Keeping Your Foot Out Of Your Mouth
James 3:1-12
Today we’re going to look at what James has to say about "How to Manage Your Mouth". We love to talk. There are talk shows everywhere. Everybody seems to have something to say. Statistics on the average American. You have 30 conversations a day and you’ll spend 1/5 of your life talking. In one year your conversations will fill 66 books of 800 pages a book. If you’re a man you speak an average of 20,000 words a day. If you’re a woman you speak 30,000 words a day. [Like the guy who was asked, "Do you resent that your wife has the last word?" He replied, "No, I’m just glad when she finally gets to it!"
Some of us are born with a silver foot in our mouths. We have this natural ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Nothing is opened more wrongly at the wrong time than our mouths.
[Like the stock boy at the grocery store. A lady asked him, "Can I buy a half of lettuce?" He walked back to the manager to ask, not realizing she was walking right behind him. He said, "You’re not going to believe this, there’s an old bag out there who wants to buy half a head of lettuce." Then he turned around and saw her standing there and said, "And this fine lady would like to buy the other half." Later in the day the manager cornered the young man and said, “That was the finest example of thinking on your feet I’ve ever seen! Where did you learn that?” “I grew up in Grand Rapids, and if you know anything about Grand Rapids, you know that it’s known for it’s great hockey teams and ugly women.” The mangers face flushed, and he interrupted, “My wife is from Grand rapids!” “And which Hockey team did she play for?”}
Our mouths get us into a lot of trouble. James talks more about the tongue than anybody else in the New Testament. Every chapter in the book of James says something about managing your mouth. "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check." James says, if you can control your mouth, you’re perfect. He’s not talking about sinless. The word "perfection" in Greek literally means "mature, healthy". When you go to the doctor and say, I’m not feeling good. The first thing he says is "Stick out your tongue." Your tongue reveals what’s going on inside of you, not just physically but spiritually. James says, you’ve got to learn to manage your mouth. You’ve got to learn to tame your tongue. You’ve got to get your tongue under control.
James in our text gives 3 reasons why we should learn to manage our mouth and he backs each reason up with 2 illustrations
YOU SHOULD CONTROL YOUR TONGUE BECAUSE:
1. YOUR TONGUE DIRECTS WHERE YOU GO
Our tongue has tremendous influence and control over our life.
Where are you headed in life?
Where are you going to be ten years from now?
Look at your conversation. What do you like to talk about? What do you talk about the most? We shape our words and then our words shape us.
James in our text he compares the tongue to a bit and a rudder. These 2 times, though small like the tongue exercise tremendous directional power.
Consider a bit in a horse’s mouth. You’ve got a huge stallion, 2,000-3,000 pounds, and a 95 pound jockey on his back. The jockey can control the tremendous mighty horse by a little piece of metal stuck strategically over his tongue. Likewise your tongue controls the direction of your life wherever you want to go, and a little bit of a word or a phrase can influence the total direction of your life.
While In the Navy I spent 3 years at New Port News Naval Shipyard, and I had the opportunity to see air craft carriers and submarines sitting our of water in dry dock. If you think these ships are huge in the water you should see them out of the water. Yet, despite their size they are controlled by a small rudder.
Both the bit and the rudder must overcome contrary forces. The bit must overcome the strength of a power horse and the rudder must fight and overcome the strong winds and swift currents that can drive a ship off course. And in like manner, the tongue, must overcome the powerful influences of our fleshly nature.
Th question we need to ask ourselves is where is my tongue directing me to. Is my tongue directing myself and those around me into terrible danger, much like a ship that is out of control and about to crash against the rocks?
2. OUR TONGUE CAN DESTROY WHAT WE HAVE
James also says (5b-8) that the tongue has the power to destroy. James illustrates the destructive power of the tongue, by comparing it to fire and to wild animals.
Fire
A fire can begin with just a spark, but it can grow and destroy a city. A fire reportedly started in the O’Leary barn in Chicago at 8:30 pm October 8, 1871 grew and spread to disastrous proportions, killing 300 people, leaving 100,000 people homeless, destroying 17,500 buildings at a cost to the city of $400,000,000 (1871!)
James says, your tongue can destroy like that. You can loose it all. A careless camper can destroy an entire national forest overnight. A careless word can destroy a life overnight. Thousands of lives. Gossip is like fire. It spreads quickly and it wrecks havoc.
