THE AWESOME POWER OF ATTITUDE, PART TWO
"GETTING ALONG WITH
THE MOST SIGNIFICANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE"
Question; Do you know who is the most significant person in your life?
The person we are going to talk about today is the key to all of your relationships. If you don’t have a good attitude toward this person, you are not going to get along very well with anyone.
J Martin Kohe in his book, "Your Greatest Power," tells about an explorer who went to the wilds of Africa. He took a number of trinkets with him for the natives. Among the trinkets were 2 full length mirrors. He placed these mirrors against 2 trees and sat down to talk to some of his men about the exploration.
While talking, the explorer noticed that a savage approached the mirror with a spear in his hand. As he looked into the mirror He saw his refection. He began to jab at his opponent in the mirror as though he was a real person, going through all the motions of killing him. Of course, he broke the mirror into pieces. Seeing this, the explorer walked over to savage and asked why he had smashed the mirror, The native replied, "He go kill me. I kill him first."
All of the trouble however, was with the native himself. It was caused by his own faulty thinking.
When it comes to getting along with others; most of our problems are caused because we are our own worst enemy. If we are to master, the art of getting along, we must learn how to feel good about ourselves.
Now, God expects us to feel good about ourselves, in fact, he said we are to love ourselves first, then and only then can we truly have a good loving relationship with others. It can be summed up in this one commandment, "Love others as you love yourself..." (Gal 5:14 LB)
It is clear from this commandment that you are really unable to love others if you cannot love yourself.
Now we are not talking about love in a selfish Narcissistic kind of way, but rather a love where we like ourselves and have a healthy attitude about ourselves...
Tragically though when some people look in the mirror, they do not like what they see -- they like the native see an enemy, an obstacle, a problem. But understand the problem is not in the mirror - it is not in ourselves but it is in our own faulty thinking about ourselves.
Someone has said,
IF YOU DON’T A HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE
TOWARDS YOURSELF,
YOUR NEIGHBOR IS IN BIG TROUBLE....
And that’s true, people who don’t like themselves can be very dangerous and unpleasant people to be around.
Today, we want to talk about 4 attitudes that you need to choose and then cultivate in order for you to get along with yourself and in turn get along with others.
ATTITUDE #1 BE A FORGIVING PERSON
3 of the most beautiful and most powerful words in all of the world are, "I am forgiven."
QUESTION; WHO IS THE HARDEST PERSON FOR YOU TO FORGIVE?
Sometimes the hardest person for us to forgive is ourselves. Far too many people become there own judge, jury and executioner, continuing to inflict blow upon blow of self-condemnation upon themselves.
Understand that nothing destroys one’s self-esteem more than a depressing recall of shameful deeds and re-runs of past failures.
It’s a burden far too large for any of us to carry.
It weighs us down...
And it can result in continual trouble brewing from the inside.
QUESTION; IS THERE SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT FORGIVEN YOURSELF FOR?
Are there some past failures you just keep on re-running in your mind, recalling and reliving that defeat you leaving you immobilized.
A large fruit tree blew over in a storm. When the farmer was asked what he was going to do about it, he declared, "You see, it has fruit on the branches. I’m going to gather the fruit. Then I will burn the tree, plant a new tree and move on..."
Sometimes experiences, relationships and situations in our lives are uprooted by the storms that descend upon us -- and often times those storms are self-produced.
But understand, every one those experiences still has some fruit for us. Some lessons for us to learn.
But once we’ve learned the lesson, once we have picked the fruit from it’s branches it’s time for us to burn that tree (that failure, that sin..etc) plant a new tree and then move on... It does no good for you to stare at fallen tree and simply watch the remaining fruit die, leaves wither and branches crumble.
pick-burn-move on
If you have done wrong ask God for forgiveness, and then accept His forgiveness by forgiving yourself...
Remember, Christ was Hung Up for Our Hang ups...
Remember also that forgiveness is always by grace, it’s never earned, warranted or deserved. Believing in Jesus means accepting His atonement for your sin and shame. I have always loved these great promises of God in regards to His forgiveness.
"He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities...as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us..." - Ps 103:10,12
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
-- 1 John 1:9
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." - Romans 8:1
PEOPLE WHO FEEL GOOD ABOUT
THEMSELVES ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE
ACCEPTED CHRIST’S FORGIVENESS
COMPLETELY AND HAVE FORGIVEN Themselves
You see, it is so much easier to forgive others when you have completely accepted God’s forgiveness and have forgiven yourself!
And the ability to forgive is a key attitude you must develop in order to get along with others.
ATTITUDE #1; BE A FORGIVING PERSON (FORGIVE OURSELF/OTHERS)
ATTITUDE 2 - BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE
Do you know it’s much easier to believe in God than it is to believe in yourself? If you were to conduct a survey asking 100 people if they believe in God, 99% would say yes.
