I’ve titled the sermon, “when you are stabbed in the back” because it’s a fact of life that at some point in your life someone is going to stab you in the back, take advantage of you, cheat you, rob you, or do you wrong in some way. A “friend” might gossip about you, sharing your deepest darkest secret. A fellow coworker might lie about you so they get the promotion ahead of you. Someone might take you to the cleaners and financially harm you out of their greed, but it is inevitable because people sin.
As we focus on the life of David this summer, we realize David knew what it was like to get stabbed in the back by the same person, King Saul. On several occasions King Saul tried to harm David:
1. On the first occasion, which we read this morning, Saul literally tried to pin David to the wall with his spear, while David was serving in Saul’s court playing his harp to try to soothe the fits he was experiencing.
2. Saul sent David into war as a commander over a thousand men (possibly a demotion), with the hopes that David would get killed.
3. As a reward for defeating Goliath, Saul was supposed to give his daughter Merab away in marriage to the victor, but after David defeated Goliath Saul added another requirement of continued military service to marry her, and once David humbly declined to marry her, Saul gave her in marriage to another man.
4. Later Saul actively pursued David across the nation of Israel to kill him. David had to go into hiding for years moving around from place to place to flee from Saul.
Why would a man like Saul try to stab David in the back? David never did anything against Saul, in fact David helped Saul in many ways. David played his harp to soothe `1victory against their enemies, thereby helping Saul. Why was Saul so adamant about destroying David? Look with me at 18:6:
1 Sam. 18:6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes. 7 As they danced, they sang: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands." 8 Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. "They have credited David with tens of thousands," he thought, "but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?" 9 And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.
Saul tried to backstab David because Saul was jealous of David. A few verses later in verse 12 it says, “Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with David but had left Saul.” Saul was no dummy. He knew God had taken his blessing off of him because he disobeyed God, and he realized God was blessing David instead, and he was both jealous and afraid that David would take his throne, and so he decided to strike first against David by attacking him and causing him grief.
When people stab you in the back or cause you harm to you, frequently it is done out of jealousy or fear. A coworker may be jealous because you have integrity and are a hard worker. You receive praises from the boss, or are rewarded for your diligence. Perhaps a friend is jealous of your life, you’re happily married, you have obedient children, you have a good job, a large house, whatever. Rather than turning to God and working to have a life like yours, they decide they want to bring you down to the misery they are experiencing by trying to harm you, or your reputation. Christians have been known to be targets because, like David, God blesses people who have a heart for him. God shows his favor upon those who life their life for him, and like Saul people become jealous of that blessing, especially when they do not have it.
Even though David was stabbed in the back on several occasions by Saul, David teaches us what our response should be when someone wrongs us, what God wants us to do, or rather what God doesn’t want us to do.
David teaches us:
1. Do not get revenge, revenge is for God alone
No matter how many times Saul tried to get David, David never got even with Saul. We never read of David saying, “that’s the last straw, I’m going to take him out.” Even though David had the Lord’s blessing and anointing to be the next king, David never took action against Saul, even though Saul did so many horrible things to him.
When David was a fugitive running from Saul, there were even two occasions when the Lord placed Saul right into David’s hands but David did not take out Saul. On the first occasion David was hiding in a cave with some of his fighting men, and Saul walked into that very cave to…ah…relieve himself (you can’t say the Bible isn’t candid). His troops tried to convince David that he should take Saul’s life. They even tried to coerce David by making him think God wanted him to take out Saul, they said, "This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands to deal with as you wish.’” There was Saul right in front of him, vulnerable, he could end his life, get revenge, and place himself on the throne as king and with David’s popularity no one would have argued with him. But because of David’s close relationship with God, David knew it was wrong to take revenge on Saul even though his own men were telling him otherwise, even when it appeared as though God was making it possible. Yet I wonder if perhaps Leviticus 19:18 was running through David’s head. Lev. 19:18 says:
NIV Leviticus 19:18 "’Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.”
David could have argued, God is obviously giving Saul into my hands so that I might kill him.
What did David do? David snuck up in the darkness and cut a piece of Saul’s robe off. After Saul left the cave, David came out and yelled out to Saul his innocence in the rumors that David was trying to kill Saul. He concluded by saying:
1 Sam. 24:12 May the LORD judge between you and me. And may the LORD avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you.
David didn’t take revenge even though the circumstances made it possible, even though David’s friends were encouraging him to do it, David believed it was the Lord who would avenge David, not himself.
Many times when someone stabs us in the back, or harms us, it is our gut reaction to return the favor and get them back. Yet David’s life reminds us that it is never right to take revenge, even if our friends try to convince us otherwise, even if the situation presents itself to get revenge easily.
In the NT (Romans 12:17-19), the Apostle Paul reminds us of this when he writes:
Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
As Christians we are called to live at peace with those around us, to love our neighbors, which means we must refrain from revenge and grudges and trust God to take vengeance because God is in control of the situation and God understands it far better than we do. God is just and able to judge perfectly. Revenge is a sin and a hollow victory.
a. Tell the Truth, but Do Not Trash Talk the Other Person
Revenge includes more subversive ways such as trash talking about the person, saying bad things about them, assassinating their character behind their back. We can tell the truth, but as soon as we make judgment calls about their character we have moved over into a form of revenge. Even with all of the horrible things Saul did to David, David never trash talked Saul. He told the truth. He confronted Saul’s son Jonathan, who David happened to be good friends with, he told Jonathan that his father the king was trying to kill him. But David never trash talked Saul behind his back. He never slammed Saul’s character, or made snide remarks about Saul, or made fun of Saul with his troops. In fact David defended Saul.
