Lies our Teens are Falling For.
My project this spring and summer has been trying to grow a new lawn. I made the mistake last winter of not getting our leaves up in time and they sat, raked in a big pile for the entire winter. When we finally got around to raking them up, it was too late for our grass, so we had a huge circle in our lawn that was completely bare, along with a corner of the front yard where my brother got stuck in the snow and spun his tires for 15 minutes. I learned an interesting thing about grass. Even if you follow all of the directions, that doesn’t guarantee that the grass will grow. Some will sprout right up, other seeds took much longer, some haven’t grown at all yet. Grass will grow under my sidewalk through concrete but I can’t get it to grow in the nice soft dirt with fertilizer and all that good stuff!
Working with the grass has reminded me of my job of working with teens and of parenting teens. Both can be frustrating, both take a lot of time, effort, and attention, and both can have beautiful end results. And like the grass seed, you never quite know what you’re going to get with each teen. Some will thrive with love and spiritual food and some will seemingly not respond at all, only to sprout some time down the road. Then there are those that will never respond and refuse to grow despite our best efforts. No matter how different each teen is there are certain things that as parents and youth workers, we know are beneficial to every teen and there are things we know are harmful to every teen. They may respond in different ways to these things but deep within the heart of every teen are certain needs and insecurities that Satan loves to exploit and take advantage of to turn the hearts and minds of our teens away from the God who created them and loves them. This morning I want to look at just three of the lies our teens are falling for.
Lie # 1 Freedom means Forgetting
High School is an exciting time. You are growing up and becoming an adult and learning to make decisions on your own as your parents begin the process of letting go of their little child. You get your driver’s license, your first boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re spending more time with friends and less with family. A lot of changes are taking place and there is a freedom that has never been there before. Graduates, when you go away to school, or move out and get your own place and a job, suddenly, you answer to yourself. That’s exciting, freedom is fun. It can also be incredibly dangerous if the exercise of your freedom leads to the setting aside of all that your parents have built into you.
Andy Illustration: Our dog obeyed inside, but if he got loose, it was a different story. He was a different dog but it took a near tragedy (getting run over)to bring about that change.
So many teens equate freedom with throwing off the teachings and discipline of their parents to find their own way in the world. Without realizing it, in exercising their freedom, they are stumbling back into the bondage of sin that comes from an undisciplined life.
Teens, listen to these words in Proverbs that show the importance of your parents teaching and correction.
PR 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
PR 1:9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
PR 6:20 My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
PR 6:21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck.
PR 6:22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
PR 6:23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life,
Parents, never stop teaching and training your teen and teenager, be thankful for the parents God has given you and honor and keep near to you the things you are taught. Satan would have you believe as you leave the house that freedom is about casting off and moving on. True freedom is found in clinging. Clinging to what you were taught, clinging to faith in a depraved world, and clinging to Christ who alone can give you freedom from the lies and tricks Satan has planned for you.
Lie #2 Acceptance is Worth the Compromises
When I started thinking of temptations that teens face, so many jumped into my mind. Drugs, sex, alcohol, bad language, movie they watch, music they listen to, and the list goes on and on and most can be traced back to the desire to fit in.
Parents, do not ever underestimate the power and the dangers of your teen’s need for acceptance, the need to fit in. It’s the dreaded feeling of being the only one at a lunch table or being in a room where you don’t know anyone and no one seems interested in talking to you. Relationships are a huge part of the way God made us. He saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone so He created a companion for him. We are made to interact and the fear of being alone or different from the crowd can drive a teenager to do things that are entirely contrary to their nature and personality.
This is not a new problem and is certainly not unique among teenagers, as many adults struggle with their identity and how they fit in certain places and situations. The entire Old Testament is a case study in a longing for acceptance and in many cases, the willingness of Israel to do anything to fit in with the nations around them. God promised them their own land and delivered them from Egypt. He put them in a position where they were surrounded by pagan nations and had the opportunity to be a light in a great darkness.
