PASSING BY THE OTHER SIDE
Elisa was born on February 11, 1989. She was a beautiful baby, despite the fact that she arrived underweight and addicted to crack cocaine. She had been conceived in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, at a homeless shelter where her mother stayed and her father was a cook. The social workers at the hospital, horrified by her low birth weight, assigned custody to Elisa’s father, and did the right thing.
Gustavo became a conscientious father, raising Elisa on his own into a delightful, happy girl. He attended parenting classes, braided her hair every day, and made his daughter the focus of his life. A Greek prince, charmed by Elisa, paid for her tuition at Brooklyn Friends School. Meanwhile, Elisa’s mother was struggling with drug problems and an abusive new husband. She petitioned for and was granted unsupervised visits with Elisa, which the little girl soon came to dread. Elisa told her teachers at school that her mother locked her in a closet when she visited.
When Gustavo died of cancer in 1994, his relatives fought for custody of Elisa. However, her mother’s lawyer, from the Legal Aid Society, claimed that the society’s own caseworkers had visited the family and determined that Elisa would be better off with her mother’s family. The Child Welfare Administration also approved the girl’s mother, telling the court it had been monitoring the family for a year. The judge agreed, ordering Elisa to the home of her mother and stepfather, even though he was just back home after having served two months for stabbing Elisa’ mother seventeen times.
On November 29, 1995, was Elisa funeral. Her pretty dress and the flowers placed around her head in the casket couldn’t obscure all thirty of the circular marks left on her body by blows from a hand wearing a ring, and the wounds on her head from being beaten against a concrete wall. Her mother told police that she had forced Elisa to eat her own feces and had mopped the floor with Elisa’s head. The police discovered that she had been repeatedly sexually assaulted, and several neighbors said that they had called authorities several times about the family, having seen the children wander around in the middle of the night as the mother sought crack. Elisa would have been 7 in two months.
This event happened in the densely populated area of Brooklyn. Hundreds of people would have seen this family. Most people in the community would have known about the mother’s habit. But why did only several people call to the authorities. You would think that every family in the area would have called. The authorities did not even do anything. Maybe several are five or six. Maybe even ten people called. But this ten people would have been ten out of hundreds or probably ten out of thousands. Why did so many people turn a blind eye to the problems?
Maybe people turned away from the situation because of the nature of man. Even in Bible times people did not want to get involved in a difficult circumstances. Sometimes man prefers to not get involved. Luke 10:30-35 “Jesus replied and said, "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho; and he fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went off leaving him half dead. And by chance a certain priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, and came to him, and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ’Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return, I will repay you.”
Even in a day when hospitality was a major virtue, people were still crossing on the other side. People did not truly want to be a neighbor. It is easier to not get involved, your hands do not get dirty and your time is still your own. Today’s culture is even worst. People avoid helping others.
One reason people do not get involved is because of time. Notice that the Priest does not have time to stop. Maybe he has to get to worship or an important meeting. He has work to do. Getting involved is going to take precious time away from a time stressed culture. Let me just pretend this is not happening and then I can go on my merry way without feeling guilty. Satan is always timing us that we just do not have the time to help others.
Another reason is safety and pride. The Levite is from the wealthy class of people in Jerusalem. These were the people driving the SUV’s and the fancy cars. Safe should be a major concern for us but sometimes we can take safety to far. We do not need to be rushing into situations without addressing safety issues, but safety is not an excuse that God will always accept. Imagine all the people who did not call about Elisa because they were afraid that the family might find out. Somehow word would spread that you called the authorities on them. Do you feel that God would have accepted that reason? Well Lord you know I wanted to but that family had a history of abuse and I did not want to take a chance. Sometimes you have to take risks for the overall betterment of society.
