Celebration of Life
Avalee Duncan Atkins
March 2, 1926 – January 22, 2006
By: Pastor Kent Wise
13 If I speak in the tongues d of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Today we have come to celebrate the life of Avalee Duncan Atkins (Mom-mom). In my life I have come not to believe in coincidences but rather to believe in God incidences and today is one of those times. You see, Mom-mom was preceded in death by her first husband of 42 years, Deedo. Deedo went home to be with the Lord on Sunday, January 22, 1984. I am not superstitious but I believe Mom-mom’s passing on the same day was God’s offer of grace and love to a family that has experienced a lot of sorrow and pain in the last few months. This was a reminder that the love that was shared between a husband and wife can not be overcome even by death. This was a reminder for us to remember that God’s love through Jesus Christ will strengthen us and encourage in this time of loss. I mention this because it was Deedo and Mom-mom that instilled into the children and grandchildren the love and faith practices that would carry you throughout their lives.
In a time when the definition of family is being challenged throughout our great land, those who know this family witnessed I believe, the family unit as God intended. Mom-mom and Deedo were married at the ages of 15 and 17 respectively. By the age of 21 and 23, all five children were born. I’m 41 with four children and it’s hard for me and Emily to keep up. I can only imagine how they must of felt. But Mom-mom had the gift of administration and she ran her household effectively and efficiently. She performed her task of mother and wife with a great deal of love and nurturing. In her last years, Mom-mom’s unselfish sharing of love would come back to her in many ways too numerous to speak of here. However, with that said, I think that we would all agree that we witnessed love come round in full circle in Mom-mom’s life as Jean and Mary Ellen would share in the caring and nurturing for Muncey and Avalee during their last years on earth. Pat, Joan, and Freddie would fill in to give the other two a break. During this time, I noticed that not only did the mother child relationship strengthen but also the sibling relationship strengthened. Mary Ellen, Pat, Joan, Freddie you have been given a wonderful gift. The gift of seeing what Mom-mom lived take root in each of you. As you go from forward today, I believe you will see the legacy of Mom-mom’s love lived out in each of you and in your families.
Emily, Leigh, Ellen, John, Harvey, Duncan you too have been given a gift on this day. The gift of knowing that Mom-mom loved each of you tremendously. In the memories that you have of your visits to her home, to her work, and to just sit around and talk, Mom-mom’s love lives on in each of you. Take the gift that she gave to you with great anticipation. The anticipation that one day, the love will come back around to each of you as you share your love with your children. Love is indeed patient and kind. Love does endure. Love, Mom-mom’s love lives on today in this family.
As I listened to the stories from Mary Ellen, Pat, Joan, and Freddie, I could not help but to see God’s touch upon this family from the very beginning. They shared with me the story of a mother and father being saved and baptized. They shared with me the story of loving parents who would encourage each of them to “reach for the stars”. They shared me the story of loving parents that would discipline with unconditional love. Yes, today we can call Mom-mom blessed, for she was a lady who practiced her faith and lived her life glorifying God. Anything that I say in the remainder of our time together can not compare with the way that Mom-mom lived her life. For her life modeled what St Francis of Assisi meant when he said, “preach the Gospel always, use words if necessary”. Mom-moms actions spoke volumes about how she cherished her family, friends, and even people in general.
It has always surprised me at how we document a person’s life. Think about it for a second. We always put the birth date, followed by a dash, to be followed by the date of their departure from this life. I submit to you that the two dates are really not what is important. For what is important is the dash. You see, the dash represents all the time that Mom-mom was with us here on earth. The dash represents all the ways that Mom-mom shared here love, her talents, her life with each of us. This brothers and sisters is what is really important, the dash, for the dash is the
times that Mom-mom touched our lives in the way that only she could.
In the Corinthians passage Paul is telling us that extraordinary gifts, grand abilities and skills, extravagant actions–all these, ironically, are emptied of any worth without love. Furthermore, with the mention of each item, the refrains describing lovelessness become more blatantly self-indulgent, more individualistic, and more self-serving. The point, subtly but powerfully made, is that no matter how magnificent the accomplishment, power, or action, when love is missing the exercise in question becomes vain, selfish, fruitless, and individualistic. I am “come later” to this family. However, without this family, without Mom-mom I would not know how to love today. Mom-mom’s life illustrated the love of a wife and mother for her husband, Deedo and later Muncey; for her children, Mary Ellen, Pat, Joan, Freddy, and Jean. In return the love that they received has been passed forward to the grandchildren and others. That’s where I come in; others. I’m sure that the other “come laters” feel the same way that I do. For Mom-mom loved her family and in return her family has loved each of us. Love’s quest can never begin with the question “What’s in it for me?” Instead, love looks first to the other and asks, “What is best for you?” “What would help you?” Mom-mom knew this best. Growing up in a family of six children, she learned to love her brothers and sisters early. Wade and Peg, your sister loved you dearly. That was evident by the way she spoke often of each of you. Then, From working with Deedo to raise their children to working with the public at Belk and Sydneys, to caring for the residents of the nursing home, Mom-mom always carried out her life’s work with a dash of love added in for good measure. You see, Mom-mom knew that the proper movement of love began with attention to the needs of the other person.
