et al
3. Audience: Villa Heights Christian Church, AM crowd, Sunday, Feb. 25, 2006, 6th in the series “A Clear and Present Danger”
4. Objectives:
-for the people to understand the dangers and prevalence of pornography, the way it affects us all, and what we are to do about it
-for the people to feel threatened by the potential harm of pornography, concerned for those who are hurt by it, and confident that with God’s help we can make advances against it
-for the people to give up, get away from, and help others stay away from the danger that is imposed by the “pornification” of our world
5. When I finish my sermon I want my audience to be much more aware of the influence of porn on modern worldviews and to actively engage in squelching it among us and helping others outside us to be victorious over it.
6. Type: topical
7. Dominant Thought: Like any other addiction or temptation, the destructive potential of pornography can be overcome with the Lord’s help
8. Outline:
Intro: Proverbs 7:21-27 …with persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. (pray)
I have an interesting audience where this subject is concerned this morning. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment and consider who I’m addressing: statistically, in a crowd this size, of, yes, Christian people, I’m speaking to the following: there are most likely some this morning who are…
• skeptical that pornography is a problem. They may not use it themselves, and they don’t think it’s a big deal or that we have any right to impose our values on others. Then there are some who engage in it, and in order to do that, they may perform some mental gymnastics to rationalize their actions. Some may even be open about their use of it. They haven’t been to me. (Maybe after this morning they will be.)
• spouses of those who use it. You may know it. You may not.
• Too young to really understand what this is all about, and I hope your parents will make sure to deal with that in an age-appropriate way.
• Addicts. Just like a drug or alcohol problem, like an addiction to nicotine or to gambling, there will most likely be some here this morning who have a problem with pornography to some degree – college students, high school boys or girls, middle-aged people, any age group, and they’re struggling with it.
• Parents and grandparents of kids who are currently being bombarded with this stuff we call pornography.
Pornography is a clear and present danger. It’s a threat to our current generation unlike it has been any time before. That’s because our society has become more shaped and driven by media more than ever.
In a 1965 anti-pornography short-film, George Putnam says that high speed presses, rapid transportation, and mass distribution were disseminating pornography at a rate unlike anytime before. I wonder what he says now about the internet.
Testimony by Jill C. Manning - …technology socially organizes opportunities for viewing pornography. In the 1970s, film was the contemporary means through which pornography was consumed; in the 1980s, videotapes reorganized the viewing arena; and in the 1990s, the Internet revolutionized pornography consumption to the point that some have even touted it as the catalyst for the next sexual revolution. More recently, the cell phone has become the up and coming medium for pornography.
I need to say this before I get any farther: Sex isn’t dirty. God created it. He created us in such a way that a part of our identity is sexual. There’s even a book of the Bible that describes and praises the goodness of right sexual relationship. What’s wrong with the whole subject is what has been done with it. A few decades ago, this wouldn’t have even been talked about openly. Today we have to.
So, I want to address this subject based on where you might be this morning.
I. If You’re Saying Pornography is OK, Get Honest
I wish I didn’t even have to make this point, but I’m guessing it’s necessary.
I’m guessing it because of stories like my dad told me, of a man in the church in Colo. Springs, where I was a teenager. This man had been an elder in the church. My dad, visiting in his home, saw some Playboy magazines on the coffee table. He asked the man about them. “Do you look at that stuff?” “Well, yes. You have to see how the other side lives.” Dad was impressed – not in a favorable way!
I’m guessing it because we live in a culture that is increasingly “pornified,” not just in the red-light district and the adult section of some magazine rack, but right in our faces at the check-out lines and as you walk up and down the mall and every other commercial on TV. In too many circles, the Church of today, along with everyone else, is allowing society to change the “norms” of sexuality.
By the way, the root word “porno” comes right from the NT word translated “sexual immorality” and the word for “adultery” and “prostitute.”
It’s the word that appears in
Colossians 3:5-7
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
Ill - I was in high school, working for one of our elders for the summer, and Jim, a former youth sponsor who was also working drooled out loud at a woman in public. I called him on it. “I’m not touching anything!” A 16yr old boy needs to hear something other than that from his adult leaders. Jesus warned that to even look at a woman with the intent of lusting after her was committing adultery in you heart.
God tells us that our sexuality ought to be distinct from the world, because we’ve been changed by Him.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you.
We can’t live like it doesn’t matter.
1 John 1:6
If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
Let’s get honest. If you’re living in the lie that pornography is OK, you’ve had to ignore a lot of Scripture to do it. You’re also in danger of judgment and death.
James 1:13-16
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.
This progression, the one that ends up in death, starts with lust. Each one is tempted by his own lust and then dragged away. That lust, after it conceives, gives birth to sin and sin grows up to kill you. Don’t be deceived. If you’re saying pornography is OK, get honest.
