I Choose To Be Free
Genesis 50:15:21 Ephesians 4:29-32 Matthew 18:21-35
(I’m in debted to Andy Stanley from his Book "It Came From Within" for some of the general concepts listed in this sermon"
"I also used a video clip on forgiveness from sermonspice.com to really introduce the message entitled How Often"
Today I want us to look at the choice to be free from the hurt someone else inflicted in our lives. When I was nine years old, I was tricked by a family friend who must have been eighteen or so. He told me at the time that he had some girls waiting for us. At age nine I thought I knew something about sex so I was eager to go and meet these girls.
Well when we got there to this place, there were no girls, and instead this family friend ending up sexually abusing me. He told me if I never told anyone he would give me some money. But since he let me go at about 4 in the morning. When my grandmother asked me where I had been, thinking I was at my aunt’s house, and I told her I had been with Br. She knew immediately what had happened.
The news spread through our small town like wild fire. His father begged my mother not to press charges, and since the family were such good friends she did not. There was a time when I didn’t know what hurt more, the night of the event or the teasing that I got for months and even years afterwards by some of my family members by the comments that were made.
Each one of us here today, have a day in our lives that we wish had never happened and for some of us its been a series of days. There are many of you here who know what’s it like to have sexually abused. It was even was even worse when it was done by someone you trusted. Someone who should have been there to protect.
Some of you here know the pain of not having your mother or your father be a part of your lives. Some of you had parents you wished you never had. Some of you have children that have brought you untold grief and suffering. Some of you have been hurt by the vicious rumors and gossip of others. Some of you gave years of your lives to a company and was gotten rid of in the twinkling of an eye in a cruel and unjust way. Some of you know what it’s like to be made fun of at school day in and day out. Some of you have a physical attribute that others laugh at and make fun of regularly. It never feels good when they do and it’s never really funny.
Some of you have been devastated by your parent’s divorce, and now it seems like the parent that left doesn’t care what happens to you. Some of you gave all you had to make your marriage work, and the other person still betrayed you. They never send back money to help with the kids. Though our circumstances may have been different, we have all arrived at this place in which we want our payback. We want what was taken away from us restored.
In all of these situations somebody has created a huge debt in our lives and we want to be repaid. Somebody stole your right to have a mother and father in your life as you were growing up. Somebody stole your virginity. Somebody stole your marriage. Somebody stole your self esteem. Somebody stole your job. Somebody stole your home. Somebody stole your dreams for your child. Somebody stole your reputation.
Somebody stole your opportunity and your chance to get ahead. Yes there is a huge debt that somebody owes specifically to us. Chances are we know who that somebody is. Sometimes we have to look at them everyday. We know that they owe us, and they act as though nothing should be repaid. We should just go on as normal.
This is a problem that’s been going on in human nature from biblical days. Peter was one of Jesus’ disciples. Somebody had hurt Peter, and the person had done it more than once. Peter had heard Jesus talk about love and forgiveness. Peter was struggling with this thing, so he asked Jesus, “Lord how many times must I forgive my brother when he does me wrong. Should I do it up to seven times?”
Now Peter was trying to be generous because up to that time, three times was more than enough as far as everyone else was concerned. Even the religious leaders of his day had agreed that at three times you had done very well. Perhaps Peter knew the number 7 represented perfection.
But think about it for a moment how silly that sounds. Someone does something to you on the seventh time you say, “because of who I am, and the forgiving spirit that I have, I have now completely and perfectly forgiven you 7 times, and I thank God that if you do it one more time, I can now knock the living daylights out of you and kick your behind like I have been wanting to do all these other times.” That doesn’t sound much as if you’ve been growing and becoming more like Jesus does it.
Jesus comes back with, “No, seven times is not quite enough, you need to think in terms of seventy seven times. “ Now Jesus is not saying, each time they do it, go and put a little mark by their name so that you can know when you have hit number 71, and you can announce to the world, “it’s okay for me to hold a grudge now. I did my Christian duty. I’m going to hate that person for the rest of my life.”
Jesus recognizes something we forget. When somebody hurts us, there is only one way we can stop the hurting and choose to be set free and that’s to choose to be free by letting it go. Image for a moment that hurt was like a chain on your leg with a ball called hurt at the end. The ball grows in weight each time you feel the pain of what someone does to you. Now what’s going to happen as you move through life with this ball growing all the time.
No one can cut through it. You carry it until you decide to cancel it. One day you’re on a boat and you fall overboard. Even though you’re a great swimmer this weight is pulling you down into the water. You have a choice you can choose to be free from the hurt, or you and hurt can go together to your grave. How many of you know, that hurt will have robbed you of your life, if you desire to hold on to it, more than you desire God’s plan for your life?
Jesus goes on to tell the disciples a story about the kingdom of God in Matthew 18:21-35. There was a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. Now these servants are probably high officials who were to pay the king a certain amount of taxes from their particular part of the county. As they were doing an audit, this one fellow, let’s call him John, came up short in sending in the taxes owed.
He came up about 20 million dollars short. How many of you know that’s a lot of money owed. He had ripped off the king for 20 million dollars. How many of you know, he’s looking at some serious jail time. How would you feel if someone you trusted had stolen 20 million dollars from you.
