The Weight of Unforgiveness
Matthew 6:9-15
Colossians 3:12-14
June 25, 2006
You either love him or you just can’t stand him? To some people, he’s arrogant and pompous; for others, they want to be just like him. The one thing most people agree on is this one point ~ nobody wants his hairstyle. Any ideas who I am talking about?
It’s ‘THE DONALD’ . . . not duck, but Trump. I don’t know about you, but I have to admit, one of my favorite television programs is THE APPRENTICE. I know, it’s really a self-promoting, pretty ridiculous program. I guess that’s why I like it. Actually, I like it because it is a great study of human behavior. It shows us how people react when their backs are against the wall, how people can show loyalty, or stab you in the back, all in the matter of seconds.
Well, one night, Debbie and I were watching, and these three young women ended up in the board room, where ‘one will be fired.’ I am going to show you a short video clip of a scene in the boardroom. The woman in the middle, Tammy, was the project manager of the losing team, and usually the project manager gets fired. These three women had really bonded, but now they are fighting for their survival, and frankly, Tammy does not like the fact that she is being picked on. So . . . let’s watch and learn from The Donald, on how to treat people who pick on us.
SHOW VIDEO CLIP
Did you hear what Donald Trump said? He said he HATES PEOPLE! And not only does he hate people, but he hates them for the rest of his life.
He said, “it’s probably wrong . . . but, I hate people.” I need to tell you, it’s not probably wrong, it IS wrong. To top it off, Donald said, “I never recover from it.”
WOW!! What an admission. Gee, it really makes me want to be more like Donald. And did you notice the laughter from Tammy when Donald repeated, “I hate people.” That’s not worth laughing at, it’s worth crying over.
For the past 5 weeks we have been talking about the impact of anger in our lives and what it means to forgive. Today ends our time talking about forgiveness, and the impact when we will not forgive. Because, as I have said, forgiveness is a choice. It’s not a feeling, it’s a choice which we always have control over; otherwise, those we need to forgive will forever have power over us, and it will weigh us down and eat at us forever.
For the last couple of weeks I have been referring to these two passages, and today I want to unpack fully what Jesus and Paul are saying. I really think we miss the point of what Jesus is getting at in the Lord’s Prayer when He talks about forgiveness. In fact, what Jesus has to say about forgiveness is so important that he unpacks it even more in verse 14.
In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus said, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” On the surface it sounds pretty basic, Lord, forgive us, and we will forgive others! End of story. But, in all of His genius, Jesus wants us to go a step further. He wants us to look deep, really deep into ourselves and fully grasp what kind of forgiveness He is talking about.
When we hear this phrase, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” . . . This is what I really believe Jesus wants from us . . . and I am going to say this passage in the Deutsch Version of the Bible ~
Jesus, I want you to forgive me in the exact
same way I forgive those who hurt me.
Have you ever thought about forgiveness in those terms? It’s radical, and it’s Jesus’ way.
Repeat this verse, “Forgive me of my sins, just as I forgive those who sin against me.”
Aren’t we telling Jesus, Jesus I want you to forgive me, but don’t do me any special favors, just forgive me of my sins, in the same way that I forgive those who sin against me?
It takes unforgiveness and forgiveness to new and greater heights and depths. You see, if you and I refuse to forgive someone, then we are essentially saying to God, don’t forgive me either. I don’t think we want to say that to our God, do we?
That is why Jesus gave us that haunting statement immediately after the Lord’s Prayer. He tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, “14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
It’s a haunting scripture because if we will not forgive, God will not forgive us, and isn’t that the basis of our faith. What did Christ offer us on the cross? Forgiveness . . . radical and complete forgiveness. You see, He knew what was coming when He made this statement in Matthew 6. He knew He would suffer and die on the cross, so we could experience forgiveness from the God of all creation.
That is why passages like 1 John 1:9 are so important to our faith, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” You see, Jesus is there forgive us of our sins, only after we confess them; proclaim them to Him. He then purifies us, to make us as David asked in Psalm 51, to make us whiter than snow.
So . . . how are we supposed to forgive? Just the way Paul described it in Colossians 3:13 ~ “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” In other words, we want the Lord to forgive us, fully and completely, not a little bit of forgiveness, no matter what we’ve done, right? Since we want the Lord to forgive us, fully and completely, that is exactly what the Lord expects of us, when others come into our lives and whether it be intentional or accidental; and hurt us. God wants us to go through the process, as we talked about last week, and come to that event, where we can say, “I forgive!”
And we forgive, because God has forgiven us. That’s the ultimate forgiveness. We forgive because God commands it; and we forgive because it is good for our heart, soul and mind. Actually it is great for our whole being.
Because when you do not, and will not and cannot forgive it weighs you down. In fact, I’d like to illustrate that. I would like someone who is big and strong to volunteer to come up here and help me.
Jim Volk has volunteered to come up and help me out. Now, as you can see, Jim is a strong man, but Jim has a problem with forgiveness. He can’t forgive people.
Unforgiveness is weighing Jim down. But it didn’t start out that way. You see, when we don’t forgive, it’s like adding these rocks onto our body. It starts out as not too big a deal, it does not weigh us down too much.
In fact, right now Jim could carry on a conversation with me, couldn’t you, Jim?
YES!
Now, when we don’t forgive, it becomes easier and easier to not forgive and it weighs you down even more. So, we are going to add some heavier rocks to Jim. But because Jim is really, really stubborn, and Nina will attest to that, We will now add some really, really heavy rocks to Jim.
At this point Jim cannot engage us in a pleasant conversation, he cannot talk to Nina and tell her how wonderful she is. He cannot tell Erik or Jaime he is proud of them. In fact, prayer is pretty tough right now. You see, Jim is consumed with this forgiveness thing.
So, Jim, let’s move your arms a little closer, does that help? And Nina, come on up here, let’s help Jim out. Anyone else want to help Jim? Come on up and help.
Because you see, we don’t need to go through unforgiveness and forgiveness on our own. This is where the body of Christ comes in. We are here for one another. You see, we aren’t going to hold Jim’s arms in the air and force him to continue in the sin of unforgiveness, instead because we love Jim, we are going to help lighten his load.
Isn’t that what the church is about, forming deep, intimate community? Now that we have helped Jim release himself from the bondage of unforgiveness, how do your arms feel?
MUCH BETTER!
In fact, Jim, lift your arms now. Did they feel heavy or light?
LIGHTER!
Excellent! That is what forgiveness does for us. It releases the weight and burden we carry wherever we go. God’s call for us is to practice loving, yet radical forgiveness of our brothers and sisters. Sometimes it takes awhile, but the point is to work through the process until we come to that point in time when we are released from carrying the weight of unforgiveness.
Friends, is there someone you need to forgive, someone in this room, right here, right now? Is there a family member, a co-worker, a friend? The choice is always yours. You can be like The Donald, and hate, never recover from it, and let it weigh you down - - - or you can work the process of forgiveness and let it go, and experience physical, emotional and most especially spiritual relief from our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Again, the choice is yours. Let us pray.
