THE AWESOME POWER OF ATTITUDE PT 3
"HAPPY OR UNHAPPY, YOUR CHOICE"
"CHOICES & BY-PRODUCTS
This our 3rd message on attitude... In our first message we discussed such things as: How your attitude reveals the real you (remember the jar of water with the loose lid?); we also talked about how your attitude effects every relationship in your life and how we have the power to choose our attitude.
In our 2nd message on attitude we talked about How to get along with the most significant person in your life... YOURSELF....
Because if you can’t get along with yourself your neighbor is in big trouble...
And we said that in order to get along with yourself you need to be a forgiving person,,, you need to be confident in who you are -- you need to be a person you can respect and finally be a person who is reaching beyond....
Today, our message is entitled happy or unhappy it’s your choice....Choices & By-products
On fourth of July we went to Sea World. Well we actually started out for Disney but by the time we got to the Magic Kingdom it was full and no one else could go in.
After some adventure (that I don’t have time to get into) we finally made it to Sea World... we had a good time despite the heavy rain. The fireworks were great!! (best I’ve seen in years)
As we were leaving the park at about 11 pm along with the 1,000 other soggy tired theme parkers. I noticed 2 wheelchairs ahead of us... One was a man and he caught my attention as he was going up hill -- I was amazed at how fast he went - and I thought about how difficult it must be to push yourself through the park in a wheel chair all day...
The wheelchair right beside his... this one had a battery on the back... I thought how that must be a lot easier, than as I got closer I noticed that the lady in this wheel chair not only couldn’t walk but she didn’t have legs or arms...
When I was close enough to where I could hear them talking - I didn’t hear complaints about the rain or the crowd trying to leave. I just heard laughter and excitement in their voice about the great time they were having... They had a lot of reasons to be unhappy, but they were not. They choose to be happy.
Now I know we could write this off as superficial -- just 2 people who didn’t know any better. But let me give you the thoughts of one of the most famous person who ever lived. President Lincoln was known for his ability to state great thoughts in a simple fashion. This is what he said: "most people are unhappy as the make up their mind to be..." -- in other words happiness and unhappiness is a choice.
Happiness is a popular pursuit TODAY, as a matter of fact when our country was born over 221 years ago many men signed a document we know as THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, and in that document we find the following words -- "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, THAT THEY ARE ENDOWED BY THEIR CREATOR WITH CERTAIN INALIENABLE RIGHTS, THAT AMONG THESE ARE LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
And America and Americans have been in the pursuit of happiness ever since... And sometimes this pursuit gets quit frantic as people run from one thing, or from person to another, trying to find happiness. Some run to fame, others to riches, and still others to relationships... And though these things look promising at the outset -- they eventually find that they were not the oasis of life they appeared to be, but were merely a mirage -- and they hold only dry desert sand in our hands.
Question; Why are so many people unhappy?
In a world of abundance and unlimited opportunities, more people are unhappy today than ever before. People are flocking to psychologists at a record rate; stress pills and pills for ulcers and stomach problems are the top sellers (among both Christians and non Christians)...
We live like kings and queens with many machines to serve us. Yet, researchers tell us that 80% of workers are unhappy in their jobs; 75% of married people are unhappy with their marriages; a large number of single people are unhappy with their singleness. Unhappiness is a plague that has come upon the land.
UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY! We are prone to think that if we can just get the right job that we will be happy. No you won’t. You will find something wrong with every job. People go through marriages like quicksand. they mistakenly tell themselves that if they just had the right mate, they would be happy. No one can make you happy, because happiness is an inside job. Happiness comes from the attitude of being pleased with who you are what you do. It is an attitude of the mind. It is a choice. And it is God’s better way for you to live.
As I worked on this message this week - I really struggled at how to put this together where it would both be practical and make sense. Remember when we began this series I said that what inspired it was a book I was given by Dale Galloway at His seminar on Church Leadership, called the awesome power of attitude.... I’ve based my first 2 messages on chapters in this book.
In his book Dale Galloway also talks about the choice of happiness. And he suggests several choices that we can make that will help build a happy attitude in our lives:
These are choices that we can make everyday, choices that will effect both our attitude and our happiness.
Here is what we want to begin today - if you noticed the sub-title for my message is Choices & By-Products... What we will start today and finish next week is a discussion of 6 choices that we can make that will build within us a happy attitude. Next week we will build on the 6th choice as we talk about how happiness is a by-product of the Christian Life/Character.
Okay, are you with me? What are we going to talk about? Today we are going to talk about 6 choices that you can make every day, choices that will help you build a happy attitude. And then next week we will expand upon choice #6, as we discuss the truth that happiness is a by-product of the Christian life.
THE 1ST CHOICE IN BUILDING A HAPPY ATTITUDE IS TO:
1. CHOOSE TO THINK LIKE AN OPTIMIST NOT A PESSIMIST
An optimist, looks on the bright side. A pessimist, looks on the dark side.