One time when I was down in Camp Wood, the south part of Texas visiting with the Garnett sisters a family we got struck. We were driving on a old dirt road. In Camp Wood, that was the majority of roads because it was such a small town. We were traveling back and had to drive through numerous creeks. I was probably driving to fast in hitting the water because the water splashed up into the engine and drowned out the motor. The car was stuck in the creek. The car was flooded. We got out and started walking to the main road. We were hoping someone would pick us up. We saw three vehicles go by. Each one I tried to wave down. The first one had a lady driving it but she just continued to fly by without even slowing down. In fact I think she sped up just in case I was going to try to jump the vehicle. The next car had a couple in it. They did not stop even; they did not even look at us like they did not stop because they did not see us. There is nothing in southwest Texas, so I am sure the no look was not going to cut it with me. Finally, a truck full of Mexicans stopped and helped what was the matter. We told them the story, and instead of giving us a lift to the main road. They went back with us and helped pull the car all the way back to the help. Which group do you think was the loving neighbor to us? Which group served the Lord in this situation?
So why is it that people will not call to report abuse or help me out when my car is broken down? Has the world become such a scary place that we do not want to risk anything? Everyone knows that society has changed. Many of you in this room would hitch hike around when you were in the service. You would not be worried if your car broke down and a man stopped to help. You did not have to worry about people trying to take advantage of you as much. But is this world this bad now. When I was a teenager working, when my car broke down the next car would pick me up and take me home or to work. I never thought about getting into a strangers car nor did the person helping me out worry about me shooting them. On the news there are reports of violence and murder. We are afraid to help. But this is not always the care. The people could have called and no one would have known. People could have helped.
Maybe people do not help as much because people do not want to meddle as much. Today the society teaches us to stay out of everyone’s busy. My business is not your business. Recently, I saw Sister Sherri at school and she stated that “She has 365 days to stay out of my business and I have 365 days to stay out of her business.” This seems to be the model for many people. We are such an individualistic society that is bothered by any intrusion into my world. We are not open to help as much. Or is it people just do not want to help. There are so many barriers that people are worried about in helping.
Or have we lost our need to be responsible for others. Nobody really wants to be his brother’s keeper. This was the attitude of Cain. Genesis 4:8-9 “And Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" And he said, "I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” No one today might say that he is not his brother’s keeper. Today the slogan is that “It is not my problem.” I did not cause this, I am not responsible for another’s actions, but these are all ways of absolving ourselves from responsibility for the welfare of others.
Catherine was killed in a late-night attack on her home street as she returned from work. She did not die a muffled death. It was a long, loud, tortured, public event. Her killer had chased and attacked her in the street three times over a period of thirty-five minutes before his knife finally silenced her cries for help. Incredibly, “Time” reports that thirty-eight of her neighbors watched the events of her death unfold from the safety of their apartment windows without so much as lifting a finger to call the police. In fact twice the sound of their voices and the sudden glow of their bedroom lights interrupted him and frightened him off. Each time he returned, sought her out, and stabbed her again. Not one person telephoned the police during the assault; one witness called after the woman was dead.
The investigators in looking into this case interviewed the people and asked them why they did not call. There were some weak answers of “I don’t know.” Some stated that they were afraid and three people said that they did not want to get involved. This incident did not happen last week or last decade, it happened in 1964. Society has only gotten worst not better.
Has society really become this callous towards one another? Do people not care about each other? Is really the desire for safety a legitimate response, especially when there seems to be no danger at all to the person? Can it really be no time also? It was late I am sure, but who had anything to do in the late hours of the night? Do we really want to believe that people just do not care about other people?
Maybe if more people called about Elisa, the agency would have responded by removing her from the home. If more than just several people called a life could have been saved. But not enough people cared enough to call. Just imagine if one person called the police for Catharine, there would be another person on earth. A life could have been saved if just one person called. But no one bothered to make the effort.
This is certainly not the attitudes that Christians should have. If I was being attacked, call. If I needed help, help. Because Christian by a different moral system. Jesus gave it in Matthew 22:39 “’YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ If you want people to help, you have to help others.
