Defending the Biblical View of Marriage
Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6
October 8, 2006
Introduction
Today we’re going to look at the first of two very controversial topics – same-sex marriage and abortion. It’s also possible that we might look at the issue of video lottery, but I’m not sure about that yet.
I would just as soon avoid these topics. But as much as I try to run away from them, I simply cannot.
I end up reading something or hearing someone or coming across something that God uses to push me to talk this stuff.
And I’m serious when I say I don’t want to talk about these things. But it’s one of those things where I can’t avoid it.
Every time I talk about these things, I run the risk of offending someone here, and maybe they’ll leave.
But I also find myself facing the fact that I will face God one day to give an account for my time here.
And I can’t imagine standing before him and saying that I was more concerned with keeping people in the seats than about talking about moral issues that happen to be played out in the political arena.
And I’m willing to risk people being mad at me if it causes anyone to think about the implications of these issues we’re facing today.
These issues are off-the-wall important. So let’s look at a very important question before we dive into the issue of marriage.
Shouldn’t the church stay out of political issues?
That depends!
If we’re talking about funds for the highway or whether or not to require city leaders to wear beards during the city’s quasquicentennial celebration, then I guess it’s probably not worth getting all uptight about.
But when it comes to issues like this one and abortion, you have to understand something, and if you don’t get this, then nothing else I or anybody else will say will go far with you.
Here’s what you need to understand: these are not political issues – they are moral and biblical issues. And the church absolutely has to stand up for them.
Here’s the first blank: When moral and biblical issues are on the line, the people of God must get involved.
“You can’t legislate morality.”
All legislation is legislated morality. Do you know that almost no one understands this?
For instance, why do we have speed limits? Because it’s wrong to endanger the lives of others simply because you’re in a hurry.
Why do we have laws against theft and murder? Because these things are wrong.
I’m holding out hope that someday there’ll be a law against late-night infomercials, especially for things like “The Thighmaster"...
The concept of what’s wrong needs a concept of what’s right. And both of these are moral concepts embodied in our laws.
What we’re really being asked to do in defeating this marriage amendment is to legislate immorality.
Ever thought of it that way? I hadn’t either until a couple years ago. What we’re saying if we let this amendment die is that it’s okay and legal to live an immoral and dangerous lifestyle.
And I’m not ready to do that.
So let’s look at the first section of our outline…
The Main issues:
1. God invented marriage.
Genesis 2:22-24 –
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ’woman, ’
for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Who’s idea was marriage in the first place? God’s!
I love doing weddings. I’ve done 2 weddings in the last 3 weeks. One was a pretty traditional wedding, and the other was probably one the most untraditional weddings I’ll ever be a part of.
But when someone comes to me asking if I’ll do their wedding, I usually say yes, because it gives me the opportunity to talk with them about their relationships with Christ and about God’s view of marriage.
We review the vows, and I give very little leeway regarding the vows.
Outside of the vows, I’m pretty open. As long as they don’t ask for something totally off the wall like asking me to wear lederhosen or something goofy like that.
Because let me tell you folks, my legs are not pretty. Don’t make me prove it…
But one of the things I cover when I’m in pre-marital counseling is the fact that marriage was God’s idea in the first place. He invented it, and He knows what’s best.
Now I’ve been known to be arrogant from time to time, though I think God’s been helping me in that area.
But even at the worst of my arrogance, I never felt that I could tell God He didn’t know what He was talking about when it comes to marriage.
A second, but closely related issue is that…
2. Jesus affirmed the original design for marriage.
Matthew 19:4-6 –
4 "Haven’t you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ’made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Did any of that sound familiar? You know, like we just read it a few minutes ago?
One of the arguments I come across once in a while is that Jesus didn’t prohibit same-sex marriage.
But I think He did. When He said this. He was saying, “Remember when God invented marriage waaaaaaaaaayyyy back in the beginning?
“Well, that’s the way it still is. That was God the Father’s plan and it’s the only one.”
Does that make sense?
Folks, it’s so important to understand that we’re not judging same-sex couples. We’re communicating God’s Word about it, and God is the one who will do the judging – in fact He already has – He says it’s wrong.
That’s the bottom line.
I’m not denying that many same-sex couples have strong feelings of love for each other, though some might argue that it is lust, not love. Maybe, I don’t know.
I’m not denying that there are some of these couples who would remain in that relationship for many years or even for life, although it’s so rare as to be statistically almost non-existent.
But that does not change the fact that God has declared this kind of marriage to be outside of His design.
We just don’t have time to go into every possible facet of this issue today. But these are the two main things I come back to.