But when you ask those same people if they believe in themselves, most of them would have difficulty in saying yes. Scores of people suffer from lack of self-confidence. Many mistakenly think of themselves as inferior, worthless as no good... And if you do not have self-confidence, you will not like yourself very much. And when you don’t like yourself very much you will have a bad attitude....
QUESTION; DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?
Now a lack of confidence can happen to any of us at times, but what can we do so that when we are asked, "do you believe in yourself," we will be able to give a resounding YES! in reply.
We need to do 2 things
#1 STOP COMPARING;
One of the main reasons most people have low self-confidence is because they are trying to be some one else - because they are trying to be something, or someone they are not.
Have you ever played the comparing game?
How did it make you feel?
One of the most vivid illustrations of the danger of comparing yourself to others, an illustration that demonstrates just how destructive it can be is found in the Old Testament.
He was the first King of Israel, he was head & shoulders taller than anyone else in the entire nation and he was a good warrior who had won many great battles.
And in 1 Samuel chapter 18 we read;
"King Saul now kept David at Jerusalem and wouldn’t let him return home anymore. He was Saul’s special assistant, and he always carried out his assignments, successfully. So Saul made him commander of his troops, an appointment which was applauded by the army and general public alike. But something had happened when the victorious Israeli army was returning home after David had killed Goliath. Women came out from all the towns along the way to celebrate and to cheer for King Saul, and were singing and dancing for joy with tambourines and cymbals.
However, this was their song:`Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands!’
Of course Saul was very angry, `What’s this?’ he said to himself. `they credit David with 10,000 and me with only 1000’s. Next they’ll be making him their king!’ So from that time on King saul kept a jealous watch on David."
Notice that the women still gave Saul credit for who he was and what he did - but Saul was not content with that, Saul wanted credit for who he was not. Therefore he could not enjoy David’s success.
The first step in being confident in who you are is to stop playing the comparing game. Stop comparing yourself to others - it’s destructive... When we do this we will always lose because we can’t ever be anyone else and we were never meant to be
#2 YOU NEED TO START CENTERING
Fear and self-doubt really plaque us and they destroy our confidence. Numerous people who are convinced they are not worth much, keep working to attain their self-worth, when the truth is God gave you your worth at birth.
To develop confidence we need to start centering...
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Perhaps one of the most courageous and confident men of OT is Joshua. When I reflect on Joshua, 2 questions usually pop into
my mind.
First, why did Joshua succeed in leading the children of Israel into the promised land when the great leader Moses couldn’t do it?
Second, what gave this young man the courage to move across the Jordan river, march into Jericho take the city and posses the promise land.
When facing this big task, Joshua was admonished 3 different times to have courage, confidence and boldness and strength. Where does one get this kind of confidence? We find the key for Joshua’s and the key for our confidence in:
EXODUS 33:7-11
"BUT HIS YOUNG AIDE, JOSHUA SON OF NUN, DID NOT LEAVE THE TENT"
In other words, Joshua just didn’t spend a little time with God, he stayed there along time, he hung around. He soaked in the presence of God....
So where did Joshua get his confidence & courage? He got it from being with God. He got it from centering on who God wanted him to be, who God made him to be, on who he was with God in him. The key to Joshua’s success is that he didn’t try to be another Moses, he just tried to be the Joshua God wanted him to be.
You see, the more time you spend with God in fellowship the more you are going to see your confidence grow. The closer you get to God the better you’ll know yourself. God will reveal to you who you are supposed to be... When you find God you find your true self - and these leads to confidence. The Apostle Paul spent a lot of time with God and he wrote these words, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens (straightens - spell check mistake but a lot of truth to it) me..." (Phil 4:13)
We honor God, not by trying to be like someone else, but by being who God made us to be. We spent 12 weeks talking about how we each are unique in God’s eyes, how we each have a purpose...
How the promise of Jeremiah 29:13 applies to each of us.
When you are who God made you to be, it with increase your confidence and improve your attitude.
The 3rd attitude you need to develop in order to get along with yourself and with others is:
ATTITUDE 3 BE A PERSON THAT YOU CAN RESPECT
A cartoon pictured a young man saying to his pastor, "being a pastor must be really hard. I mean, living for others, living an exemplary life, having everyone watch your life to see if you make any mistakes, sets up a lot of pressure. I don’t know how you handle it." The pastor sheepishly relied, "I stay home a lot!"
Whoever you are, and whatever your responsibility is in life, it is important that you be true to your highest ideals, live by the values you say that you believe.
Shakespeare said it this way, "To thine own self be true."