2 Kings 17:15 talks about one of the many times that Israel compromised her beliefs and took the easy road of trying to blend in:
15 They rejected his decrees and the covenant he had made with their fathers and the warnings he had given them. They followed worthless idols and themselves became worthless. They imitated the nations around them although the LORD had ordered them, "Do not do as they do," and they did the things the LORD had forbidden them to do.
Graduates, you will be entering a new phase of life and thrown into new situations and meet new people and there will be the temptation to do what it takes to fit in, to follow the crowd. It doesn’t matter if you are going to a Christian college, a secular college, the military, or the workplace, there will be temptation to blend in at any cost. The temptation will be very real to abandon your beliefs and morals because they are different or unpopular. The decisions you make in the next couple of weeks and months about relationships and where you fit in and how far you’ll go when looking for acceptance will shape the person you become. Stand up for who you are and for what you believe, don’t abandon God at the first sign of trouble or conflict, learn to lean on Him and find your self-worth and confidence in Him alone.
1PE 2:11 Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
When the people you come in contact with see a consistency between word and deed and an outlook on life that doesn’t change with a bad hair day, they will be drawn to Christ and His life changing love through their encounter with you.
Choose your friends wisely, Paul warns us that "Bad company corrupts good character.”
Decide now what you believe and where you stand or the people you spend your time with will decide it for you.
Lie #3 God Only Uses the Finished Product or I’ll help out when I’m older.
I never cease to be amazed at some of the excuses that I hear from teens as to why they aren’t involved in ministry. Why they aren’t using their God given gifts and talents to strengthen and build up the kingdom of God. By far, the most popular excuse I hear is that there are things they need to get straight with God first, and then they’ll be ready. I can tell you that not one of the many teens from whose mouth I heard those words has had the kind of significant impact on our ministry that they could have with the way God has gifted them.
Teens, Satan would love to convince you that until your life is perfect, you are of no use to God. If that were the case, no one would be in ministry; churches would close down one after another all across the world. The beauty of what our God did for us lies in the fact that while we were yet sinners, He died for us and while we are yet sinners, imperfect, incomplete, unreliable, He uses us. How awesome is that.
So many teens waste their high school and college years and miss the opportunity to serve God because they fall for this lie. God’s commands and God’s plans do not have an age limit. Using your youth as an excuse and waiting for God to perfect you will keep you from ever getting the work done that God has for you during this time.
Phil 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
God will finish the work He has begun in you but it takes each bump, it takes each setback and learning how to minister and give to others while God is working in you and teaching you. A teenager who is willing to allow God to use them can change the world. Don’t wait another minute before you let God work. God loves to use young people. Mary, was willing to let God use her, despite public shame, to bring His Son into the world. David stood up for His God and defeated Goliath when none of the adults were willing to fight. Josiah, the boy king, turned God’s people back to Him and brought His law back to Jerusalem, when it would have been easier just to maintain the status quo. Joseph did not give into temptation even though it meant time in jail and God used that time to prepare Him to be second in command over all of Egypt.
God works in the sold-out lives of teens. Age is never an excuse to put your relationship with God on hold.
12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity
God is calling you to be the examples. He wants you to be the ones who turn things around so that some of us adults who are stuck and set in our ways can see the Hand of God working in your lives and follow your lead and turn our world back towards the God who made it. You can’t do this if you wait until everything’s perfect before you start.
Parents, your job is a huge one and it changes with your teen going to college but it certainly doesn’t end. You must continue to pray with and for your teen. You must continue to teach them the difference between right and wrong in a society that no longer can see that difference. Above all you need to model the morals and principles found in God’s word before them on a daily basis. Provide them an example. Do everything that you can in your teens life to stress the importance of a relationship with Christ. Examine your own attitudes. If there is no service in your life, there won’t be in theirs. If church is a chore for you or the first thing dropped when things get too busy, that’s what will be reflected in the life of your child. Be very intentional in the life you live before your children because you will answer to God someday for it.
Teens, Graduates. Today we send you out as representatives of your families and of this ministry and of Jesus Christ Himself. You have been taught, you have been equipped and you now have a choice. You can stand up and change your world or you can sit down and let the world change you.