Question; Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
Someone has said; "optimism is a cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing, though in hot water up to it’s nose.
There are 2 rooms - one full of brand new toys, the other full of hay and horse manure. 2 children are taken into them, one is a pessimist, the other an optimist. The pessimist looked at the first room and cried because all those wonderful toys would soon be broken. The optimist was in the other room shoveling. "I know there’s got to be a horse in here somewhere" he said.
OR TAKE THE MARINE OFFICER WHO WHEN HE SAW THAT HE AND HIS MEN WERE SURROUNDED BY THE ENEMY, SAID, "MEN WE ARE SURROUNDED BY THE ENEMY, DON’T LET ONE OF THEM GET AWAY
You have a glass of water that is filled up half way. Is it half full or is it half empty? With the same glass and the same amount of water, if you say that it is half full, you’re an optimist. If you say that it is half empty, you are a pessimist.
If we choose to look on the dark side - to focus on the negative how can we ever expect to be happy - WE CAN’T AREN’T.
I personally struggle with this in my ministry - many times I look at the glass and see it as half empty. I tend to focus on what is not and in so doing miss what is.....
I many times am so bothered by the water that is not in the glass, by those who don’t participate in something I feel is important, that I overlook (or give little power) to the fact that there is some water in the glass, some who are participating.
QUESTION, Do you think Jesus was an optimist or a pessimist?
Jesus could of focused on the multitudes that walked way, or on the scribes and Pharisees that refused to listen, or on being misunderstood in regards to his ultimate mission.
But we don’t see Jesus moping around complaining about what was not -- we just see him building on what was....making the most of every opportunity, finding that one tax collector in the crowd, feeding the multitudes with the young boys sack lunch, focusing on the 11 who wanted to listen.
Now if anyone should and can be an optimist it is the Christian... For in every and any situation there is a bright side. For the Christian in every cloud there is a silver lining, if only we would look for it. Even in our trials and hardships there is a bright side; listen to the following verses:
"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature complete not lacking anything..." James 1:2-4
"I consider that our present suffering are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us" Rm 8:18
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rm 8:28
Every day and in every situation you I can choose to either be a pessimist or an optimist. Choosing to be an optimist will help build in you a happy attitude.
THE NEXT CHOICE YOU NEED TO MAKE
IN ORDER TO BUILD A HAPPY ATTITUDE IS TO:
2. CHOOSE TO MASTER YOUR MOODS
"When they were up, they were up
When they were down, they were down;
When they were only half way up,
they were neither up nor down."
This little poem was a description given of the Duke of York’s ten thousand men. It could well be the description of many people today who have not learned to master their moods.
Understand that everyone has mood swings. Individuals seem to have one or 2 mood patterns.
One could be called "Rocky Mountain High, Grand Canyon Low" people who have this mood pattern swing extremely high and then they go way down low.
The other mood pattern could be called "rolling hills" people who follow this pattern in their daily life are a little up and a little down. They avoid extremes.
Question; Do you ever get in a bad mood?
Have you ever let a bad mood ruin your whole day?
(not to mention everyone else’s)
The simple fact is we all will have moods - and if we don’t learn to master them they will master us and we will not be happy.
In our series in the Purpose Driven Life we talked about 2 habits that can help us master our moods;
1. The first is the habit of acting without feeling.
Or acting before feeling. Feelings will come but you’ve got to act first. This habit is summed up in three words "Do it now". Don’t wait, don’t delay, get moving, get going because motion creates mood. Motion creates emotion. Your physical body actually has greater power than your emotions. You can actually force your body to change your emotion.
Example: Everybody set up straight. Get good posture. Now take a deep breath and let it out. Now put a big grin on your face. Now look at the person next to you and laugh at them. Now think at the same time you’re doing this "I’m terribly depressed!" It doesn’t work, does it?
You can change your mood by breathing, by posture, by facial expression. So if you want to change your mood, the first thing you do is you change your actions even before you feel like it.
It’s easier to act your way into a feeling than it is to feel your way into an action.
You say, "I don’t feel like being romantic toward my husband today." If you act romantic, you will feel romantic. "I don’t feel like being nice to my kids." If you start acting nice, the feelings will come. And this principle not only works with your spouse and your kids, but it works with friends, brothers, your boss, fellow workers...etc
Again it is easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into acting. It’s really just faith. It’s believing in advance that if you act in a certain that the feelings will come. You act your way into feelings, not vice versa.
Therefore if you know something is God’s will for your life (whether it is something at work, at home, treating your spouse or kids different, reaching out, eating tight, exercising, reading the bible, going to church, speaking the truth in love
) but you don’t want to do it.... do it anyway.
and the feeling will follow...