The king was furious. He wanted to be repaid. He wanted everything that was owed to him. He had not done anything for this guy to rip him off like this. He ordered that the man, his wife, his children, his house, his stock, his bonds, his current style of Mercedes and Bentley all be sold in order to repay the debt. Now even with all this, this was not going to bring in 20 million dollars.
John fell on his knees and begged the king, please if you just give me a little more time, if you’ll just be patient with me, I will pay back everything. The king did something that was extremely unusual. He had compassion on the guy and told him, I cancel this debt. You are free to go. Wait a minute, everybody was saying. Why don’t you at least get what you can, and let him and his family go.
Let me ask you something, if the king had of been able to sell the guy’s house and vehicles and stock for $500,000. Do you think it would make him feel better about himself to know that, a) I at least got $500,000 even though he got away with 19 and half million or b) I choose to set myself my free from being angry and resentful toward that guy.
There were other options the king could have taken. He could have chosen to never trust any of his officials again. He could have demanded yearly audits. He could have had this guy executed as an example. He could have tortured him to find out where the money went and who else was involved in the embezzling scheme. Instead he chose to set himself free from this wrong done, and move on with his life.
Some of us have people who owe us incredible sums. But you know something, even though they owe us, they can never ever repay us. How does a parent pay you back for the years they were not around? How does two parents pay back their children when they chose to divorce each other, rather than do what it takes to make things work out?
How does the person who made your life miserable give you back all those years? How do you give back to someone their virginity or their innocence. How does your child undo the humiliation they brought on you by their behavior in school or that choice to use drugs, to get pregnant, or to go to jail? How does the person who ridiculed you, undo the ridicule? They can’t. They can’t pay you back. No matter how much time they give to you, now, it will not give you back the years, and it will not undo the pain.
You are now in control of this situation. You are the one that’s going to determine the course of your life. You can let those who hurt you continue to have control of your life if you want to by letting their behaviors become lodged in your heart.
You will decide things such as, “I’ll never trust another woman”, “All men are nothing but dogs”, “I’ll never try to help someone again”, “As long as I live, I’m going to get them back”, “I will hate them until the day I die.” The decision to do any of these things is a decision to live inside a prison. Your hurt becomes your handicap. But there is a better way. You can choose to become free.
Jesus teaches us that forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice to take a certain course of action toward a specific individual. How do you think John felt when he heard the king say, it’s cancelled? The debt is cancelled. Go on about your business. John went out free on the outside, but he did not let it penetrate his heart. John ran into a fellow by the name of Barry. John immediately got upset because Barry had ripped him off of some money. Take how much money you make in a day and multiply times a 100 and you will see how much Barry owed John.
John went over to Barry and told him, “I do not want any excuses this time, tell me where is my money.” To show that he was serious, he grabbed Barry around the neck and started choking the man. I demand that you pay me back what you owe. To break the grip off his neck, Barry fell to the ground and begged John, be patient with me. I’ll get you the money. John said, “I don’t want any more of your lies.
He had Barry thrown into prison until he could repay the debt. John did what he had a right to do legally. Barry owed him a legitimate debt, and he had the right to make him pay for it. You may have a right to hate somebody, a right to have a grudge, and a right to hold it against them until the day you die. But---What predicament does it place you in?
It was a shock to the people to have the king forgive John of that 20 million dollar debt. It was unbelievable that someone who had had that much money cancelled, would turn around and throw someone else in jail for such a small amount of money in comparison. The word got back to the king.
Now can you imagine someone saying king, you remember that fellow John whose 20 million dollar debt you cancelled. The king probably smiled and said, yeah, “so what’s the good news on what he’s been doing lately.” “Well actually there is no good news. He threw a guy in jail because the guy owed him small amount of money.” The King’s smile turned to a frown, and then to anger. He immediately sent for John to find out just what was his problem. He said, “man after I cancelled that debt you owed me, because you begged me to do it, why did you not have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you.
The king then turned him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed. Torture was used as a means to find out every possible place you might have any hidden money or possessions that could be seized and sold. John had chosen not to be set free and he ended up in prison in torture for the rest of his life. Jesus then goes on to say, that God the Father will treat us the same way as the King did if we do not forgive each other from the heart.
The reality is we all are going to face the issue of having to forgive someone for the pain they are causing us. You may say, I might forgive them, but I’ll never have another thing to do with them. What if God wants you to do something else with them?
There was a guy in the Old Testament by the name of Joseph. His brothers were so jealous of him that at first they planned to kill him. Then they decided why kill him when they could make money off of him. They sold him as a slave. Thanks to them he was a slave for about 10 years of his life, with two years of it spent in a prison. God changed his circumstances in life. He decided to forgive his brothers, but he wanted nothing else to do with them. Unfortunately for Joseph, God’s plan included Joseph providing for his brothers, their families, and their children. God’s will for them was all connected and tied together.
