Many of you parents can identify with this picture when you come home from work.
You are tired, you provide for your family and you come home and see this picture when you walk in the door. You immediately begin to thank God for his wonderful gift of children, after you try and figure out what possessed you to have children in the first place.
“NO BOOK ON PARENTING EVER HELPS”
“WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO PARENT JESUS”
”BUMPER STICKER CITY”
”NEVER HAD TO TEACH CHILDREN TO DISOBEY”
Today, we’re going to talk about building bridges between children and their parents.
Statistics on families:
”One child out of every 25 lives with neither parent”
”Parents & children have admitted to an argument where they say at least one thing they regret…per week”
Ephesians 6:1 (MESSAGE)
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." 4Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.
Ephesians 5:1 (MESSAGE)
[ Wake Up from Your Sleep ] Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
I believe that we are in trouble as far as the family is concerned.
The family unit has been the #1 thing that satan has attacked. If he can break apart the family, and cause friction between parents and their children, he has destroyed the one sense of peace that exists from within the home.
Today, bridges are built between parents and their kids and the bridges are very weak.
Today, we’re going to give you three ways to strengthen the bridge between parents & children.
Remember the old phrase that you’re supposed to do when you are in the house when it catches on fire?
STOP
DROP
ROLL
I’m going to give you three easy steps to strengthen the bridge that exists between parents and their children.
1. Stop and listen
The real problem with families today is not a lack of love, but a lack of listening.
Mark 10:13 (MESSAGE)
The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.
Let me talk to the parents for a minute. I want you to think of what the implications of Jesus’ words are. What he is basically saying is:
We have a lot to learn from these little children, because obviously when we grow up, we forget it.
I have learned more from just sitting down and talking to students than I have anything else.
Listening to someone shows them that you value them.
Think of all the stories in the New Testament. Jesus talked a lot, but He also listened a lot.
Remember this:
”Winners Listen”
”Losers wait for their turn to talk”
Parents, take time to listen to your kids. You will never regret listening to them, and I would even say that you might learn a thing or two along the way.
Now, let’s talk to the teenagers/children a minute:
Contrary to what you think, your parents aren’t geezers who absolutely are clueless about everything in your life. They always have your best interest at heart.
How many have heard this phrase? “No…because I said so”
It is the phrase they teach parents in parents school or something. I heard it ALL THE TIME GROWING UP
Let me tell you something about because I said so. It saved me a lot of heartache just listening to my parents.
If you want to build a bridge between parents and children, you have to stop and listen.
2. Drop the distractions
Surveys suggest that most families rate time together as their number one priority. Those same surveys show that fathers spend only a few minutes a day with their children. In his book If I Were Starting My Family Again, John Drescher wrote about a study of 300 seventh and eighth-grade boys who kept detailed records of how much time their fathers spent with them over a two-week period. Most saw their father only at the dinner table. A number didn’t see their fathers for days at a time. The average time father and son were alone together was seven and one-half minutes a week.
Proverbs 4:23
Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.
Taking time with someone lets them know that you value them.
We live in a distracted world.
8 out of every 10 car accidents could be avoided if people wouldn’t get distracted
Now, listen to me a minute. If we ever are going to have relationships that mean something with our families, we have to be willing to drop the distractions. Turn the cell phone off, turn the computer off, and just take some time.
You will never have meaningful relationships with your family if you are too busy to spend time with them.
In the Bible, I can’t see Jesus being distracted. He was always mission minded. And unfortunately, our mission is often clouded and forgotten due to our immense amount of distractions.
There can be distractions, but if you’re isolated from the heart of the Games, the Olympics become just another competition. –Mary Lou Retton
Let’s apply this to family life. If you’re isolated from putting your whole heart into your family, you’ll never find the fulfillment of a good family life.
3. Roll out the Red Carpet
The red carpet is special treatment or hospitality. It shows someone that they are special and valued.
It is amazing what people will do when they feel important.
I don’t mean literally rolling out red carpet for your child when they come home to soil with their backpack, socks, and dirty clothes. But I mean, making them feel important…making them feel valued.
*LOVE LETTERS IN YOUTH*
Parents, it is VITAL that you let your kids know how important they are to you. I would encourage you to write them letters, leave them notes, and make sure you constantly tell them, so that there is never a doubt in their minds that you value them.
Remember this:
“Don’t assume anything”
The mistake parents make is assuming that their kids know how they feel.
I would like to encourage parents to write letters to their children, so that they have something to look back to.
Kids, your parents do more for you than I could ever put into words. They do it for no pay, no thank you’s, the spend tons of money, invest in you and sometimes they struggle. It’s hard to love and value people that don’t love and value you back.
Stop and listen
Drop the distractions
Roll out the red carpet