The first habit we need to develop in order to master our moods is when we don’t feel like it, we go ahead and do it, the feelings will come. It’s an amazing principle taught in God’s word.
2. Now The second habit is very important also and that is the habit of affirming God’s word.
I Peter 1:13 "Prepare your minds for action. Discipline yourself." How do you do that? How do you prepare your mind for action?
By affirming the truth and promises of God in your mind
What is affirming? Affirmation is simply consciously choosing what you’re going to focus on.
I think you all would agree that we live in a pretty
negative world. The reason you need to affirm truth in your life and the positiveness of God’s Word is because you’re constantly getting bombarded by the other side all the time. "You’re no good, you’re lousy, you’re incompetent, you can’t make it, you’re terrible, you’re worthless, you’re ordinary."
So it is important for every one of us to affirm the good and every time we affirm God’s word we change a little bit for the good.
Paul talk about AFFIRMING GOD’S WORD, Romans 12; "Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind." You’re transformed on the outside by changing what you think about on the inside.
Philippians 4:13 "There is nothing I cannot master with the help of the One who gives me strength." Circle the word "master". Now is Paul just psyching himself out? No. He’s exercising faith. "According to your faith it will be done unto you." Affirming the truth of God is simply exercising faith. Now this is not just something I’m talking about in theory it really works - affirming God’s truth can really help you master your moods...
FOR EXAMPLE;
"I can do all things through Christ"
"This is the day the Lord has made"
"God’s grace is amazing"
"We are more than conquers"
"Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world."
"We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation"
"If God is for us who can be against us..."
"He is preparing a place for me"
"God is with me" "God loves me" "I matter to God" "I am his child"
feel better >>> those things are true!!!
WHEN YOU CHOOSE: TO BE AN OPTIMIST
TO MASTER YOUR MOODS
YOU ARE BUILDING A FOUNDATION FOR HAPPY ATTITUDE
3. CHOOSE TO BE A THERMOSTAT NOT A THERMOMETER
Do you know the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat? A thermometer measures the temperature while a thermostat sets the temperature.
The person who drifts along in life allowing circumstances to dictate whether he is going to be happy or unhappy is going to live life like a yo-yo.
And instead of becoming the victor over circumstances, he will become the victim of circumstances.
Question; in your life, which are you more like, a thermometer or a thermostat?
When you walk into your place of employment and it’s a zoo, when the animals are out of their cages and they are not pleasant to be around... Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?
When you are at home and everyone is in a bad and cranky mood... Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?
They had been in a heavy storm for 14 days, they even passed ropes under the ship itself to hold it together... The storm was so violent that they began to throw the cargo overboard... For many days they saw neither the sun nor the stars... And they gave up hope....
Now if you were to place a thermometer in this situation --- what kind of reading would you get... not to good
But fortunately there was a thermostat on board -- the apostle Paul. And Paul stood before those weary and hopeless men and said; "Keep up your courage for I have faith in God..."
Paul didn’t measure the temperature on that sea weary vessel he set the temperature... And in Acts the 27th chapter where we read about this account... We find an interesting word used to describe these fearful and hopeless men after Paul, the thermostat spoke up... It appears in verses 22,25,36 -- and it is the same Greek word we find in James 5:15 "Is anyone happy? he should sing songs of praise." This word describes a happiness one can have in times of trouble, in Acts 27 they choose to translate this word courage and encouraged...
Paul who was on that ship as a prisoner was now the leader of 200 + men. They followed his lead, took his orders and were saved from the troubled seas...
In a world that is out of control -- God has called His people to be thermostats.... To set the temperature -- to take control...
TO BUILD A HAPPY ATTITUDE WE NEED TO:
CHOOSE TO BE AN OPTIMIST
CHOOSE TO MASTER OUR MOODS
CHOOSE TO BE A THERMOSTAT
AND
4. CHOOSE TO ENJOY LAUGHTER
Bruce Larson in his book, There is a lot More to health Than NOT Being Sick, writes, "Doctors have been telling me for years that `You can’t kill a happy man.’ When I press for an explanation, they suggest that unhappiness often precedes illness. Happy people rarely get sick and tend to recover quickly when they do get sick. the unhappy person is a target for any and every kind of illness."
Many healing experts have pointed out that belly laughter is a wonderful healing agent for a sick person... that should not surprise us for the bible says;
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" Pr 17:22
Laughing is good for you - I think we all need to laugh more, don’t you?
READER’S DIGEST LAUGHTER, THE BEST MEDICINE;
(I wonder where they got that from?)
On cable TV, they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather, says comedian Dan Spencer. "We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
A disgruntled former executive suing Mattel claims the toy company inflated its sales total, " says comedian Jenny Church. "But come on! Who would expect realistic figures from the maker of Barbie?"
You know it’s time to get a new car when: The traffic reporter on the radio begins to refer to you by name... You make a left hand turn and your date falls out.... You lose the stop light challenge to a 16 year old on a moped.