The second part of verse 2 Paul speaks of a love that can move mountains. If mountains come and go, but love endures; if love is greater even than faith and hope, then not only does our loving endure beyond us but our loving is our enduring legacy as well. This is significant to the family and to the friends. For in this passage, I believe we begin to see that Mom-mom lives on in each of us because she shared her love with us. She gave of herself to each of us here so that we would be better persons. She gave of herself, unselfishly, not boasting or bragging, but out of the generosity and hospitality that embodied this wonderful, beautiful lady. Her beauty was not only physical, it was also found in the way she carried herself. Pat would call her “Missy Prissy” as a way to affectionately tease her. Mom-mom loved that I believe. She knew that her faith witness was a part of being. Granted, our loving and its legacy can take many forms, but for Mom-mom it was a way of life.
In the last few months, Mom-mom as well as the other family members would come together after the tragic death of Jean. It was a joy to see how Mom-mom would react when Jerry would enter the room. Mom-mom loved Jean and her love for Jerry was a result of the oneness that Jean and Jerry shared in their marriage. A oneness that we can conclude began with the love that mom-mom had for Jean.
Not only did Mom-mom beam with joy when Jerry came by she would also respond in her last days to each of her children as they cared for her. She would ask each of them if they needed something or how they were feeling. Even when she was facing death, she still loved and cared for those around her.
One of the most cherished memories that I will take from Mom-mom’s final days with us was the way her face would light up whenever Freddy and Joan would sing to her. She loved the Gaither’s and she loved to hear her children sing. The musical talent is a gift and in her final days, the children would share their God given gift to bring joy, peace and love into very chaotic circumstances. This is the Good News of God’s love for each of us here today. God’s love through Jesus Christ, can bring peace in times of turmoil and hope in times of despair. Mom-mom knew this. Mom-mom knew that God loved her, that God was with her, and that Christ was her savior. Yes, we can indeed call her blessed.
Mom-mom knew that authentic, unconditional love could only be shared through personal relationships. One such relationship that Mom-mom cherished was with Mozelle Wineset and her husband Ralph. Mom-mom would spend over half of her life, 50 years, in a friendship with Mozelle. Mozelle, this is a testament to the love that you two shared. It is a testament to the grace of our Lord.
Another legacy of love that Mom-mom leaves with each of us occurred right here at Mt. Vale United Methodist Church. From teaching Sunday School in her younger years to making Apple Butter, MMM yall know that apple butter, to baking pies, Mom-mom shared her gift of hospitality with every one. Rick, she was the type of parishioner that would have biscuits for you when you came by to visit, fresh vegetables from her garden to take home with you when you left, and something sweet to have for your bed-time indulgence. In other words, a trip to Mom-mom’s was experiencing a little slice of heaven here on earth.
While I’m on the topic of the garden, does anyone here know how many quarts of beans were canned in their lifetime? Emily tells me that most of the family vacations had to be planned around the harvesting of beans. This family tradition of picking and canning beans will always be remembered as love, hard work, and love were shared openly and together. No wonder that her favorite hymn was “In the Garden”. For it was in the garden that Mom-mom realized the full nature of her spiritual life found in Jesus Christ and the full nature of her physical life found in the sharing of earth’s riches with her family and friends.
Finally, Paul tells us in the last verse that faith, hope, and love are to be cherished. Of the three love is the greatest. The famous Pauline triad is most clearly present here in his letter to the Corinthians. Paul cannot imagine life in Christ without each part of the triad being in place and fully functioning; all three must remain whatever else may come and go or change or however different one believer is from another. Love, grounded in God becomes a signal towards the eternal characteristics of God’s commitment towards all. And that love is eternal. That is the promise to each of us who profess Christ as Savior. This is the promise that ensures that their is victory over death. Faith, hope, and love endure. And my friends, Love is the matrix of the life of faith; God’s love for people becomes the force that enables each of us to love others. So, you see, for Mom-mom, her love for each of us was a result of the overflowing love of God in her life. Her love for us was a natural by-product of the hope and faith that she realized because of her relationship with Christ. Mom-mom’s love will endure, Mom-mom’s love will never end. Mom-mom’s love will be a part of each of us always.
To conclude our time together, I would like to share with you a poem written by Linda Ellis in 1996. Remember the dash between the two dates, hear these words now as we celebrate Mom-mom’s life:
There is no doubt in my mind. Today, we celebrate the life of Avalee Duncan Atkins (Mom-mom), because she spent her dash very well. Let Us Pray…