But now I’d like to move on and spend the rest of our time looking at…
How to discuss this (or any issue) in a Biblical manner:
I’m going to move through these pretty quickly so those of you planning to go to the brunch for Nick Bratland can get there.
My intention here is to give you some ideas that you can use to deal with this issue, especially over the next few weeks.
First…
1. Know what the Bible says about the issue.
Many times issues are addressed specifically in the Bible.
But if it’s not addressed specifically in Scripture, do your best to get a handle on the overall principles of Scripture regarding that issue.
For instance, the word “abortion” doesn’t appear in the Bible. But the overall principle of the sacredness of innocent human life and the fact that life is formed by God in the womb are there for us to bring forth.
We’ve just looked at what the Bible says about marriage, but you can also look to how the Bible defines sexual immorality and see how that applies, so you can bring a broader argument into the discussion.
The second idea is to…
2. Learn to talk, not to rant.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Christians need to be people who can discuss tough issues in a reasoned and reasonable manner.
But let me show you two passages very quickly that help prove the point.
Colossians 4:6 –
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
2 Timothy 2:24-25 –
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth...
Here’s another way to say it: Let go of the hammer.
Here’s what I mean: I heard this saying once, and maybe you’ve heard it, too – “If all you have is a hammer, then everything starts to look like a nail.”
Understand?
Folks, the Scriptures are not for us to pound people with.
Yes, we need to share the Bible with people. But guess whose job it is to do the convicting? Not yours! It’s the job of the Holy Spirit. And you know what? He’s good at it!
Do you understand that far too often the church is seen as a bunch of bigoted, self-righteous weirdos who only care about themselves?
We need to know and be able to speak the truth. But we need to speak the truth in love.
Sometimes we get so caught up in “righteous anger” over something that we forget we’re supposed to agents of grace in Christ.
But if all people here is your anger, they’ll never see the love of Christ.
So talk, don’t rant. Third…
3. Pray for those who are deceived.
Hopefully this is somewhat obvious, but I’m throwing it in here for good measure.
People who refuse to align themselves with the Biblical definition of marriage or any other issue don’t need your scorn, they need your prayers.
How are you at that? Does your reaction to these people get stuck with anger or even disgust? Or does it move on to prayer for them, that God would soften their hearts and open their minds to the truth?
My hope is that you wouldn’t even bother with the anger and disgust, but move right to a compassionate prayer that they would be able to repent before it’s too late.
They are deceived into thinking that they’ve got it right. And only a move of God will change their thinking.
We can have a part in that by lifting them to God.
Conclusion
This isn’t the way you’re supposed to end a message, because the books say you shouldn’t introduce a new topic in your conclusion.
But I want to end by addressing something that comes into play when discussing issues like homosexuality and same-sex marriage, and it also comes into play when discussing how we should get along with those of other religions.
The issue is “tolerance.” Shouldn’t we just be tolerant of those with different views?
Yes, we should be tolerant – of people But we are not to be tolerant of ideas and beliefs that contradict Scripture.
Jesus says we are to love each other. But he was also very clear that it’s either His way or the highway when it comes to what to think and believe.
Reject His words if you want, but understand that you will be judged for doing that.
Not by me, but by Him.
Tolerance of people does not mean agreement. Tolerance means that we respect the individual even when we don’t agree with what they think or believe.
I’m around a lot of people I disagree with on a number of issues. But we get along well, because we care for each other.
We disagree, but we can disagree like adults instead of children, and it’s because we respect each other in spite of our differences.
When it comes to an issue like homosexuality and same-sex marriage, we can respect the person while disagreeing, even strongly, with their positions.
And I think it’s a sign of spiritual maturity when you can do that.
I’m certainly not saying I’ve arrived on this, and that I’m all spiritually mature. Because I’m not.
But when you can learn to love people in spite of their ideas and beliefs, you’ll go a long way to influencing them for truth.
So here’s the challenge: ask God to show you just how you can meet this issue in a way that honors God, upholds the Biblical view of marriage, and yet respects those who disagree.
Mucho tougho. I know. But if you’re really concerned about this issue, you need to make the effort.
It’s too important to ignore. The people of God need to get in the game on this, or we run the risk of allowing 1-3% of the population determine what marriage should really be – a contradiction to the written will of God.
Are you willing? I hope so. We need help to pass this amendment.
If you’re not registered to vote, get registered. Be ready to discuss this with people – with those who agree and those who don’t.
Write to the newspaper. Whatever. But don’t ignore it. We can’t afford that anymore.
Let’s pray.