I wonder how many people because of a careless word have destroyed their marriage, or their career, or their reputation, or the reputation of another, or their church, or a friendship. The tongue not only has the power to direct where you go but also to destroy what you have if you don’t learn to control it. It’s like a fire.
Our words can also start fires that can grow and destroy,
Proverbs 16:27 “A scoundrel plots evil and his speech is like a scorching fire....”
Proverbs 12:18 “...reckless words pierce like a sword...”
Proverbs 15:4 “...a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit...”
Proverbs 20:19 “...a gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much...”
James 1:26 “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless...”
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." It does hurt. Fire and words under control can give tremendous warmth and light. But fire and words out of control can be devastating. It can destroy miles and miles of homes and lands and peoples.
vs. 6 "... it sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." Circle "whole course". He’s saying here that words can create a chain reaction. You can say something that you didn’t mean to have any harm, but it can have devastating effects that are beyond your control. You come home from work and you’re tired and grumpy and cranky. The husband walks in and yells at the wife. The wife yells at the oldest kid. The oldest kid yells at the baby sister. The baby sister goes out and kicks the dog. The dog goes and bites the cat. The cat comes in and scratches the baby. The baby bites the head off the Barbie doll. Wouldn’t it be a whole lot simpler if the husband just bit off the head of the Barbie doll himself? Chain reaction, the course of hell.
"set on fire by hell" itself. When we use our tongue to hurt, tear down and destroy we need to understand that the source for this is straight from the depths of hell, and we need to understand that it will spread and corrupt our entire being.
Wild Animals
James also compares the tongue to the destructive power of a wild animal. I visualize this like the destructive power of stampede, crushing and crippling everything in it’s path.
The tongue is also “Full of deadly poison...” a few drops of venom can kill you. David said much the same thing in Ps 140:1-3; “Rescue me, O Lord from evil men...they make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s, the poison of vipers is on their lips....” Would anyone here turn loose hungry lions and angry venomous snakes in the church. Of course not, but we must remember that unruly tongues within the church do the same thing. Now notice that James says the tongue can never be tamed. Though it can be restrained, as long as we are in the flesh, there is a very real possibility that it can leap out at any moment and destroy. Therefore we must maintain constant vigilance against the destructive power of the tongue...
James says you’ve got to learn to manage your mouth, not only because it can direct where you go but it can destroy what you have. You can loose your family, your kids, your career simply by what you say.
3. OUR TONGUE DISPLAYS WHO WE ARE
It reveals my real character. It tells what’s really inside of me.
First James points out how inconsistent we are in our speech. v. 9 "The tongue we praise our Lord and Father and with the same tongue we curse men who’ve been made in God’s likeness. From the same mouth come praise and cursings. My brothers, this should not be."
We come to church on Sunday. The highest use of your mouth is to use it praising God. We sing praises to the Lord. Then we walk out, get into the car and on the way home we argue about where we’re going to eat lunch. Isn’t it amazing how quickly your attitude can change? In one minute you’re saying, "Praise the Lord", the next you’re saying, "Shut up!" The tongue is a strange contradiction. It’s so inconsistent. It’s amazing how quickly it can change, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute we’re praising God and the next we’re cursing other people. Cursing here doesn’t necessarily mean profanity. It means any kind of put down, label. ["You good for nothing... You’ll never amount to nothing ... You’re just like ..."] Any kind of put down is a curse. He says, why curse men? They’re made in God’s image.
This bothers me immensely. I think how is it possible that we can be loving to people we love -- our kids, wives, husbands -- and the next moment be harsh, cold, mean to them? How is it possible? How is it possible in one minute to be talking to my kids in gentle, loving tones and the next minute I’m being mean to them? I hurt them. I am saying things that damage their self esteem. How is that? I grieve over that a lot. I find myself asking forgiveness a lot in my family, especially to my kids.
Do you struggle with an inconsistent tongue? James says we all have it. We speak lovingly in one breath and then lash out in the next. What gives? What’s the problem? Why do we do that? Why can we genuinely mean something in love and kindness one minute and then genuinely mean something in hate the next minute?
James gives the answer in v. 11-12. He says consider the source. "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." The point is, whatever is in the well comes out in the water. Whatever is in the tree, comes out in the fruit. What is the likelihood of an apple tree producing cherries? Zip! My problem is not really my tongue. My problem is my heart. What’s inside is what comes out. My mouth eventually betrays what is really on the inside of me. I can fool you and pretend but eventually my tongue is going to catch me. It’s going to let you know what’s really inside.