Ill - Jill C. Manning submitted a testimony to the Senate Hearing On Pornography’s Impact On Marriage & The Family, Nov 10, 2005. It was a research paper, 52 pages on The Impact of Internet Pornography on Marriage and the Family. One study she cites describes the affect on marriage as noted in divorce cases by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
She describes the effects of increasing aggression, acceptance of rape, fueling sex offenders; of overspending and debt, decreased job security, the direct and indirect affect on children, all linked to their involvement with internet pornography:
Internet pornography is altering the social and sexual landscape…the research currently available indicates many negative trends…As the first Internet generations reach adulthood, it is anticipated that the full magnitude of online pornography’s effects will become more evident and alter the pornography debate accordingly…This issue promises to be around for some time.
Another way to get honest this morning would be to consider cases where pornography has ruined the lives of people. There are many.
One is a man named Bill, a former corrections office, who appears on a radio talk show to share his story with the founders of XXXChurch – a ministry to help people out of the pornography scene. Bill describes the way he was first exposed to pornography at his friend’s house at age 11. He was immediately addicted. After time, he turned to more and more graphic pornography. Years later, unknown to his wife, he became exposed to child pornography and collected it. The FBI arrested him, and he was convicted. He has lost his job, he lost his house and all he owned to pay legal fees, and this month he was sentenced to the equivalent of 9 years in jail. Bill’s assessment of where he’s at? He’s just glad he got caught. He’s just glad he got stopped before it got even worse, and he’ll gladly serve his term in a federal prison where he hopes to form a support group for porn addicts.
Another case is that of Ted Bundy, convicted serial killer. Just hours before he was executed, Bundy granted an interview with James Dobson. Listen to the role pornography played in his decline:
(roll video )
Get honest. Pornography is wrong. It victimizes, it disables, it demeans, it kills. Get honest about that.
II. If You Think Pornography Doesn’t Affect You, Get Educated
2 Corinthians 2:11
…in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Is it true? Are we savvy to Satan’s schemes? Do we really understand how much this is a serious threat? Or do we have our heads in the sand?
“Oh, boys will be boys.” Please! Yes, boys will be boys, and those boys are going to want to date your daughter or granddaughter. Do you want them fueled by pornography? One day those boys will be men. What kind of men will they be if we send them up the creek of life without a paddle?
Ill – A co-worker of my wife was talking to her about her 13 yr old son. He wanted to put up a “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit calendar in his room. So, she told him, “Well, at least they’re dressed. If I let you have that will you promise not to bring that trashy stuff into our house?” Wise Up!
Rob Jackson, said that in the past, it would take 5-15 years for a person who was exposed to pornography to develop an addiction. Now — in the clients he sees — it’s taking a matter of months or weeks to become addicted because of the Internet, because of the accessibility, affordability and anonymity involved with viewing images online. The internet has completely changed the pornography industry.
• Pornographic websites 4.2 mil (12% of total websites). That’s 372 mil. pornographic pages.
• 72 mil. people a year visit pornographic web sites worldwide
• 100,000 Websites offer illegal child pornography
• The average age of first Internet exposure to pornography 11 years old.
• The largest consumer of Internet pornography 12-17 age group.
• 80% of 15-17 year olds have had multiple exposures to hard-core pornography.
• Pornography is now a $57 billion a year industry world-wide - $12 billion US. That means that porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises. US porn revenue nearly doubles the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC
• Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.
If you have the internet in your home, for your family’s sake, learn how to use it. Learn how to make it safe. Locate it where everyone will see what’s on it. Learn about filtered service and blockers. The internet can be a great thing, but don’t have it at home if you can’t keep it under control.
Check what plays on your cable or satellite TV. Learn about the V-chip and your passwords for parental controls. Listen to your children’s music. Look through their magazines. Wise Up!
In C.S. Lewis’ The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, the boy named Edmund meets the white witch but doesn’t realize how evil she is. She offers him candy – Turkish delight. He starts in eating it, but doesn’t know that it has a spell on it. The more he eats it, the more he craves it. Lewis is actually giving a graphic description of how sin works inside of us. There is no satisfying it. It alters the way Edmund thinks. He drops his inhibitions and his sense of what’s proper. His face looks different, and his mind obsesses with the next time he’ll get more. Soon, he’s lying, hurting feelings, and even betraying his siblings. Pornography has had stranger effects on people.
III. If You’re Tempted By Pornography, Get Away
Greek mythology tells the story of the Sirens, beautiful women who lived on an island and who would lure sailors by their enticing music. Everyone who tried to pass by them would end up crashing on the rocks. In one tale, Odysseus blocked his men’s ears with beeswax and made them tie him to the mast so he wouldn’t be drawn away by the lure of the Sirens’ song. When he begged to be released, the crew had orders to tighten the ropes on him. Don’t try this at home, folks!