I think we need to keep the old adage, “if you can’t say anything nice…don’t say anything at all.”
2. Be Faithful (stick it out)
Even after Saul tried to literally stab David in the back, David continued to serve Saul faithfully. David did not serve in Saul’s presence. If you are stabbed in the back you probably don’t want to make yourself a target. Rather Saul put David as commander of a thousand troops, or as the NLT puts it “only a thousand troops,” as though this were a demotion for David. Yet in verse 16 it says, “David faithfully led his troops into battle.” David faithfully served his position even if it wasn’t as high ranking as David deserved, even though his superior was trying to send him into battle to die. David could have taken this as a signal to leave the army, perhaps even try to form his own army because of his popularity, but David believed God was in control, and God would see fit to place David where he needed to be.
It’s easy to argue that because someone backstabs us, we should throw in the towel. A friend turns her back on me, so I’ll turn my back on her. Not revenge, just washing my hands of this person. My boss or coworker is making my life a living hell, this must be God’s sign that I should leave. I deserve better than to work for or with this horrible person. That is not necessarily true. Perhaps like David, God is using the experience to build your character, refining you in the furnace of difficult circumstances. God used David’s circumstance with Saul to build David’s character and faith so that when he did become king, he could face difficult circumstances because he had already been through the fire and he had already learned how to lean upon God through tough times. In fact, while David was on the run from Saul was when David wrote many of the poems and songs we have in the book of Psalms in the Bible. In fact I invite you to read Psalm 142 this week, which was written by David when he was hiding for his life in the caves. We wouldn’t have Psalms like these if it wasn’t for David’s experience.
Be careful in how you discern God’s will in these situations. Maybe God wants you to be in that situation. Perhaps it is by being in these situations God can refine your faith, and allow you to be a witness of that faith to those around you. David’s character and faith during these difficult times endeared his men to him. They honored him and would follow David anywhere because they of his courage and integrity.
At the same time I don’t believe God wants us to be martyrs either. We need to realize when it is time to leave a relationship or circumstance in life. We shouldn’t be anyone’s punching bag, and take abuse after abuse. When Saul finally got in his mind he was going to kill David, David got smart and fled. David had to get out of the situation before he was injured or even killed.
3. Offer forgiveness
The last step is not quite from David’s life although it is implied, but it is true for us as Christians. Not only should we refrain from seeking revenge, and stick it out, but as Christians the Bible tells us we need to go the extra mile. Jesus told us we must forgive people for what they have done to us.
Matthew 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, ’Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Forgiving people is not an option for us as Christians. But forgiveness is not our natural response is it? Revenge is a natural response. Forgiveness is the supernatural work of God. Forgiveness is only possible by God through Jesus Christ. We are able to forgive because we have been forgiven.
NIV Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
When Jesus died on the cross, he made it possible for God to forgive us of our sins, from the things we have done wrong. Jesus became the sacrifice for our sins. We simply need to ask for God’s forgiveness, and believe we are forgiven because of Jesus. Then God filled us with his Spirit so we have the supernatural ability to forgive others, even the vilest offender. Some people have said to me I can’t forgive this person, you don’t realize what they have done to me. Yes, it is possible with God help.
Story of Jim and Marilyn Walker. A few years ago I was at a workshop, and the couple giving the workshop, Jim and Marilyn Walker (banner making) shared about what happened to their son. They told how their son was brutally murdered. They shared how difficult it was, how angry they were that this man took their son away from him. Rather than allowing their anger to consume them and cause them to become bitter, they did something which is only possible by the power of the cross. They went to the jail and sat down with their son’s killer and proceeded to tell him that they forgave him for what he had done. They said it was the most difficult thing they had ever done, it was only possible by God’s help. They could have sought revenge by pushing for the death penalty, but instead they offered forgiveness, and as a result the man experienced the radical forgiveness of Jesus Christ first hand through this couple.
When feelings of revenge arise in your mind, focus on the cross, and remember how much God has forgiven you. He bore your sins, so you do not need to face the penalty of eternity in hell. He offers complete forgiveness to any who ask and believe.
Conclusion:
This morning if you are resentful of the way someone has treated you, if you are holding a grudge against that person, hoping you can retaliate or get back, you need to ask God to free you from that bondage. Perhaps you have already taken revenge or trash talked that person behind their back. You need to ask God to forgive you and set you free from anger, guilt. Ultimately the only true way to be set free is simply to forgive. Claim God’s power to forgive through Jesus Christ. Begin by asking his forgiveness for excusing and cultivating that deep root of bitterness within your own heart. Ask him to expose it in all its ugliness and put it to death. Jesus endured the cross so you can be forgiven and receive the power to offer forgiveness to others.