Comedian Jeff Foxworthy says you might be a redneck if:
. You refuse to slide during a softball game because you don’t want to crush your cigarettes.
. You slow dance a Denny’s
. You keep a can of raid on the kitchen table
. You take a 6 pack to a job interview
. You have ever mowed your lawn and found a car
Here’s some the lady’s will like:
. What’s the difference between government bonds and men? Bond’s mature
. How to you get a man to do sit ups? Put the TV remote control between his toes?
. Why is it a good thing there are women aeronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, someone will ask for directions
ART LINKLETTER KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS
Here is some answers he received to this question; Who can think of some bad manners to watch out for?
. Don’t throw food under the table if there’s not a dog under there, because it’ll rot.
. Don’t talk with your mouth full `cause you might choke to death.
. Don’t use your dress for a napkin when your mother is looking.
. Don’t put your food in other people’s drinks.
"How do you like to play house?" I asked a 5 year old miss
"I fix dinner for my husband and 10 children," she gravely responded.
"Do you do plain or fancy cooking?"
"Mostly I fry the chicken and fix the `taters and gravy"
"Do you know what you do first to fry chicken?"
"Yep. You kill it. Then you peel it."
"What’s the hardest table manner for you to remember?"
"To remember to swallow after I take a drink of milk before I start talking."
"Do you have any difficulty about remembering to use a napkin?
"We never have them at our table. We lick.
"Ever try to cook?
I tired to make pancakes once
"What happened?"
Nothing much
"Why not?"
Because I left out the butter, milk and eggs
What’s matrimony?
"I think its something to play with (Timmy 5)
"it’s something to eat (Greta 4 1/2)
"It’s kind of medicine" (Helen 6)
"It’s a big stage (Jackie 5)
Dear God, I read your book. It’s great. keep up the good work. Jackie"
"Dear God: I borrowed a cookie last week when my Mom wasn’t watching. Were you?"
"Dear God: I have heard that when Jesus returns there will be great happiness. Some will be reunited with loved ones in heaven. Others with their husbands.
"Dear God: are boys better than girls. I know you are one..but try to fair, Sylvia"
The boy was looking through the family album
"who’s this fellow on the beach with you Mama? This young guy with all the muscles and curly hair?
"That’s your father."
"That’s my father? Then who’s the old bald headed, pot- bellied man who lives with us now?"
I think we all need to laugh more -- I am sure Jesus laughed a lot -- he was fun to be around... Christians need to laugh more, too many take themselves and life too seriously, and they look as though they will break if they laugh too hard....
We also need to learn to laugh at ourselves and at the craziness of laugh... You can find humor in almost any situation...
IF YOU WANT TO BUILD A HAPPY ATTITUDE:
CHOOSE TO BE AN OPTIMIST NOT A PESSIMIST
CHOOSE TO MASTER YOUR MOODS
CHOOSE TO BE A THERMOSTAT NOT A THERMOMETER
CHOOSE TO ENJOY LAUGHTER.....
5. CHOOSE TO GIVE YOURSELF IN SERVICE TO OTHERS
This is a quick one, but very important. There are always a lot of people you can feel sorry for instead of yourself. There are always people who need you to help them. It is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop centering on yourself and move beyond yourself to help others...
Self pity and selfishness do not make a happy attitude
One way top build a happy attitude is to do something for someone else... (it works - it makes you feel good - whose done it?)
6. CHOOSE TO KNOW THE ONE PERSON
WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Earlier I said that no one could make you happy. Now there is an exception to that statement. In fact, apart from this person, no one can really find true and lasting happiness at all. That person is Jesus Christ, God the Son....
And it is when we make this choice (to know Him) that we will find that happiness is much more than a choice that it is also a by-product of the Christian life...
A BIG CAT SAW A LITTLE CAT CHASING IT’S TAIL AND ASKED, "WHY ARE YOU CHASING YOUR TAIL SO?" SAID THE KITTEN, "I HAVE LEARNED THAT THE BEST THING FOR A CAT IS HAPPINESS AND THAT HAPPINESS IS IN MY TAIL; THEREFORE I AM CHASING IT AND WHEN I CATCH IT I WILL HAVE HAPPINESS." SAID THE OLD CAT, "MY SON, I TOO HAVE PAID ATTENTION TO THE PROBLEMS OF THE UNIVERSE; I, TOO HAVE JUDGED THAT HAPPINESS IS IN MY TAIL. BUT WHENEVER I CHASE AFTER IT, IT KEEPS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME, AND WHENEVER I GO ABOUT MY BUSINESS, IT SEEMS TO COME AFTER ME WHEREVER I GO."
If you chase after happiness you will never find it. But if you make your primary business serving Christ, happiness will come to you as a by-product.
And this is where we will begin next week.