A lot of people think that pornography is like this – that you can expose yourself to it without crashing. Others may not be tempted by it. Good for you. Some aren’t tempted to other addicting behaviors. Good for them. But when it comes to what we’re supposed to do in the face of sexual immorality and temptation, the Bible has one clear directive: run away. Summon up all your strength and courage…and run away.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
You can’t toy with Satan. He’ll win. If you’re tempted to look at pornography, don’t place yourself in situations where you’re seeing it. King David is out on his roof at night and sees a beautiful woman taking a bath. Instead of turning away, he schemes, and that story ends up a mess of lie, deceit, betrayal, murder, punishment, and pain. Remember the example of Joseph. His master’s wife kept enticing him to commit adultery with her, and Joseph kept away from her, until one day she caught him alone and grabbed him by his coat. What did Joseph do? He did a 180 & left her holding an empty coat.
Job said (Job 31:1) he had made a covenant with his eyes, to not look inappropriately at a woman. Have you made a covenant about what you’re going to look at?
One of the tools that has helped me is the day that Floyd and Diana came into my office in Ohio. Early that morning, Floyd had admitted to Diana that he had been, among other things, secretly viewing pornography that he had hidden around their house. He had been cheating on her, and the story continued to unfold right in front of me as he disclosed more of it. Diana was angry – and rightly so – and the hurt and anger and feeling of being gullible all boiled up inside of her and exploded on him right there. He deserved it, and I just sat and watched, and I was thinking to myself “Oooh, I’m glad I’m not Floyd! I’m glad I’m not Floyd!” Sometimes, if I’m tempted, I just remember Floyd.
Then, there’s another memory in my mind. I’m in a line at a fast-food restaurant. It’s lunchtime, and the place is crazy. People are getting grumpy because something is holding up the line. There’s a lady who has brought back her order messed up. There’s someone else receiving the manager’s apology for the long wait. I feel sorry for him, because the customers aren’t the most understanding. Then, I realize that the manager of the fast-food place is a former minister – one who had lost his job because of viewing pornography over his office computer. Now, rather than in ministry, he’s the manager at a fast-food place during the lunch rush. Sometimes, if I’m tempted, I just remember that former minister.
Get familiar with the people who have thrown away all that was dear to them. See where it has left them. Let it stand as a warning to you to flee immorality.
IV. If You’re Hooked on Pornography, Get Help
Today, if this describes you, I want to remind you that there’s help. Stop denying that it’s a problem and get help. The church needs to have a greater role in this than it has in the past.
What’s the Church supposed to do about people who are struggling with pornography?
First of all, if they aren’t Christ-followers, we shouldn’t expect them to act like it. Why would they? We need to make it OK to not be OK. God doesn’t want to just leave it that way, but let’s start with where they are. Let’s recognize people who are caught up in this as victims of Satan who’ve bought into his lies. Some of them just need to be helped out. That seems to be the way Jesus dealt with people.
Let’s be honest with them and make it clear what it will lead to. If you offered someone a pill and said, “Here, take this, and pretty soon you’ll want more of them, and eventually, you’ll lose your marriage, you’ll lose your job, you’ll lose everything you own, and you won’t be able to relate well to people in general,” I doubt anyone would take you up on that!
Ephesians 5:11-16
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
What’s true of the person who’s hooked on pornography is true of every person: your very deepest, longings will never be completely satisfied in this life. Neither will Mick Jagger’s. You won’t get no satisfaction. The Bible calls it eternity in your heart that has been placed there by God. Your deepest longings cannot be satisfied in this life or apart from God. They aren’t supposed to be.
What if the person who’s hooked is a Christian? Can such a thing happen? It has.
Galatians 6:1-2
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
One of the reasons fellowship in the church is so important is because it sets the stage for accountability. Isolation is the opposite of fellowship, and that’s where the person caught up in pornography goes with his problem – off by himself. You can be fairly sure, when someone starts to pull away from the Church family, something’s wrong. It’s hard to commit sin right around the people who encourage you not to. Fellowship is just the opposite. When we’re together, we’re not going to mess up as much. When we’re involved, appropriately, in each other’s lives, we’re protected against temptation. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
As another help, let me suggest some resources, on the internet, that can help the person who’s struggling, or help you be a helper to that person:
family.org
pureonline.com
pureIntimacy.org
x3church.com (x3watch)
Conclusion:
This invitation today is a different kind, although it’s not, because Jesus calls us to freedom. It is for freedom that Christ sets you free. In fact, He wants for you die to sin, because he who has died to sin is no longer enslaved by it.
Yes, we want to invite you a life that’s free from the rule of immorality. We want to invite you to the freedom that comes from being made clean as only Jesus can make you clean…