Joseph made the decision “I Choose to be free from the wrong you caused me.” Joseph said, “even though what you did, you did it with evil toward me, God has used it to bring about some good.” The thing about knowing Jesus Christ, is that he does not ask us to do something without equipping us with the power to make it happen. If he says forgive, we do not need to wait for a feeling, we do not need to wait for a moment, we do not even need to wait on the other person. We can do it on the spot.
By God’s grace, “I chose to forgive my rapist. I have seen him a few times since that incident of 41 years ago. But there is no hatred in my heart. I feel pity for him if anything. I know if he needed my help in a situation and I could do something to save him, I would. It’s not because of me. It’s because of God.
That person who hurt you can never fully pay you back. You need to accept the person may have been a jerk, the person was cruel, the person was a sinner, the person was less than perfect, the person was ruthless, and lacked compassion. The only way you can be fully repaid is to cancel the debt.
Think of what your life will become if you choose to be free. That person’s actions can’t reach from the past to scare you and to immobilize you. That person can’t keep you feeling like you’re a nobody, going nowhere. You will no longer feel afraid to try new things. You will give yourself the chance to trust others again.
You’ll stop making all men or women pay for the hurt one caused you. You can start to build a normal relationship with your children or with your parents. You can quit building walls around you. You and your spouse can have a fresh start. You can make the most of the time you have left. Jesus said I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly. The truth will make you free. Choose To Be Free today. Give Christ charge of your life.
The most important reason we need to forgive, is that we need to free God to forgive us. God has told us in his Word that our forgiveness will be based on our willingness to forgive others. There is no way we could repay the debt we owe to God for the death of His Jesus Christ on our behalf. If none of us had done wrong, Jesus never would have had to go to the cross. He didn’t ask us should he do it. He did it. He even prayed for us while He was there saying, “Father forgive them, for they do not understand what they are doing.” It was God’s love for us, that made it possible for God to be free from the debt that we all owe To Him. I close with this illustration from Patricia Cook. I heard this thought a long time ago. Holding on offense against someone is like being a jailer, while the offending party is in the jail. You’re keeping them in there but good. You alone have the key to let them out, but you just won’t, because of what they did to you. The problem is, since you’re the jailer, you’re stuck there too. Oh, the person might be behind the bars, but you can’t go anywhere either. The only way to set yourself free is by letting them go, too. Will you let someone go free today? Will you turn the key? Will you forgive?
Freely we received, freely give.
Sermon Outline Pastor Rick
“I Choose To Be Free” Gen. 50:15-21
Ephesians 4:29-32 Matt. 18:21-35
A. Handling A Difficult Time As A Child
1. My Story
2. Your Story
3. Abuse, Desertion, Rumors, Fired,
4. Ridiculed, Betrayal, Unfaithfulness
5. Arrived At The Same Point-Hurt
B. A Huge Debt Has Been Created
1. Things Stolen From Us
2. Childhood, Innocence, Marriage, Reputation
3. Job, Dream, Child, Money, Opportunity
4. Huge Debt Owed—Know Who Owe It
C. Peter Deals With Unforgiveness & Debt
1. 3, 5, 7—Just How Much
2. Is 7 Realistic—Now That It’s #8
3. Jesus With 77 Times
4. Not The Literal Account
5. Wife & The 6 Things To Forgive
D. Jesus Shares A Truth
1. Only One Can Stop The Hurting
2. Hurt And The Chain- Weight
3. Hurt Over-Board—It Will Rob You
Choose To Be Free
E. Jesus Shares Matt 18:21-35
1. King Ripped Off For 20 Million
2. John In Deep Trouble
3. Mercy Requested & Given
4. But Why Not Get Something Back
5. What’s More Satisfying
6. King Could Have Changed His Life--Options
Annual Audits, Trust No One, Make Example
F. We Are Kings With Accounts
1. How Do You Pay Back
2. Parents, Children, Innocence, Wasted Years
3. Drugs, Pregnancy, Jail
4. You Are In Control
5. Choose Other Options
hate all men/women, never trust, hate
6. Hurt Become Handicap
7. Choose To Be Free
G. There Are Others With Accounts
1. Barry Owes 100 Days Of Pay
2. John Demands, No Mercy, Lockup
3. Legal & Within His Right
4. You May Have The Right To Do It
5. The Shock To Those Around You
H. The King Gets Word Of What’s Going Done
1. From Smiles To Frowns To Anger
2. King Is Confused
3. John’s Anger Lacking—Off To Jail
4. The Torture
J. Jesus Throws In A Twist
1. Links Our Forgiveness To God’s
2. I’ll Forgive But—Nothing Else
3. God & Other Plans
4. The Tragedy Of Joseph
5. Joseph Made the Choice
Genesis 50:20-21
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. [21] So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
K. God’s Grace Healed Me
1. I Choose To Be Free
2. Accepting The Sinners, The Cruel,
3. Only You Can Repay The Debt
L. Choose God’s Vision For You
1. No More Immobilization, Fear,
2. No More Victim
3. Choosing To Rebuild Relationships
4. Fresh Start
5. Jesus With Life
6. Truth & Freedom
7. Putting Jesus In Charge
8. God Paid The Price
9. The Jailer Illustration.
10. Evelyn Freely