Have you heard this excuse? Someone says something really mean or hurtful and they say, "I don’t know what got into me. It’s not like me to say that. I don’t know why I said that. It’s totally out of character. I didn’t really mean it." James would say, Yes, it is. It’s just like you. You meant it. Quit kidding yourself. What’s inside is going to come out. You don’t have a spring that one minute gives salt water and the next gives fresh water. That’s inconsistent. It’s a natural law: what comes out of the well is what is inside of it.
Jesus said in Matthew 12:34 "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Jesus explained the Freudian slip years before Freud even existed. He said what’s inside of you is what’s going to come out. My tongue just displays what I am. It directs where I go. It can destroy what I have. But most of all, it simply displays what I am. It reveals my character.
If you’ve got a problem with your tongue, it’s much more serious that you think. You have a heart problem. A person with a harsh tongue has an angry heart. A person with a negative tongue has a fearful heart. A person with an overactive tongue has an unsettled heart. A person with a boasting tongue has an insecure heart. A person with a filthy tongue has an impure heart. A person who is critical all the time has a bitter heart.
On the other hand, a person who is always encouraging has a happy heart. A person who speaks gently has a loving heart. A person who speaks truthfully has an honest heart.
1. Get a new heart
You’ve got to get a new heart, that’s the problem. Ezekiel 18:31 "Rid yourself of all the offenses you have committed and get a new heart and a new spirit!" Painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well. I can change the outside externals, I can turn over a new leaf, but what I really need is a new life. What I need is a fresh start. I need to let go of all the past and be born again and start over. I need to get a new heart.
How do I get a new heart? 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new person. The old has passed away. Behold all things have become new." New life, new heart, new spirit. When you come to Jesus Christ, He wipes out everything you’ve done in the past. He says You’re starting over. It’s like being born again. You need a new heart.
We need to pray like David prayed in Psalm 51 "Create in me a clean heart, O God" because what’s in my heart is going to come out in my mouth.
2. Ask God for help every day.
You need supernatural power to control your tongue. You can’t do it on your own. Your life is a living proof of that. We cannot control it on our own. We need supernatural power so we ask God to help us. Psalm 141:3 "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Great verse to memorize and quote every morning. "God, put a muzzle on my mouth. Guard my lips. Don’t let me be critical today. Don’t let me be judgmental. Don’t let me say things off the cuff and then I regret." You need to ask God for help daily because you need His power in your life.
Sidlow Baxter: "The proof that God’s Spirit is in your life is not that you speak in an unknown tongue but you control the tongue you do know." You watch your words. And God gives you the power to not slander, not lie, not exaggerate.
Getting into God’s word is a part of asking God for help. As you ask Him for help you need to read His word. Computer statement: Garbage in, garbage out. What goes into your mind, goes into your heart. And what goes into your heart, comes out of your mouth. Fill your mind with the word of God -- with positive things, whatsoever things that are true, etc. -- think on these things.
3. Think before you speak
Engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear. James 1:19 "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." There’s a designation here. They go in order. First be quick to listen and then slow to speak. If you’re quick to listen you will be slow to speak. If you’re slow to speak, then you will be slow to become angry. If you have a problem with anger you need to work on being quick to listen and slow to speak. The result will be you’ll be slow to anger. [Thomas Jefferson, Rules of Conduct; “When annoyed count 10 before you speak; if very annoyed, count to 100].
What does your tongue say about you? What does it reveal about you? If we were to play back a tape of every conversation you’ve had in this past week, what would we learn about you? God hears it all. Our tongues display who we are. They direction your life. They can destroy all you have?
A bit and a rudder must be under the hand of a strong arm. James is saying that the only way to get control of your tongue is let Jesus Christ have control of your heart. What’s in your heart is going to come out in your mouth. You let Christ’s hand be on your bit, your rudder and let Him direct your life.
Maybe you need to ask forgiveness. Maybe you need to go to your kids to say, "I’m sorry. I’m inconsistent the way I talk to you. Sometimes I’m loving, sometimes I’m harsh. That shows I’m like everybody else. I’m human." We all stumble in many ways -- all of us. Maybe you need to apologize to your wife or your husband. "I’m not as loving to you in my speech as I ought to be. I tend to be apathetic, cold, indifferent. I talk to you harshly. I boss everybody around. I’m inconsistent and inconsiderate." Ezekiel says, "Get rid of all your offenses you’ve committed and get a new heart and a new spirit."