Understand that you can’t be dishonest and still feel good about yourself.
You can’t live in immorality and still have self-respect. A young lady came to her pastor and wanted to know why she felt cheap and used. The answer was simple. It was because she kept hopping in and out of bed with different men. (Woman at the well had no self respect - she didn’t like herself very much - she walked with her head down, drawing water at the heat of the day..)
Understand that no matter who is doing it, promoting it or saying it’s okay the truth is; IF YOU GO AGAINST WHAT IS RIGHT AND DO WHAT IS WRONG, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF... If you live your life contrary to what you say is important to you - you will have no self-respect.
LOW MORALS = LOW SELF ESTEEM
Self respect is so vital for you to hold on to, it makes a huge difference in your attitude when you can look at yourself straight in the eyes and know you are living like you should.. A person who is honest in business has the satisfaction of know he is an honest person. A person who lives a clean moral life has the inner satisfaction of knowing his life is clean. A person who is doing his best to lead a Christian life has the wonderful satisfaction of knowing that he is living to please God.
ATTITUDE 4 - BE A PERSON WHO REACHES BEYOND
Too many people do only what they have to do to get by. They don’t really live, they just exist. (some times churches can fall into the same trap of just existing, just getting by) -- I don’t want to be that kind of person - I want to be the kind of person that is reaching beyond - stretching forward, growing, moving forward - I want to live each day to it’s fullest. And I think that’s the kind of people you want to be too. And I know it’s who God has made us to be...
Recently I read this passage before prayer 1 morning at church...
Listen to 2 Corinthians 6;
"Companions as we are in this work with you, please don’t squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us...Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but your living them i a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!"
GROWTH IS THE GOAL THAT GOD HAS FOR EACH OF US;
LIFE, FULL & ABUNDANT IS WHAT HE WANTS TO GIVE EACH OF US
QUESTION; What keeps YOU back? What keeps YOU from reaching beyond and growing?
For many it’s their past again. For you see one cannot hold totally to the past and be at the same time pressing onward to the future.
Let go of the failures of the past, or maybe it’s the successes of the past that you need to let go. But let the past go because Today really is the first day of the rest of your life...
Paul said it this way; "But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize." (Phil 3:12-14)
Have you ever watched a toddler climbing, stretching and reaching? I mean you can almost see toddlers growing daily as they are reaching beyond.
The way to you feel good about yourself is to keep going beyond where you are. Sometimes what you need is a new challenge, a new goal, something different to reach for.
Did you know that the largest locomotive in the New York system, while standing still, can be prevented from moving by a single one inch block of wood placed in front of each of the 8 drive wheels? Yet, that same train moving at 100 mph, can crash through a wall of steel reinforced concrete 5 feet thick.
What’s the difference? momentum!
QUESTION; HAS YOUR LIFE LOST MOMENTUM?
When you keep reaching beyond to do something greater for God, WHEN YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO DO THE MOST YOU CAN, with the one life you have, you will build up momentum. Hebrews 11 calls these kinds of people men and women of faith. There’s was a faith like a locomotive, crashing through; uncertainty, new lands, persecution, famine, sword, flogging and even death - nothing could stop their train of faith... . You know there names they were men who were reaching beyond - Noah; Abraham; Jacob, Isaac, David; Moses; Gideon and more...
Are you living in faith or are you just existing?
Are we as a church living in faith or just existing?
People who feel good about themselves are people who keep pressing toward the mark.
As I wrote these words I remembered a devotion Dr Louis Foster, a college professor - translator of Acts & Luke in NIV, gave one day before class in 1988...
He told how one of his first ministries was in a farming town. One day he wet to a members farm and talked with him and began to pick corn with him. As he was working he noticed that this farm had a whole lot more corn then he did...
He asked the farmer how did he did this so quick - he said that while he was working on one piece of corn he always had his eyes looking for the next one to pick.
Dr Foster said that was how he tired to live his life....(and he has) 80+ years old and like Caleb still looking for the next mountain to climb...
(sometimes we settled for life in the lowlands)
What do you say? Let’s press on, beyond, to where we have never gone before! The group New Song has a song about this...
People who reach beyond are the ones who are the pacesetters. For example, how many giant killers were in Saul’s army? None.
But when David went beyond by faith, and faced the giant. Goliath, and won the battle, he opened the door for others to go beyond. In 1 Chronicles 20:4-8, we read about 3 more men of Israel’s army who killed giants, one killed Goliath’s brother.
QUESTION Why do you suppose there were no giant killers in Saul’s army? Because Saul was not a giant killer himself.
Take a lesson form a rubber band. Look at a rubber band. When does it find it’s value? When it stretches. Our lives are like that. When we stretch in faith, then we rally begin to find our true worth and value.
