The Foundation of Functioning Family’s
At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how ’bout a good night kiss?"
Embarrassed, she replies, "Oh, I couldn’t do that. My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. I would just die of embarrassment if someone saw us."
"Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!"
"No way. It’s just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No. I like you too, but I just can’t!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can’t."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
Western Culture Formula for a Functional Family:
N+K+P=FF - Needs+Knowledge+Pleasures = Functional Family.
1 Corinthians 6:11-13
12Some of you say, "We can do anything we want to." But I tell you that not everything is good for us. So I refuse to let anything have power over me.
C+BPR+BPT-CU=FF
Chris + Biblical Principles + Biblical Patterns – Curse = Brings Functional Families.
The Principles are the what – The patterns are the how.
In the Garden they functioned in three harmonious Keys:
1. Unity between God and man.
2. Personal Unity.
3. Unity with others.
1. Unity with God:
God was Adams heavenly father.
This is the foundation for a consistent experience of peace and fulfillment.
Adam had had perfect unity w/ God. Adam would walk with God…
Made in His Image – Cookie Cutter,
Adam wasn’t a babbling adult - hooked on phonics…
He didn’t have a child’s mind in an adult body. He was created with the character of God.
Adam wasn’t born into sin like we were. His spirit was untarnished. It was pure, holy, and innocent.
Romans 8:6 “…but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;”
So how did the curse come into play?
A. Seeking Independence
Adam and Eve broke their dependence on God in order to have self-control and self-rule.
Romans 8:5-8 (New International Version)
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man[a] is death, 7the sinful mind[b] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
“Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race”
~William Gladstone
Through their independence from God – The Curse began.
When we become selfish and seek our own desires is when the curse is active in our lives.
B. Choosing to please others rather than God.
Adam sought the approval of his Wife rather than Gods…
John 12:43 (Amplified Bible)
43For they loved the approval and the praise and the glory that come from men [instead of and] more than the glory that comes from God.
This is where compromise creeps into the home. We try to please our spouse, kids or other family members while bringing disappointment to God.
When we seek our own independence and to please others rather than God
This is where Christians break fellowship with God, they try to hide from God. (Adam and Eve hid in the garden)
Today we hear all kinds of excuses why people don’t come to church anymore…Church is where God is…two or three gathered – Christ’s Body.
One man stated that Sunday was his only day off to visit his pigs in the country.
Excuses:
• I used to go to church. – life time member
• My kids are in sports.
• That’s my only day off. – That was my only Son
• The Spirit of God is not allowed to move. – But don’t go anywhere else to church.
John 6:44 no one can be saved unless the Spirit draws them.
In the last 6 months we’ve had over new Kids 100 KOTR get saved.
In the last three months we have seen over 25 get saved.
The biggest reason people stay away from church is they really don’t want to know God and they don’t want God to really know them.
Because they don’t want to surrender their lives to Him.
We don’t set the rules, God isn’t suppose to adapt to us, God isn’t suppose to follow us around…
Ephesians 5:1 (Amplified)
“1THEREFORE BE imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example],…”
(The Message)
1Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Romans 9:20
20Who in the world do you think you are to second-guess God? Do you for one moment suppose any of us knows enough to call God into question? Clay doesn’t talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, "Why did you shape me like this?" 21Isn’t it obvious that a potter has a perfect right to shape one lump of clay into a vase for holding flowers and another into a pot for cooking beans?
Mark 12:30 (Contemporary English Version)
30You must love him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.’
2. Personal Unity – Relationship with ourselves.
Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Psychotics are people who see others as the problem. – Blame Victim mode – can’t help it – out of my control.
Neurotics are those who see themselves as the problem. Given up hope, can’t believe in themselves.
We can only give what we have.
Learn to accept ourselves. Our past, our mistakes, our short-comings. New future and a better tomorrow.
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
"I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
3. Unity with others – Mending and keeping relationships.
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."
There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother’s age.
An alarm clock is a device for waking people up who don’t have small kids.
A husband said to his wife, “You’re wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger.” She said, “that’s because I married the wrong man.”
The Zipper
John 13:34-35 (Contemporary English Version)
34But I am giving you a new command. You must love each other, just as I have loved you. 35If you love each other, everyone will know that you are my disciples.
Hebrews 12 MSG
14Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God.
The quickest way to Overlook an Offense
Proverbs 19:11
11Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.
Most marital arguments would be eliminated by this principle.
1. Restrain our Anger.
2. Overlook an offense.
3. Talk about things that we shouldn’t overlook.
